Fuzzy Images Forced Apart (Book two)
by BluePixeledRedFox
Summary: Kurt and Kerri told each other I love you, he was chosen to be the Drama teacher after Gambit leaves, but now he'll be a teacher while she is a student. Teacher-student relationships are not allowed and Scott is determined to make sure that the rules are followed. Kurt wants to do what's best for them, but can they last a year apart? The 2nd book in the Fuzzy Images series! Kurt/OC
1. The ending of happiness?

**[AN: First AN of the second book! Whoot! Here we go again! Firstly, working on a cover, sorry it doesn't have one yet! Secondly, I wanted to let anyone know upfront that this book will be shorter. Mostly due to how the story has to progress for the next book; I really didn't want the second genre of this story to be hurt/angst or whatever they call that here lol, so it goes a little fast to avoid moping and sorrow. I hope you'll thank me and not hate me for that. So tired... . but there's still more work today! And I'm still half a week away from being half done with fourteen hour days! . I'm doing more reading than writing at the moment, but I still have a couple chapters up my sleeve, so don't worry, as of now, every thing's still planned to stay the same. So, anyway! On with the story! I hope you enjoy it, please feel free to comment, vote, message or just read!]**

* * *

It was late July, and Kerri sat in the grass against the wall of the Xavier School for gifted youngsters/ Institute for higher learning, looking up at the stars, reflecting on her life, and how wonderful it had become since she had come here; she didn't have anyone tormenting her and calling her ugly names, telling her she was worthless and was going to end up as a crack whore, she wasn't being bullied by everyone because she was a mutant, and the only time she was hit or kicked was in training.

It was past curfew, and everyone but her, Logan, and the night hall monitor were in bed. She had special permission to be out of her room, of course, due to her insomnia and restlessness.

Xavier had thought it better to let her wander so she didn't go nuts and tear her room up, or anything.

She heard footsteps coming toward her along the wall, and Gambit, who was the monitor for the night, crouched next to her. "What you up to, little chere?" He asked.

"Not much, just enjoying the stars," she told him. "Do you know what time it is?"

"'Bout two-thirty, why, you and Nightcrawler got a date or somethin' you wan' me to leave for?" He teased.

"No, what would be the point of that, we can't go anywhere, or do anything," Kerri said, not realizing until after she'd said it what exactly they could do if they met up at night, although Kurt was such a gentleman that they probably wouldn't end up doing _that_ anyway.

"Oh chere, you're so innocent. S'a good thing he not really a devil, or he eat you alive." With that, he stood and left.

Kerri's thoughts turned to Kurt, who may look devilish on the outside, but anyone who knew him knew he was the gentlest, kindest, sweetest person in the world.

'Two-thirty,' she thought. 'Only a few hours until I was born. Then I'll be eighteen.'

She hadn't told anyone that it was her birthday, and she didn't think that they could look into her files in the office.

She smiled, thinking of when she'd come to the school. She'd only given them a first name, quoting _the Pirates of the_ _Caribbean_; telling them they could call her Smith when pressed for a last name, so she wasn't going to be surprised when no one knew that she was going to be eighteen when they woke up.

It wasn't that she didn't want to tell people, just that no one had celebrated her birthday since her dad had died when she was nine; her mother had remarried so quickly that the bed had hardly gotten cold, and she suspected that her step-father didn't like kids, since she was still an only child, and he'd treated her like garbage. After that, there were her friends at school, but her birthday was in the middle of summer, so they didn't celebrate it, and in fact, had thought she just never invited them to her parties.

On her last birthday she had been living on the streets, having turned herself into a cat using her mutant powers, after being found out as a mutant.

It wasn't a great birthday; it had been a long time since she'd had anything to eat, and the garbage cans she usually went through had been empty for at least two weeks or more, so she finally had climbed the fire escape ladder and gone to the window of the old lady who sometimes tried to get her to come closer to pet her.

Kerri had stayed away, worried that it was a trap, that she was going to be caged and sent to the pound, which had almost happened before, or that she'd be hit and kicked by the woman's son and grandchildren, like they did to any stray animal they saw as the went to her apartment to visit. But the old woman was alone, and readily pulled out a can of cat food for her, opening it and putting it on the sill, trying to get her to come closer.

She'd tried to stay away for a long time, but to her starving mind the food smelled delicious, and she'd eaten it as the woman had stroked her back, despite feeling broken and below human.

'Good times,' she thought sarcastically, and stood up to go to bed.

She should probably try to get some sleep before the sun rose and Kitty woke her up to help her pack for college.

* * *

Kurt stood outside of the Drama room, about to go in and learn about teaching.

He was excited for his new job; he loved drama, he wouldn't have to worry about anyone finding out about his strange appearance and calling the police on him, and, best of all, he got to stay here, with Kerri.

His mouth slid easily into a smile as he thought about her.

He loved her so much, and she loved him back just as much, it almost felt like it was too good to be true that he'd found a woman that loved him, despite his frightening appearance. Even if he still covered it with his image inducer most of the time.

He opened the door and walked in, seeing Professor LeBeau sitting slouched at his desk at the front of the class. The room was a quarter of a circle, round at the back because of the storage rooms, moving down in steps large enough to sit the desks there, until the front, where the desk was off to the side of the almost oval shaped flat area, leaving the rest of the space open to act and run around in, with an office behind a door on the wall.

"Hallo, Professor LeBeau," his German accent lilted as he took in the Cajun's tired face.

"Good mornin', it just Gambit now, remember, you're not a student anymore."

"Oh, ja," Kurt laughed. "You look tired, Gambit, is anyzhing wrong?"

"No," he said in his Cajun drawl. "Jus' had night monitor duty, you know de feeling soon enough, oh, and I saw your girlfriend, she was asking about de time, you not goin' down dere and teachin' her 'bout de birds and de bees, now, are you, mon ami?"

Kurt blushed. "Nein! Das ist nicht, I'm not doing zhat, Professor!" {No, it's not (cut off from saying it's not like that)}

"It Gambit, remember, and we just required to ask, aldough Gambit wouldn't blame you if you was," he told him.

* * *

"And this, and this, oh, and this... I'm not going to have room for all of this stuff!" Kitty exclaimed as she tried to stuff her clothes into her suitcase.

"Here, let me help," Kerri said, straightening and condensing the fabric so it would fit.

"I'm giving a bunch of this stuff to you," Kitty said as she made a huge pile on one side of her bed.

"Kitty," Kerri laughed as she worked, "there's no way most of this stuff would fit me, I'm taller and bigger than you."

"Jeez, rub it in, Kerri, I know I'm short, I realize that every time I stand next to Piotr," Kitty joked.

Kerri smiled, she was going to miss this. She'd only come here less than a year ago, and she hadn't talked to anyone but teachers the first couple of months, but Kitty had been determined to befriend her, and she had.

"Ok, that's it," Kitty said as she zipped her suitcase and pulled another one out. She opened it and Kerri saw that it already had clothes in it.

"Wow, Kitty, I didn't know you wore stuff like this," she said as she pulled out one of Piotr's shirts.

"Yes, I do, to bed," Kitty answered suggestively, and Kerri laughed. "Don't you ever wear Kurt's shirt to bed?" She asked.

"Um, we haven't gone that far," Kerri blushed as she stuffed another shirt into the suitcase.

"You don't have to do it to get one of his shirts, just ask for one and wear it," Kitty laughed at her.

Kerri didn't answer, just blushed and packed.

* * *

Kurt found Kerri in the library a while later and sat next to her at the table in the back corner.

"Hallo, liebling," he said, as he took her hand in his.

"Hi, Kurt, how is your day so far?" She asked.

"Ok, besser, now zhat I have found you."

She blushed, then thought of Kitty's comment about asking him for a shirt to sleep in, and blushed harder.

"Oh, zhat I knew vhat you vere zhinking," he said as he watched her face turn red.

"No-nothing, just something Kitty said," she denied.

"Ja, she does zhat sometimes," Kurt commented. "Do you vant to come outside vizh me?"

"Ok, but only if you'll hold my hand," Kerri said, as though he wouldn't anyway.

"Of course, liebling."

They walked outside and wandered around the grounds, enjoying the slight breeze and the shade from the trees.

"Vhat is zhat?" Kurt pointed to something in the distance. "See es? Right zhere."

Kerri looked, but didn't see anything. "I don't see it, what are you talking about?"

"It's right zhere, ve had besser go check es out," Kurt said, and they started walking toward it.

"I still don't see anything," Kerri said.

"It's right zhere, ve are almost zhere," Kurt told her, still walking and pulling her behind him by her hand.

"I still don't- oh," Kerri stopped, seeing a blanket spread out on the ground with a wicker basket on it. "What's this?" She turned around to see that he had turned off his image inducer and that his true, literally, blue self was showing, fuzzy, tailed, yellow eyed and all.

Kurt pulled her down and took out a tupperware, revealing a container of strawberries and grapes.

"I don't remember buying those," Kerri said, looking at the delicious fruit.

"Ja, zhat's because I bought zhem," he told her, holding the container to her with his three fingered hand.

She looked at it and bit her lip, then took a strawberry and licked it before biting it and closing her eyes in delight at the flavor. "Mmmmmm..."

Kurt watched her, then took a piece of fruit for himself. They ate all of the fruit and drank the lemonade that he pulled out of the basket as well.

Kerri ate the last strawberry, laying on her back and looking at the sky upside down. "These are good, I might be tempted to buy some next weekend, of course, they'll never make it to the fridge," she joked, wondering how long it had been since she'd eaten strawberries.

"Zhere's somezhing else," Kurt told her, and she rolled over and half sat up on her side to look at him. He pulled out a large tupperware box and took off the lid. Inside was a small cake. "Happy birzhday, Kerri," he told her.

Kerri's eyebrows went up. "How did you know it was my birthday?" She asked, surprised that anyone knew.

"It says so on your drivers license, liebling, did you not vant anyvone to know?" He laughed.

"Well, I didn't tell anyone, and I haven't showed anyone my id. How did you see it?" She asked suspiciously.

"It took some doing, aber I did, vizh Kitty's help, of course," he told her.

"Great, so Kitty knows it's my birthday too?" She asked. "That means everyone probably knows by now."

"Nein, I vanted you all to myself," Kurt told her, laying by her side and putting a hand on her cheek. "I vanted to be zhe first vone to vish you happy birzhday."

"Well, thank you, Kurt." She leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"You are velcome, liebling," he told her, going back for another kiss, but she stopped him by speaking.

"You know, you call me liebling all the time, but I only ever call you by your name, maybe I should call you something else."

"Aber, I like es vhen you say my name, especially vhen I'm kissing you und you can't keep it in," he said, his tail flicking back and forth in pleasure at the memory.

Kerri blushed and looked away, pulling back slightly. "Jeez, I didn't realize I did that."

Kurt's tail wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back to him. "Don't be shy, liebling, it's nice vhen I hear es..." Now it was his turn to blush, and they were silent for a moment.

"Putting that aside," she said. "I was thinking of something else to call you, and I came up with something..."

"Ja? Und vas ist es?" He asked. {yeah? and what is that?}

"Well, like... Herzlieb..." A smile spread over her blushing face as she looked back at him from the blanket under them.

"Herzlieb, zhat's vas du denkt about me?" He asked in happy surprise. {what you think}

"Ja," she told him, still blushing a little. "Hezlieb." {loving heart or beloved heart}

Instead of replying, Kurt pulled her close and kissed her. They rolled a little so that they weren't quite so uncomfortable, ending with Kerri on her back and Kurt beside her, leaning over her a little.

Kerri's hands went to his face and held him there for a moment before her hand moved to go around his shoulder and hold him close. Kurt's hand went around her and slid up her back, his fingers brushing and rubbing the spot near her spine where her wings would come out.

She arched against him and her breath poured out. "Kurt," she gasped.

"See, zhere it is," he said, his tail flicking back and forth, his passion darkened eyes close to hers. She blushed hard and pushed his hand down toward her hip, embarrassed that she'd made that sound, but Kurt's lips turned up in a devilish smile, and his fingers drifted to the place her tail constantly grew from, massaging the tender spot.

"Ngnn..." Kerri's eyes half closed and her body arched to him as incoherent sounds came from her mouth.

She blushed harder when he stopped rubbing. "How in the- what the-" She was so confused and embarrassed at her reaction. "Let's see how you like it, hn?" She rolled and ended up straddling one of his legs, leaning down to kiss him as she found his tail. She found the spot she was looking for and rubbed in what she hoped was a sensuous way, continuing to kiss him deeply at the same time, and was rewarded with a groan he uttered against her lips.

She suddenly felt something as hard as concrete jabbing into her hip and pulled back. "What is that?" She murmured and started turning to look, her hand going to investigate.

Kurt's tail caught her hand and his hands pulled her back around to him, his legs managing to get away from her as he sat up, trying to hide the physical manifestation of his desires. "I- uh, I don't zhink you should do zhat, liebling..." He told her, his face almost glowing purple.

"Do what?" Kerri asked, blushing as she realized what had happened, but acting innocent. "What was I going to touch? I thought for sure that we must have rolled onto a tree branch."

"Ein zweig," he muttered. "Liebling, you are going to be zhe deazh of me, zhough by humor or embarrassment, I'm not sure." {a branch}

"What are you talking about? You're the one who started it, saying that you like hearing me moan..." Kerri blushed lightly as she laid at his side.

Kurt joined her, having successfully calmed down. "I didn't say zhat, aber, it's maybe, not, untrue..." {but}

Kerri smiled and put a hand on his cheek. Her smile fell as she looked into his eyes, though. "You know, we won't be able to do this during school. Scott wouldn't let Kitty and Piotr be together, even though Piotr wasn't a school staff, I hardly think he'd be any cooler about this, especially when he's so bent on being a jerk to me."

"Ja, zhat is true. Vell, about him not being cool vizh zhis, I don't know about zhe out to be a jerk to you," he replied. "But, ve can survive, it vill be a tough year, todsicher, but ve vill make es." {for sure}

"I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't even hold your hand for a whole year, seeing but not touching. It'll be like living in a chocolate factory but being allergic to chocolate," Kerri's eyes were downcast, but Kurt lifted her chin to place a gentile kiss on her lips.

"It vill be ok," he told her again. "It is really only eleven monzhs, und neizher vone of us has to stay silent zhe whole time. And even Kitty and Piotr vent off to kiss sometimes." He smiled and kissed her.

"I guess that's true," she conceded. "I guess it could be ok, even if we have to sneak around for a little bit."

* * *

"Happy day after your birthday!" Kitty told Kerri as she handed her four or five bags of clothes from her closet. "I wanted to say something so bad yesterday, but Kurt made me promise. Anyway, did you have a good birthday?"

"For the first time in half my life, yes. And I told you, Kitty, none of your clothes will fit me," she looked at the bags now in her hands.

"Well look through them anyway, you might find something you like, stick the rest in the clothing storage room if you want. I'm going to miss you!" She squealed as she threw her arms around Kerri.

"I'll miss you, too, you're my only friends here, you know," Kerri told her.

"What about Kurt?" Kitty asked as she pulled back.

"He's a teacher now, I can't be seen fraternizing with him. Seen being the operative word there."

Kitty smiled sadly and told her, "I'm not going to pretend it's easy, but it is better than not having him at all."

After they put the bags of clothes in Kerri's room, they went outside and found a group of people there to see Kitty and Piotr off; Kurt was there, of course, and so was Professor Xavier, all of the X-Men, and a couple of the students that hadn't already left the school.

It was made into a happy thing, everyone saying goodbye to Kitty and Piotr, telling them to write, and they'd better come back and visit, threatening to come find them to check up on them if they didn't.

Scott noticed that although Kerri and Kurt weren't all over each other like a teenage couple might be, they were discretely touching hands, even holding them for moments. His eyebrow quirked, thinking that Kerri was going to step all over the rules this year, too. But rules were rules, and teacher- student relationships were not permitted. And he was going to make damn sure the rules were followed.

* * *

The last of July and the first few weeks of August went quickly, filled with hidden kisses and secret moments, but finally it was time to get ready for school, and the few students who had gone somewhere else for the summer came back, starting to get settled in for the school year.

Kerri held her new schedule in her hand, excitement flowing through her. Her last class this trimester was going to be library aid, and she was happy that she got to sit in a room full of books, probably reading, for a whole period everyday. She knew it probably made her sound like a nerd. 'But if the shoe fits,' she thought.

She hurried to the library and to the back corner where she'd pulled a table last year because no one ever came back there, and found Kurt already there. She looked around quickly, but didn't see anyone, so she wrapped her arms around him, kissing him quickly and pulling away in case anyone did decide to investigate this far into the library.

"Hallo liebling, vhy are you so excited?" He asked, still holding her hand and feeling the emotion seeping out from her mental boundaries.

"Oh, sorry," she closed her eyes for a moment and reinforced the blocks that stopped her from either feeling everything or leaking emotion, influencing others. "Gute, uh, what is afternoon?" She asked.

"Nachmittag," he answered.

"Nach, mit, tag," she paused, then put it together, "gute nachmittag, herzlieb."

Kurt couldn't stop a smile from forming across his face, and his hand rose to cup her cheek as he leaned forward to kiss her again. "So, vhy are you so happy?"

"Starting tomorrow, I'm going to be a library aid, so I get to hang out with all of the books for a class period," she told him.

"Good for you," Kurt said, his hand squeezing hers.

A few rows away, behind a bookcase, a pair of rose colored sunglasses took in what was happening.

Scott turned, forgetting about the book he'd been looking for.

For the last few weeks he'd been trying to find them at it, but had found nothing. Jean had told him to let it go, that maybe they were obeying the rules. But now he had seen it with his own eyes.

* * *

The first day of school was over, finally, and Kurt sat in a chair next to the desk in the main area of the drama room.

"Here, you can file all de papers in dere, den put it away in de office cabinets," Gambit told him and headed out of the door.

Kurt started separating the few papers they'd had the students sign and started putting them in the file folders.

The door opened and Scott came in, leaning against the desk nonchalantly. "Hey, Kurt. How was your first day?" He asked.

"Not so bad, zhough it is strange to be at zhe desk instead of across from it," he answered.

"Good, good." Scott was quiet for a moment. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about, Kurt."

"Ja?" He asked, gathering more papers into folders.

"I know that last year you had, a sort of relationship with another student, Kerri Smith." He paused so long that Kurt looked up at him to see if he was going to continue. "I just wanted to check on that, because as I'm sure you know, it's against the rules for a student and a teacher to date. Even if they were already dating before one of them became a teacher. It could result in termination for the teacher and expulsion for the student, and I'm sure you wouldn't want that."

Kurt looked up at the X-Men's leader, understanding the threat. He looked like he was waiting for an answer, as well, and Kurt tried to think of something to tell him.

It didn't sit right with him to lie, and even if he did, everything after that would be a lie, piling on top of each other until they toppled over and buried them. "Ja, ve did have a relationship last year, und I do know about zhe rules," was all he said, but it seemed like enough for Scott, who nodded and walked toward the door.

As the door closed behind Scott, Kurt's heart pounded. He hadn't lied to him, but he felt like he was treading a dangerous road.

Maybe Kerri was right that he was keeping a tight eye on her. But then, why had he come to him, talking about rules and making sure they were followed? That just sounded like the Scott he knew.

One thing was for sure, though, he knew that Scott was watching them.

Maybe it would be better if they really were apart this year, no secret meetings in the library to steal a kiss, no sneaking to his high wire to practice and end up making out on the tree branch, trying not to bite her and fall out of the tree at the same time. At least that way they wouldn't get into trouble and get kicked out.

He couldn't think of any other job he could do except circus performer, and it wouldn't be right to get her expelled, then she wouldn't graduate, and what would she do after that?

Kurt sighed and put his head in his hands. He had to tell her, and find a way so Scott wasn't involved so she wasn't angry at him, since she already had a problem with the way he was. And how was he going to tell her without breaking her heart? She wasn't one to open easily, it had taken him almost all of last year to get her to open up, and he'd had Kitty and Piotr's help, which he wouldn't have this year.

* * *

Kerri stood in the woods, below the tree with Kurt's high wire in it, waiting for him to get there. She heard a twig snap, and spun to see what it was, her body reacting, waiting to see if she needed to attack or flee. But it was Kurt, walking towards her. "Kurt, why are you walking?" She asked, wondering why he hadn't teleported.

"I," he sighed, looking at the ground. "I needed some time to zhink."

"Oh?" Kerri felt her stomach clench in nervousness at his tone.

"Ja. Kerri, I zhink, zhat maybe- maybe ve should be separate."

"What?" Kerri asked, slightly confused at the sentence.

Kurt's eyes closed, and he felt like his heart was being squeezed in a vice.

He didn't want to say it at all, let alone over and over. "I zhink ve should break up."

Kerri stepped back, her breath was stolen from her chest, and she felt like she'd been punched. "W-what?"

"Kerri, please don't make me say es again," Kurt almost begged, a slightly pitiful tone edging his voice.

"You- you want to break up with me? I mean-" Kerri's eyes stung with tears and her throat felt like it was swelling.

"Nein, I don't, but it vould be besser, just so ve don't get into trouble-" {no, better}

Kerri cut him off, "We haven't gotten into trouble, we can make it, remember? You said we could make it, we just have to be cautious about it."

"Ja, aber," he tried to think of a way to leave Scott out of it. "Just to be safe, maybe..."

Kerri was staring at him, but her vision was blurred by tears. "Safe nothing," she said, " you just want to break up." She could feel her defences coming back, and she pulled them around her like a warm blanket.

"Just for zhe year, so you don't get expelled-" Kurt tried to explain, but she wasn't interested.

"If you wanted to break up with me, or you wanted to break my heart, you could do it without pretending it's to protect me," Kerri said angrily. She shifted to her "battle form," glad that she was wearing flip flops so her feet didn't ruin them as the fronts of them expanded into large taloned toes, her long tail whipped out through the hole in her pants, but the back of her shirt exploded out into shreds as her falcon's wings burst out.

She leapt into the sky, flying away from him, tears streaming down her face.

Kurt stood there for a moment before teleporting to his room. He looked around, seeing a few things neatly stacked on his desk, he angrily swept his tail forward knocking them violently to the floor before he climbed under the blankets on his bed and hid.


	2. Bits& pieces to get us where we're going

**[AN: Here's another chapter for you! It's a little scattered, but as I said before, I don't want to write a lot of 'boo hoo hoo, no one loves me... S/he won't be by me, s/he must hate me...' So this chapter covers about a month... lol. Also, keep in mind that Kerri has trouble trusting people, so she jumps to bad conclusions sometimes. Please enjoy, and feel free to message, review, or just read, and please don't hate me!]**

* * *

Kurt's alarm went of on the table next to his bed, but he was already awake, and his tail flew forward, knocking it from the table.

He was still upset about how it had turned out a week ago, when he'd told Kerri they shouldn't be together.

He was only looking out for them, and what was in their best interest for the future, but she had started crying and flown away, angry at him, refusing to believe that he only wanted to protect her.

Kurt got out of bed, reluctant to leave the covers, wanting to stay there and hide. His foot touched a piece of dirty clothing, and he kicked the offensive thing away, even though he was the one who had dropped it there, uncaringly messing up his normally always clean room. The only thing he cared about and wanted right now was Kerri, and he wasn't allowed to be with her.

He reached into his closet, taking clothing out at random and putting it on. He'd rather stay in bed and hide all year until he could be with Kerri again, but he had a job to learn how to do.

* * *

Kerri was sitting in the library behind the big, almost L -shaped desk.

She had a book in her hand, but she couldn't focus on it. She kept thinking about Kurt, and how she had reacted to what he had said to her.

She loved him, and he loved her, and he was right. It really would be safer if they didn't do anything together this year. She felt bad about how she had acted, feeling like she always looked like an idiot in front of him, especially when she was upset.

The drama class filed in, going to the play and poetry section of the library.

Gambit led them, talking about what they were supposed to do for the assignment, and she glanced up and away as Kurt passed her, her eyes full of regret.

She wanted to tell him she was sorry, that she'd had some time to cool down, and she understood better what he had been trying to say.

The rest of the class period dragged on as she waited to go talk to him.

Kurt stood in the back of the library, looking at the table he always met Kerri at. The good times they'd had at the table floated through his mind, making him even more down as the bell rang.

He didn't even realize that one of the students was trying to talk to him for a moment.

"Professor, are you ok?" She asked.

Kurt looked at her, tuning back into reality.

She was about three inches shorter than him, with shoulder length dark brown hair, bright hazel eyes, and lips that were always painted red. He tried to remember her name, Jill, Jane, Allie, Mellissa?

She was new this year, so he'd only known her for about a week.

"Ja, I am ok, vhat do you need help vizh?" He put on a smile, trying not to scare away the student.

"We~ll," she smiled and tilted her chin down a little, looking up at him cutely. "I was wondering; this part," she pointed to a line in the book she was holding, leaning close to him. "The guy is saying, "oh how lovely the face, like the sun glowing, radiating it's happiness on to me," but what does that mean?"

Kurt looked at her book, and told her, "he is saying how beautiful zhe voman he loves is and how happy he is vhen he looks at her."

"Oh, you're so smart, no wonder they made you a teacher." She smiled and giggled, putting her hand on his forearm, making him glad he was wearing a long sleeved shirt, so she couldn't feel the fuzziness of his arm. He smiled kindly and put his hand on hers, gently pushing it off of him.

Kerri had stopped, seeing Kurt and a student talking, wanting to let them finish so she could have him all to herself. But now, she could feel agitation rising as she saw the girl flirting with him.

It wasn't really that she was flirting with him, it was the way he looked down at her hand on his arm, smiling and putting his hand on hers.

Kerri turned and stormed away, her fluffy wolf tail angrily lashing about and her large wolfy ears laying back on her head as soon as she walked past someone that the image could bounce off of and manifest.

She marched straight down to the Danger room, finding Logan about to go in, and asked him, "Can I go in, or are you having a practice?"

"You got some fighting you need to do, Kid?" He asked her. She nodded and he let her in, going up to the control booth. "What do you need, Kid?"

"Just a punching bag," she told him. She waited, pacing slightly, while he typed codes and protocols, and a large punching bag appeared.

She punched the bag over and over, hard, viciously. Her fang like teeth gritted, her jaw clenched tight in anger.

'I can't date a student, you'll get into trouble, it's only for this year... She's a student,' Kerri raged in her head. 'She's new, but definitely a student. And a junior,' she realized. 'Wow, seems pretty similar to when I got here, is that how he gets his kicks?! Coming on to new juniors and making them think he loves them?! Or did he think he was leaving after last year, so he didn't have to worry about how to deal with being around me?' Her slightly longer, but definitely sharper nails had tore open the bag and she was just tearing at it now, throwing stuffing everywhere.

That night was the first time in a long time that Kerri didn't leave her room. Instead of going out, she sat and watched outside, wrapped in her blankets.

Her anger had faded, but she was still upset, mostly depressed, questioning if Kurt had ever loved her, if any of the things he had said to her were true.

The morning came, and she was still sitting next to the window, asleep against the wall.

Kurt on the other hand, was a pile of blankets on his bed, again hiding from the world, wishing he could give in and be with Kerri.

At least it was Saturday, though, and he didn't have to leave his room all day.

* * *

Kerri had gotten up and went on her way to the store to do the grocery shopping, but stopped at the mall. She wasn't sure exactly why, she just felt like being there.

She went in, wandering around, ending up at the arcade. She walked through the door, feeling a little more comfortable in the dark noisy room.

Kerri wandered through the arcade, playing a few games. She was playing a fighting game when someone came close and started watching her.

"Mind if I join in?" He asked.

She turned and recognized him, but couldn't quite remember his name. "Sure."

He popped in a quarter and they fought. He wasn't much of a challenge for her, and when he lost he let go of the controls and turned to her. "Fighting games were never really my strong suit."

She looked the three or four inches up at him as he brushed his shaggy, dishwater blonde hair out of his brown eyes. "Why did you come and challenge me, then?"

"To have an excuse to talk to you. You don't remember me, do you?" He asked.

"Sorry, I'm just bad with names," she told him.

"Chance," he told her.

"Kerri," she reached forward and shook his offered hand.

"So, I don't see your boyfriend here," he commented.

"Yeah, we, uh, we broke up," Kerri admitted, leaving out all of the complicated, confusing details.

"That's too bad," Chance said, although she could tell by his voice that he wasn't entirely sorry about it. "So are you here with a friend or something?"

Kerri could tell what he was trying to get at. "No, no quarter runners today," she told him.

Chance nodded, then looked around for a second. "I could run for you, or... You still owe me that game of DDR, you wanna play?"

She knew he was hitting on her, but she went with him anyway. It wasn't like he was asking her out on a date, and she did want to play DDR.

They played a few games, after which she looked at the watch she kept in her pocket. "Sorry, I have to go, I've got grocery shopping to do."

"Ok. Are you coming back next week?" He asked, not pressing her.

"Yeah, probably," she told him and left.

On the next Saturday Kerri was at the mall, in the arcade, playing a video game, when Chance found her. "Hi, glad to see you came, Kerri."

"Hi," she repeated back.

"Chance," he said.

"Yes, I remember," she told him.

"So, do you want to play something?" He asked.

"Ok," she told him, and they found a game to co-op on.

That night she sat on her bed, a long skinny shoe box next to her, a picture in her hand. It was one of the pictures from the formal the last year; she and Kurt were standing together, his fingers were on her cheek, holding it as he kissed her on the other cheek. Her eyes were a little wide in surprise, and she remembered the shock and joy that had flooded through her.

He was so kind and wonderful...

How could she think that he would be capable of what she'd thought before?

* * *

Kurt heard a knocking on the door, but he didn't answer, the knocking continued until the person gave up. The door was opened and he heard someone enter. "Vhat do you vant?" He asked.

Ororo stood by the door. "Kurt, no one has seen you since Friday, you need to eat. Please come down." He shifted in the blankets, but didn't answer. "Kurt, maybe you should talk to someone about what you are going through."

"I can't," he said. "I can't talk about es." 'I vill get Kerri and myself into trouble...' He thought miserably.

Ororo sighed and left, going to Charles's office.

* * *

Kerri was in Professor Xavier's office, sitting on her usual couch. She still had a class with him, or at least, what they called a class, it was still really more like therapy.

"You look a little better than you did last week, Kerri," he told her. "But you still seem to be coiled tightly. Are you sure you don't want to talk with me about it?"

"I can't." Her eyes were on the floor as she told him. "Not to you. Not to the person I want to talk to. I have no friends to tell."

"Kerri, I'm sure that if you talk to people they would like you, you could make friends," he told her.

"It's not that. If I made a friend, I still wouldn't be able to tell them. It's- just... Hard to trust people. Especially with this."

"Have you tried talking to Kitty about it? I'm sure she would love to hear from you," he assured her.

Kerri shook her head. "I- I have a hard time on the phone. And Kitty is busy with college, it's harder, you know, more demanding."

Charles took a deep breath and exhaled it. "Well, you know, many people who feel they have no one to talk to keep a journal, or a diary." Kerri nodded. "You could get one with a lock, and at least you'd have somewhere to put your thoughts," he suggested.

* * *

Kerri was starting to feel depressed, she had been feeling that way all week.

She was in the library, sitting behind the desk, staring at the book in her hands.

She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be with Kurt. She wanted to tell him she was sorry, that she still loved him, that it was ok, that she'd wait, that she wasn't mad at him.

But she couldn't.

Maybe she was paranoid, but she thought that Scott still had it out for her. He was probably watching her every move, just waiting for her to put one toe out of line.

So she had to wait until they were together for some other reason to talk to him.

Which made her feel even more depressed.

* * *

Kerri went to the arcade on Saturday, she was playing a fighting game, but she wasn't feeling into it.

Chance found her and joined in the fight. "So how are you today?" He asked as they fought.

"Ok," she told him. She won, but lost against the next computer.

They wandered around, playing games, and, as if he could sense that she needed a little time, Chance told her about himself, his likes, dislikes, only prodding a little when he asked about her, letting her come out at her own pace.

After a while, Kerri ran out of quarters, and Chance asked if she wanted to get a drink, so they walked to the food court.

They sat at a table and Kerri sipped at her water.

"I could get you a drink, you know," Chance told her.

"No, it's ok, I like water, it's good for you." But mostly it was because that sounded a little like a date.

There was silence for a moment. "So, how long have you and your ex been apart?"

Kerri looked up at him, startled. "We- well, I guess it's been about a month," she told him.

He nodded, taking a drink from his straw, but she didn't continue. "How long were the two of you together?"

Kerri looked down at the table, chewing the straw in her cup. She hardly knew him, but she felt like she could talk to him, and he was completely separate from the situation...

Maybe she could talk to him about it, she might feel better...

"We, um, liked each other for a while first, then he asked me out and," she paused as she counted. "About five months."

"Wow, that's a while," Chance said, and she made a noncommittal noise in answer. He played with the straw in his drink. "So, do you think you're ready to get back on the horse?"

Kerri looked up at him, confused. "What?"

"Do you want to go on a date with me?" He asked more simply.

"Oh, I- no, I'm not ready yet," Kerri told him.

As she walked through the checkout at the grocery store later, she thought about how much going on a date with Chance would feel like cheating on Kurt.

She wasn't interested in Chance anyway, but it seemed like she should be, somehow; they had a lot in common. And she could tell that he liked her; every time she told him she had to go, he asked if she was going to be there the next week.

* * *

Kurt sat in front of the drama class, listening as Gambit taught about the way you read a line. He was really trying to focus, but he could only give it half of his attention, the other half was stuck moping still.

If only he hadn't taken this job, then he could be with her, kissing her, touching her, loving her...

But that was ridiculous; if he hadn't taken this job, where would he work, and how would he support them when she graduated?

The bell rang, and the class filed out, leaving him and Gambit there, until Gambit went into the office to grab another stack of papers, then it was just him.

Kurt gathered all of the papers the students had handed in as they left, and someone came back in. He looked up to see the girl from the library, Capra.

"Hi, sorry, I left my bag," she smiled and went to her chair, grabbing her purse. She took longer than necessary as she came back down and handed him her paper. "I forgot that, too." Kurt took the paper and put it in the stack with the others. "Professor Wagner, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he told her, setting the stack of papers on the desk.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

Kurt's eyes widened in surprise, and he answered, trying not to reveal his sad feelings. "N-nein... Not anymore..."

"Really? A handsome man like you?" She was smiling at him, lingering.

Kurt felt a little uncomfortable, after being with Kerri for a year, telling him she liked him better without his image inducer, and the few girls before her, who liked him until they saw what he really looked like, it was like people who said he looked good with his image inducer on were saying they preferred the image inducer.

Gambit walked back in from the office, and Capra waved cutely, turning and leaving.

* * *

Kerri was sitting against the wall outside of the school.

She knew she was just moping, but she also knew that she had to be smart about how she went about what she wanted to do next.

In the morning she went to her classes, sitting through class and doing her work.

She walked into the library for last period, and was glad to see the note Dr. McCoy had left for her on the desk; 'I am doing some work in the science lab, the drama class is coming in to have class.'

She was finally going to have her chance to talk to Kurt.

She waited through the class, waiting for the bell to ring, it felt like forever. Finally, a few minutes before the bell would ring, Kerri stood, picking up the books that needed to be shelved and walked into the shelves.

She stopped near the end of the aisle and searched for the call numbers to replace the book in her hand, but stopped as she heard voices.

Kurt was standing at the back of the library, a little away from the class.

Capra walked over to him, holding a book in her hands. "Professor, can you help me?"

"Ja, sure," he said, turning to the student, who had been following him around for most of the class period.

"This part in this play, can you explain what's happening?"

Kurt suppressed a sigh and put on what he hoped was a kind smile, even though he was getting agitated with her constant presence. He leaned closer to read, as she held the book close to her, and explained it to her.

Kerri poked her head around the shelf and saw Kurt.

He was standing with the same girl she had seen him with before. He was leaning close to her, almost looking over her shoulder at the book in her hands.

In the perfect position to stare right down her shirt.

Anger rose in her, making her muscles tense and her hand slide the book onto the shelf a little too roughly.

Kurt heard a noise, hoping it was Kerri, he excused himself from Capra and went toward it.

He saw Kerri glowering at the books and stopped. "Kerri," he wasn't sure what to say, only that he was glad to see her and that the urge to hold her was driving him mad.

She searched for where the next book went, glaring at the numbers. "What?"

"I'm glad to see you..." He told her, a strained tone in his voice.

"Mmmm," she hummed, disbelievingly.

"I am... I'm sorry, Kerri, I know zhat zhis is hard on you, it's hard on me, too," he told her.

"Yeah, I saw, with your new junior over there. So hard. She's why you wanted to break up, right?" She spat.

"Vas? Nein! Liebling, I vould never-"

Kerri cut him off, slapping the last book in her hand onto the edge of the shelf, her tail and ears appearing, angrily back against her head, as she turned to him, baring her clenched fang like teeth. "Please excuse me, sir, but aren't you being a little too familiar with me? Lehrer?" She asked with as much deadly calm as she could manage. {teacher}

"Kerri, don't, I lo-" He tried to tell her as the bell rang over head.

She clenched her hands, hurt that he was going to use that, not wanting to hear him. As soon as the bell rang, she turned and stormed away, too angry for her tail to even move around.

She went straight to the Danger room, but someone was in there, so she went to her room and paced.

How could he? He was with that girl again. He was standing really close to her.

Although she supposed that they were broken up, so it wasn't technically cheating, but it still felt like betrayal. After all, he'd said he loved her, made her love him.

Her thoughts must be true, he must have dumped her to go out with a new student...

Kurt teleported to his room, hurt. Kerri didn't want to see him, she wouldn't hear him, she wouldn't be near him...

He climbed onto the bars above his bed and his tail started flicking back and forth in agitation.

He knew that she was upset, he was upset, too, but there was nothing he could do about it. And he'd almost told her he loved her, which would get them into trouble.


	3. Kerri's date

**[AN: Merry Christmas! Or other celebrated holiday! I hope you're all not running away from the story because it's so terrible how Kerri and Kurt can't be together...Or how in this chapter something happens... Anyway, here it is, please enjoy! Feel free to review, message, or just read! And flames are accepted and understood lol.]**

* * *

All week Kerri felt her hurt and anger bubbling inside of her.

She tried to breathe and push it out of her mind. It was a tactic she'd been practicing for a while, using it as a way to help control her emotions so they didn't try to push out as physical manifestations with her powers.

On Friday, the drama class was in the library again, but Kerri almost couldn't stand to be there.

Every time Kurt looked like he was getting close to the desk, Kerri found something else to do; going to the bathroom, putting books on the shelves, ducking down and pretending to have something on the shelves under the desk to do, she almost ran out as the bell rang.

She couldn't help but feel conflicted; she still felt a deep emotional attachment to Kurt, she felt angry, she felt betrayed, and she felt like she should hate him, but she couldn't, not with her heart still loving him.

She went to her room, throwing her books onto her desk and laying on her bed. After a while she took out the shoe box and looked at the pictures again.

She felt tears trying to roll down her cheeks, but she wiped them away.

She looked at the pictures for a while, but became disgusted with herself for not being able to tell which things were a lie and which weren't.

She threw the pictures back into the box and kicked the box under the bed.

She knew it didn't help that she wouldn't listen to Kurt, but she was afraid; what if what he was saying was the lie?

Kurt hung upside down from the bars above his bed.

Between his large fingers was a photo, he knew Kerri had the same photos from the formal dance last year, but he wondered if she ever looked at them.

His finger ran down her pictured cheek, wishing he could do the same to the real Kerri.

Kurt stayed in bed again on Saturday, huddled under the blankets, and didn't leave until Professor Xavier called him to his office.

"Kurt, please have a seat. I understand that you have been in your room for weekends and you haven't been eating." Kurt was silent, after all, what could he say to refute the truth? "Your friends are worried about you." Charles paused to let this sink in before continuing, "Ororo also said that you think you can't talk about it."

"I can't," he said simply.

Charles sighed internally, thinking of a way to word the next part so that he wasn't specifically telling Kurt to break the rules. "How are you doing with the drama classes?" Kurt looked up at him, confusion written on the image his inducer projected. He continued, "I know this is the first time you've taught a class, and I can understand how tough it can be, but you're only a _student_ teacher, don't feel pressured to do every thing right all the time; you are still learning."

"Ok, Professor," he told him, but Charles wondered if he had understood.

* * *

Kerri was at the mall again, walking to the arcade, when she saw a familiar silver head down the hall a ways. "Quicksilver, that stupid..." she muttered, remembering when he and a few other of the brotherhood mutants had attacked the school at the end of last year.

She personally had fought him, they had bruised each other up quite a bit, and the blade like spine on her tail had cut his hand a little, but with neither of them having super strength in their list of abilities, bruising was about all they'd done.

Except that he'd hit on her like a jackass a couple of times as they fought.

Chance found her, beating the pulp out of the computer on her usual fighting game. "Whoa, kicking butt. You look like you feel better," he commented as she nodded to acknowledge his presence.

"Yeah, beating the crap out of pretend people always makes me feel better," she told him, thinking, 'danger room included.'

They wandered around, playing games, and after a while, Chance asked if she wanted to go get a drink in food court. They walked down there and he let Kerri go first. She got a water, he a Mountain Dew, and they sat at a table.

"You really like water, huh?" He teased her, but not in an unfriendly way.

"Mostly just chewing the straw," she told him, showing him the beginnings of a mangled straw.

He laughed and took a drink. "You're funny, Kerri. It's fun to hang out with you." Kerri took a sip from her water to hide the small smile on her lips, thinking it was strange to find someone who thought she was funny. "Do you go grocery shopping every week?" He asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Why? Does your family get paid every week or something?"

"No, I live at a sort of boarding school. Everyone helps out, and if you do extra jobs, you can earn a little pocket money. So I do the grocery shopping to get money to come to the arcade and buy books and stuff."

"Wow, that's kinda cool. How many people are there?" He asked, seeming to really be interested.

"Well, there are about a hundred and seventy five people altogether, but some of them live at home, and that includes all of the staff," she told him.

"That's a lot of shopping, no wonder you go every week."

"Mm-hm." She took a drink and chewed on the straw.

"And you come here before you shop, right?" He continued his line of questioning.

She nodded. "Don't want the frozen stuff to melt."

"Makes sense, I guess." He swirled his drink. "Darn."

"Why?" She asked, still chewing the straw.

"Well, I was going to ask if I could give you a ride next week, but if you have to go shopping..." He trailed off.

He wanted to give her a ride? Where did that make sense, except in, "You mean like a date?" He nodded, and her thoughts went back to Kurt.

Her immediate reaction was to tell him she had a boyfriend, but that wasn't true anymore. Then her thoughts went back to the library, and that junior who's name she hadn't bothered to learn. She kept finding them together, and there was definitely flirting going on.

She could feel her agitation rising again. She didn't want to care, caring meant that you hurt. She didn't want to hurt. She didn't want to care. The best way to do that was probably to get over it, to not care anymore.

It wasn't like she and Kurt were together, he had another girl, so he was probably over her...

Her eyes tried to tear up, but she refused to let them. She didn't want to be one of those girls who couldn't get over being dumped.

Maybe she _should_ go out with Chance, to try to get over Kurt.

"Ok. I can do the shopping before, so don't worry about it."

* * *

Kurt was sitting at the desk in the drama room, grading papers, when Gambit came and sat next to him in a chair asking, "So tell me, mon ami, how's it goin' wit your fillie?"

Kurt looked up at him from the papers. "Vell, you know zhat students und teachers can't date..."

"Oui, but you a student teacher," Gambit told him.

"Still a teacher," he said, looking at the papers to hide his face.

"You shouldn't give up, how else you get de girl?" He asked, making Kurt look up at him.

"Vhat do you mean? I vould get fired, and she vould get expelled, zhat vouldn't help us..."

"Well, you know Gambit don't give up on Rouge, never, and one day, she say yes. That why Gambit leavin' after this year, he and Rouge leavin' to be together. You shouldn' give up neither. You give up she migh' just leave," he told his student.

"Ja, aber, zhere vould be too much trouble..." Kurt hung his head and looked at the papers. "I haven't even been able to talk to her, zhere has been no chance."

"Well, we fix dat," Gambit told him.

* * *

Kerri sat in the library, watching the drama class file in, again.

They'd been there for the last three days. She looked over at them and saw Kurt coming up to the desk. She looked around, but she could see nothing to pretend to do, and her expression turned sour as her body betrayed her, wanting to leap up and kiss him, hold him against her desperately, run her hands over his soft blue- No! She needed to stop thinking about that.

Kurt got to the desk and stopped in front of Kerri. She felt flustered as Dr. McCoy abandoned her, leaving her at the desk by herself with a smile and a chuckle.

Kurt took a breath, looking a little nervous. "Kerri... How are you today?"

"Fine," she answered, her heart aching as she tried to stay mad at him.

"Kerri, I vish I could tell you how I feel, aber, you know, zhe rules..." He trailed off.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Professor, of course, our relationship should be only that of a teacher and a student." She kept her voice as even as she could.

"Kerri, please don't be angry vizh me," he said, starting the conversation he'd had in his mind at least a thousand times, but he was interrupted by Capra coming up to him.

"Professor, can you please help me with the project?" She asked sweetly, fingering the tips of her hair.

Kerri's face turned even more sour at the girl's obvious flirting with him, right in front of her, seeming to her to show Kurt's words as a lie. "Why don't you go teach your student something, lehrer," she told him, a snide tone not quite hidden in her voice. {teacher}

Kurt looked at her for another moment before answering, "Alles fur dich, schatz." He turned and followed Capra to the table with her project on it, and Kerri's heart throbbed in pain. {anything for you, schatz takes explaining, you can look it up, or learn it with Kerri later}

'I don't care,' she tried to tell herself. 'I don't care, and I don't care that I don't know what he called me... Probably something rude anyway...'

* * *

Kerri got back from the store and went about putting the groceries away quickly so she would be finished before Chance arrived.

There was a commotion behind her as Logan stood abruptly and walked out of the kitchen, leaving his beer on the table.

She followed him, knowing his reaction to a threat.

Dr. McCoy stood next to the front doors and greeted them. "Hello, Logan, Kerri. Have you come to greet our visitor, too?"

"Visitor?" Kerri asked.

"Yes, I opened the gate for a boy named Chance, he said he had a date with one of our students, and I wanted to make sure he found the right student."

"You saying you think he's making it up?" Logan asked gruffly.

"He's my date," Kerri said before he could answer. They both looked at her, saying nothing. "What? I'm not the creature from the Black Lagoon, I can get a date... One of the saddest love stories ever, by the way," she added to Dr. McCoy as she walked out through the doors.

"Indeed," he answered as Logan suddenly looked up and behind him a ways.

"The Elf," he said.

"Yes, I thought... He certainly won't be happy about that..."

"I von't be happy about vhat?"

Dr. McCoy sighed and told Logan, "More prepositions would be helpful next time."

"Who is zhat?" Kurt asked as he looked out of the window next to the door.

"A boy named Chance," Dr. McCoy said.

Kurt watched as Kerri walked toward the green and blue van with orange on the side. He had left his room, making sure he was seen to make a show for everyone that he was ok so they'd leave him alone, but instead he saw Kerri going somewhere with another man.

Jealousy grew in him, but he felt helpless to do anything about it.

He wanted to go out there and grab Kerri by the shoulders, kissing her until she forgot about this other boy, but he couldn't, he had to let her go with him. His hands were tied by the rules.

Logan put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Elf, how 'bout I teach you something that will actually be useful in the real world."

Kerri walked towards the van as Chance stepped out. "You drive the Mystery Machine?! That's so cool!" She told him.

"You think so? Most girls think it's not cool to drive a van," he said.

"Yeah, and most girls wanted to be Daphine," she said as she rolled her eyes.

They got into his van and drove off, heading to the mall.

They played video games for a couple of hours, then headed to the food court. Chance wouldn't let her pay for anything, saying that it was a date, and he'd asked, so he was paying.

On the way back to the school, Chance pulled into the parking lot of a small shop selling ice cream. He bought them each a cone, and they sat on a bench outside to eat them.

He was really a sweet guy, and they had a good time, playfully arguing different points about zombies and the ever present threat of a zombie apocalypse, what anime was best, best Godzilla fight...

Just being herself in general was a great feeling for Kerri. The only things she held back were that she was a mutant, and so were the other people at the school.

Kerri was wiping off her hands with a napkin when Chance asked, "Did you have fun today, Kerri?"

"Yes, it was fun to hang out with you," she answered, holding onto the edge of the bench and smiling humorously as she watched someone notice his van.

"Good, because I, um, wanted to be a little forward, but I wanted to make sure you were having a good time first," he told her.

Her brow knitted in confusion and she turned to look at him, about to ask what he meant, just in time for him to quickly peck her on the lips.

Surprise passed through her briefly, washed out by confusion.

She'd talked to people about kissing before, and it seemed that kissing was usually a nice feeling, unless you got someone who was bad at it, like the first boy who'd kissed her, then it was gross.

But she'd felt nothing just now...

She wondered for a second if they hadn't done it right, but she always felt something when Kurt kissed her, even when he just brushed his lips against hers...

She leaned forward to him, pressing her lips against his more firmly and held them there for a moment longer, just to make sure, but the confusion was written on her face when she pulled away.

"I see I'm not the only one being forward today," Chance said with a grin, but it fell when he saw her face. "Oh man, don't tell me you didn't feel anything?"

Kerri's eyes shifted away. "Sorry," she told him.

Chance put a hand on her jaw. "Wait, I wasn't really trying, I know I can do better than a sad little peck on the lips if you let me."

She thought for a moment. It wasn't like she was cheating on anyone, she was free agent, and it couldn't really hurt anything to kiss him, and maybe she'd find out if she could feel anything with anyone other than Kurt...

"O-ok..."

Chance put the knuckles of his other hand against his jaw and brushed them along her skin as his hand slid to cradle her head. He slowly leaned in, his lips pressing against hers softly at first, then he parted them to touch her tongue. He was slow, gentle, but also confident and firm, like he was tasting her whole mouth, making it a long, soft, romantic kiss. He pulled back slowly, continuing the kiss until they separated.

Their eyes opened and he smiled.

It wasn't a bad kiss; it wasn't gross and wet and he wasn't suffocating her with his tongue. He was slow and lavish, giving attention to every detail of her mouth, in a way that would only make sense if he was enjoying doing it.

He was a nice guy and a good kisser, which only made her feel worse that she still felt nothing.

Chance's smile fell when he saw the look on her face. "Still didn't feel anything?" He asked.

Kerri looked at the ground. "Sorry..."

"Wow, he really did a number on you, huh?"

"I guess so," she muttered.

They got back to the school and he pulled to a stop in the driveway.

"Listen, Kerri," he said as she went to get out. "It's ok, I understand that it takes a while to get over someone sometimes, but I still really like you, and I can wait a while to have you all to myself, I think."

Kerri smiled sadly, not wanting to crush his hopes, but the words he was saying rang a bell; Kurt saying that he'd wait as long as he needed to to kiss her.

Maybe she'd eventually get over him...

One day...

"See you next week?" She nodded to him and he asked, "Can I pick you up then, too?"

"Well, it was fun riding in the Mystery Machine... Maybe we could find a mystery to solve next time," she joked.

"Like, zoiks! I'll bring my dog," he joked back.

She waved as he pulled away and walked up the drive to the front door. She went up to her room and pulled out the shoe box from under her bed.

She flopped onto her bed and stared at the picture of her and Kurt.


	4. Misjudged

**[AN: Yes, getting three today! Happy Holidays! By the title I'm sure you can guess that someone is going to misjudge someone else. In truth there is more than one! See if you can find them all lol, just like Pokemon! Anyway, here's the chapter, I hope you enjoy it, feel free to review, message, or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri hadn't been to the danger room in a few days, and she could feel it; she had an urge to run around and jump on things that was strange, and the urge to dig things, rip them up, scatter them about...

She sat in Professor Xavier's office, her foot wiggling back and forth quickly, chewing on her fingernails, but trying not to bite them off.

"Are you ok, Kerri?" He asked her, watching the fast pace of her foot.

"Yeah, just, I don't know... Rambunctious... Can I go swimming? By myself, I mean... I don't want to knock anyone over if I change..."

"I suppose you could go at night, as long as you tell the night monitor or Logan what you're doing. Other than that, I think the pool would be full of students; it's still quite warm outside," he told her.

She nodded, and tried to stop biting her nails.

"I heard you had a date," he commented, trying to get her talking again, and wondering about the relationship between her and Kurt.

"Jeez, word gets around fast here..." Kerri complained.

Charles chuckled. "Well, it is like a house that is full of children. And humans have always been interested in each other's lives to some degree."

"True, I suppose. I also suppose you want to sift through my date with some psychobabble jargon to see how well adjusted I am," she said.

"Are you saying there's something that did, or didn't, happen that you want to talk about?"

Kerri stared at the floor. "No, not particularly. It was nice though... I did miss having someone normal to talk to, you know, who you didn't have to worry if they were going to lynch you or if their powers were compatible with yours..." Charles smiled and let her continue at her own pace. "I mean, not that I've had to worry about meshing powers much, except with the nightmares, but I know there are people who have."

"So, this young man you went on a date with, he was a normal human?"

"Yes, so far as I know. He didn't say otherwise, but then, neither did I, I guess," she admitted.

"Why didn't you tell him?" He asked.

"It didn't seem important. We're all just people, that's what my dad taught me, anyway," she said.

He smiled. "That's what I keep telling all of the other students, and all of the people in the government, however, they are not as open to it."

"Of course not, you probably won't be able to make much headway until the next generation, that's always the way with bigotry."

* * *

Kurt laid in his bed, surrounded by blankets, glad that it was at least Saturday. He didn't want to get up and see anyone, but a short while later Logan came and dragged him down to the garage to teach him more about mechanics.

"Hey Elf, you want to talk about it?" Logan asked out of nowhere, shocking Kurt.

"About vhat?"

"You know what. Just thought you could do with getting something off of your chest, and we're here," he said, not quite finishing the thought.

"I can't talk to anyvone about es," Kurt told him.

"Bullshit."

"E-excuse me?" Kurt asked, almost dropping the wrench in his hand.

"Bullshit," Logan repeated. "You can talk to me about it, you know I'm not going to go running to that little mama's boy about anything."

A hint of a smile appeared on Kurt's face. It was strange how Kerri and Logan thought so similarly about Scott even though they hardly spent time together when they weren't training. "I can count on zhat as a fact," he said with a laugh.

* * *

Kerri walked out to Chance's van as he pulled up.

She wondered what had happened to Dr. McCoy that had put that look on his face, like he was looking at a specimen as she walked past him to the door.

Kerri climbed into the van and they drove off to the arcade.

It was fun, even though Kerri had worried a little that it would be awkward after having kissed last week.

They went around, playing, laughing, beating each other, it was like having a real friend again, one that she didn't have to worry about being different around.

They left the arcade, headed to the food court, when a familiar voice stopped them.

"Hey pretty lady." Kerri looked to the source of the voice and saw Quicksilver.

Her face tightened in anger, remembering the fight. Chance followed her gaze to the silver headed boy and looked questioningly to her. "You know him?"

"Unfortunately," she answered.

Quicksilver walked closer to them, but still stood a distance away from her, in case she wanted to attack first and answer questions later. "Nice to see you again." Kerri didn't say anything in reply to him. "Come on, this is common ground, you're not going to be so rude are you?"

Chance looked at Kerri's face and saw the stiff mask there. "How about you leave her alone," he said to the new comer.

"Stay out of this, guy, I'm talking to the lady." Kerri could tell that it was paining him to speak and move so slowly.

"She doesn't look like she wants to talk to you," Chance said, taking a step forward as if to defend her honor.

The movement struck a chord with Kerri, reminding her of how Kurt had stepped in front of her, more than once, in the danger room, making a move to protect her...

Her eye twitched in sadness and loss at the memory.

"What would you know? You don't even know her," Quicksilver said. "I bet she hasn't told you-"

"How's your hand?" Kerri suddenly asked, interrupting him with a warning in her steely voice.

"It's ok, not even a scar," he told her, a cocky smile on his face. Chance looked back at her, and something about the angry but worried expression made him silent. "He's a human, right?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Chance asked.

"Is that what this is about?" Quicksilver ignored the fact that Chance had spoken while he nodded toward him. "Trying to get back at your boyfriend?"

"How does everyone know about that?!" Kerri hissed under her breath and sternly said, "I'm not."

He ignored her. "You know, you could probably stick it to him harder if you went out with me, you know, another mutant."

Chance's eyes widened and he stepped back. "What are you saying?"

"I knew it, you didn't tell him," he accused her, then stared at Chance. "I'm saying that I'm a mutant, and so is her last boyfriend." Chance looked at her and back at him, but didn't say anything. "Not saying that she is, though."

Kerri was silent, agitated that he had let Kurt's cat out of the bag. Chance turned to look at her again. "What? Is that true?" He asked when she didn't say anything.

"Yes," she told him quietly.

Confusion was written on his face, then anger. "Is that why you couldn't feel anything when I kissed you? You only have a taste for mutants, is that it?" Kerri was silent as he questioned her, shock and anger in his voice while disgust tried to edge in as well. "What are you, some kind of checkerboard girl that only dates mutants to make some sort of political statement?"

She had been compartmentalizing, going away, like she used to when she was being yelled at by her stepfather for hours at a time. But the last question brought her back.

Angry tears started to build behind her eyes, and her hand snapped forward, slapping Chance hard enough to turn his head. "How dare you. I love Kurt... I mean loved..." She looked down at the floor, unsure and confused by her emotions. The protectiveness and love for Kurt, the want to push him away and protect herself. "I would never, could never, ever do that... Not to him..."

Chance looked back to her. He stared hard for a moment, then walked away.

Kerri gritted her teeth, trying not to let her tail and ears out. "It was a mistake," she said to no one in particular, not even realizing that quite a few people had gathered around them. 'It was a mistake to think I could have a friend...'

Quicksilver put his arm around her and led her away from the crowd, out into the parking lot. As soon as they were away from everyone, Kerri pushed him away, losing control over her ears and tail as she did. "Don't touch me. You ruined everything."

_"I_ ruined everything?" He looked at her and sped close to her other side. "You're the one who didn't tell him you're a mutant. _I'm_ not the one who's pretending to be something I'm not."

She looked up at him. "I'm not pretending I'm something I'm not! I'm a person, and I like video games, and I wish I had a friend! So I was wandering around with a friend playing video games, tell me what part of that is a lie!" She tried to push him away again but he dodged, moving to her other side too fast to see.

"You didn't tell him you were a mutant, that's a lie."

"It isn't, I never said I wasn't one, it's just not that big of a deal! We're all people, and everyone's already different anyway, it's just one more difference!" Kerri's fight was burning out.

She felt dizzy all of a sudden and realized that it was about dinner time, but that she had been so busy trying to get the shopping done to go out that she hadn't eaten at all yet.

Quicksilver caught her as she stumbled. "What's wrong with you?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

"Let go of me, I'm just a little dizzy," she demanded, but he didn't let go.

"If I let go of you, you're going to fall over." Her stomach growled and he looked down then back to her face. "Have you eaten at all today?"

"I forgot," she said stubbornly.

He rolled his eyes. "Forgot, . Come on, I've got something in my car, I'm sure."

They walked to his car, a little blue sporty thing, and he sat her in the passenger seat while he dug out a box of energy bars. He sat in the drivers seat, forcing the food item into her hand. "You look like you're about to pass out. Come on, I know Xavier and your little boyfriend aren't going to be happy if I drop you off unconscious at the gates."

"He's not my boyfriend anymore," she told him sullenly. "I'm a student and he's a teacher. And Scott's a giant tightass! If you put a piece of coal up his ass, you'd have a diamond in a week," she quoted _Ferris Buller's day off_ as her agitation at Scott came out. She wasn't even sure exactly why he irritated her so much. 'Must remind me of my stepfather, or something,' she thought.

Quicksilver laughed, and she looked over at him, wondering at the strange sound. It was quick, but not so different from normal laughter. "That'sfunny! I've never heard anyone except Mystique talk that way about him."

Kerri looked away, irritated. "Don't compare me to her."

He looked over at her, still smiling. "Sorry. I don't like her either. She's such a, Idon'tknow. Tightass, I guess. I don't think she ever has fun, just plans and plots to go be a psycho somewhere new."

"How can you talk about her that way?" Kerri asked. "I thought she was your teammate."

"Eat that, would you? And no. I'm only with them because I owe Magneto my life. Me and my sister. It's like we're indentured servants; he saved us, and now we're there 'til we repay him, which I don't know if it will ever happen."

"So why did you attack us at the mansion?" She asked as she took a bite of the energy bar.

He sighed. "I had to, Magneto was going, then Mystique was going, then Quill, too. I just filled out the team so no one else crazy would go. Besides, I was purposely not hitting you hard."

Kerri wasn't sure if she believed him. "Why don't you sound like such a jerk now?"

"Because I'm not," he smiled. "I just sound like that sometimes. Especially when I'm talking about how great I am. I am, you know."

Kerri was starting to feel better after having eaten something. "Yes, you certainly exist, you keep reminding everyone."

He laughed. "Do you need a ride home?"

"Well, not necessarily..." She said. "I could fly." He started the car and put his seat belt on, pushing the button to drop the top down. "Why do you have a car, anyway? You could just run and get somewhere as fast as blinking, if we were to believe you."

"I could, but it's hard to show off for the ladies if they can't see you when you show off," he told her. Kerri put on her seat belt and he put the car in gear.

"So, why do you want to show off for the ladies so much that you don't run?" Kerri mocked his choice of words, although not rudely.

He let out a laugh. "How did Nightcrawler get your attention?"

Quicksilver was darting in and out of traffic, and if she didn't know about his super human reflexes, she might think it was only by God's graces that they were still alive.

"I'd rather not talk about..." She wasn't quite sure what it was she didn't want to talk about; their relationship, how they had first met, the good times, or just him in general.

He laughed. "He was showing off, right?"

"No, he just walked past me. Wearing his hologram." She didn't know why she told him.

He looked over at her, confusion written on his face. "All he did was walk past you? Are you so used to guys ogling you that him not looking made a difference?"

"I looked like a little kid, no one was ogling me." He had glanced at the road, but now his eyes were back on her. "It's my mutation, I can shift my appearance."

"Like Mystique?"

"No, not like Mystique!" Her tail flicked against the seat. She noticed that he was glancing at her tail when he wasn't looking at the road and it made her a little agitated. "You think it's freaky? I could change into something more freaky if you like."

"No, I don't think it's freaky, and I don't know what you could turn into that would freak me out."

"Anything," she looked out of the car.

"So that's why you look so gorgeous, you just use your powers to look beautiful all the time?" He asked and Kerri scoffed at him. "What? You don't believe that you look good?"

"No, I don't. It's hard to believe after years of being told that I'm ugly by everyone I know, and people I don't know," she said. They pulled up through the gate of the school, up the driveway, and she opened the door, but turned and looked at him. "It's weird to call you Quicksilver all the time, but-"

"You can call me Pietro," he told her.

She smiled. "Well, Pietro, thanks for being a half decent person today."

"So, does that mean that I can get a kiss in reward for saving a damsel in distress?" His eyebrow quirked up.

"First, I wasn't in distress until you showed up, and second, heroes rescue people without expectations for rewards," she told him with a humorous smile lifting the corner of her lips.

"Yes, but I'm not a hero, remember? I'm with the bad guys," he joked.

Kerri laughed. "If you don't try anything weird I'll give you a reward."

"Never," he said, raising his hand in the air. She put her hand over his mouth and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Consider yourself rewarded," she said and climbed out of the car.

She walked through the yard into the door, and walked directly into Kurt's chest.

He didn't look happy, although he was trying to hide it. "So... You are vizh Qvicksilver now?" He asked, having seen them through the window.

Kerri sighed in exasperation to hide the giddiness that flowed through her belly at having just run into him. "Not that it's any of your business, Professor, but no, I'm not. He just gave me a ride because I was stranded at the mall." She stalked off, feeling guilty, but trying to stay mad.

Kurt teleported to the shiny blue spots car and gave a dangerous look to Quicksilver. "Stay avay from Kerri."

"Why? Ah, is someone feeling jealous?" A darker look came over Kurt's face as he realized that even though he loved Kerri, right now this smart mouthed jerk had more claim on her than he was allowed. Quicksilver laughed. "Don't take it so seriously, I only gave her a ride home because that loser human left her stranded. Besides, she just couldn't stop herself from talking about you. Anyone could tell she's crazy about you. I don't know how you caught her so well by just walking past with your hologram on, but you got her good."

"Just stay avay from her." Kurt's tail was moving back and forth in agitation, fully visible outside of his image.

"Relax! I couldn't steal her away if I tried. Don't let her fool you, she's still head over heels," Quicksilver told him as he put the car into gear and spun the tires a few times before shooting forward.

Kurt watched him drive away, thinking about what he'd said.

His shoulders stooped, his whole pose changing to one of depressed longing. "Ich konnte nur hoffen, dass so viel Glück..." He sighed miserably. {I could only hope to be so lucky...}


	5. Quoting to say I love you

**[AN: *sings* Happy Holidays, happy holidays, I can't remember how the rest of the song goes, but happy holidays... No, I have not been drinking the hot buttered rum... Anyway, here's the new chapter, I hope you enjoy it, please feel free to review, comment, or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri watched the drama class sitting at the tables of the library, trying not to feel so much anger that her appearance shifted without her meaning to.

Kurt stood at the counter a few feet away, but didn't say anything. She was watching him out of the corner of her eye as he watched the students working and talking about the play projects they were working on.

Kurt was facing the students as they worked on their projects, but his mind was elsewhere. Kerri was a few feet away, ignoring him, but he wished he could go closer to her, tell her he loved her, sneak off with her to the back and kiss her.

His mind filled up with the memory of kissing her so completely that she lay in his arms holding onto him as they kissed.

His lips started to ache to touch hers, his hands wanted to roam over her, massage the spots where her wings and tail grew, making her moan.

He looked over to see her waist length hair flipping as she turned quickly, and Hank chuckled. "You should read, or watch, _the Princess Bride_. It's been on her mind a lot lately, and we're expecting a copy to come in soon."

Kurt looked back at him. "How can you tell?"

"She has gone backwards a little, however, she's always been very talkative about movies and books," he told him with a grin. "Mostly quotes."

Kurt almost laughed. He thought it was funny to hear Hank comment on her quoting when that was a lot of his own conversation with people, and his eyes turned back to Kerri, who was busily doing something behind the counter.

* * *

Kerri woke up in a cold sweat, her nightmare haunting her in reality for a moment as she tried to get away into the land of wakefulness.

It was bloody, angry, confused, but the parts she could remember had to do with Kurt, bleeding, dying, or telling her he loved her, but she could always tell that the other girl was there, waiting around the corner, no matter what he said. Then he was bleeding, telling her they needed to be apart, falling down to the ground, calling for her...

Tears pooled around her eyes and she rolled over, trying to forget about it...

* * *

Kerri walked in through the doors of the arcade. Chance might be there, but she was determined that she wouldn't be chased out of the only place she felt normal.

She was dancing on the DDR machine when he found her.

"Kerri, can I talk to you?" He asked when she was done. "Maybe outside where it's quieter?" Kerri nodded and they walked outside to the parking lot.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted last time, Kerri. I guess, maybe I was jealous... I mean, that guy said that he and your ex are mutants, and I know how attached to your ex you were... And you obviously felt something when you kissed him, but you couldn't feel anything when I kissed you. I guess I was wondering if you liked them _because_ they were mutants..." He looked at the ground as he explained.

Kerri watched him as he spoke, listening silently until the end. "I didn't want to tell you about him because it's not my business to tell, and he's had a lot of problems because of it. I only started dating my ex because I thought he was such a wonderful person, and as for that other guy, I don't like him, although I have only met him twice; he's a cocky pain in the butt. I just happen to be in a situation that I meet a lot of mutants." She left out that the situation was living in and going to a school for mutants.

Chance looked up to her as she told him this. "I'm sorry, Kerri, I misjudged you. So, um... Do you think maybe... Do you think we could go out again?"

Kerri shook her head softly. "I don't know, I thought you were more open-minded when I agreed to go out with you before..."

"I'm open-minded, I don't care that your ex is a mutant, or that you hang out with them, even though if you stopped, you'd be able to pass as a regular person, who didn't get harassed-"

Kerri's anger was rising again and she cut in, "I stopped trying to fit in with the regular people a long time ago."

"Why?" Chance asked, confused.

"Because fuck them." She told him vehemently. "They made my life miserable, why would I want to fit in with them. They're mostly a horrible bunch of sorry sad sacks who only feel better when they're making someone else feel worse, and start mass killings at the first sign of something different. And for the record, I have been teased and tormented most of my life, until I wanted to die, and it was always "regular people" doing it, even though I was normal and I should fit in with them, while only three mutants have ever attacked me, and they were all members of the Botherhood; the bad guys." Chance was listening to her with wide eyes as Kerri started to turn away from him.

She wanted to put a last jab in, maybe it was to make a point, or maybe it was because she didn't want to feel like Peitro was right about her pretending to be someone she wasn't, but most likely it was to make him feel like an idiot when he realized that he liked, and wanted to keep going out with, a mutant. "And just so we're clear, so you know- I'm a mutant, too," she told him as she stalked away.

* * *

Kurt was hanging upside down from the frame on his bed. In his hands was the book Hank had given him, it was the new addition to the library, although he had given it to Kurt before he'd told Kerri it had come in.

_"Don't you understand anything that's going on? _

_Buttercup shook her head. _

_Westley shook his too. "You never have been the brightest, I guess." _

_"Do you love me, Westley? Is that it?" _

_He couldn't believe it. "Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches! If your love were -" _

_"I don't understand that first one yet," Buttercup interrupted. She was starting to get very excited now. "Let me get this straight. Are you saying my love is a grain of sand and yours is this other thing? Images confuse me so - is this universal business of yours bigger than my sand? Help me, Westley. I have the feeling we're on the verge of something just terribly important."_

Westley went on to tell Buttercup how much he loved her, but she accused him of teasing her, he asked her how she thought he could do something like that, and she told him that he'd never told her he loved her.

Kurt turned the page._ "I've been saying it so long to you, you just wouldn't listen. Every time you said 'Farm Boy do this' you thought I was answering 'As you wish' but that's only because you were hearing wrong. 'I love you' was what it was, but you never heard."_

He stopped reading.

Westley had found a way to tell his love that he loved her without saying it.

If he had thought of that, he could tell Kerri he loved her any time, and they wouldn't get into trouble, couldn't, since no one would understand.

But wait, why couldn't he use this?

Kerri quoted from books and movies all the time, and if this book was on her mind a lot lately, there was no way she'd ever mistake it...

She would have to realize that he was telling her that he loved her.

He became consumed by the book, he finished it early the next morning, having not gone to bed that night.

* * *

Kerri was standing next to a shelf in the library, finding the right place for the book in her hand.

A student walked past, the same student that she kept finding with Kurt. She shook her head. 'Why do they have to keep invading the library every day?' She asked herself.

The drama class had been in the library every day for the last few weeks, driving her insane with the closeness and distance to Kurt at the same time.

Kurt found her next, looking around to make sure Capra had passed already. "Hallo Kerri."

"Hello," came her dull toned reply.

Kurt's heart ached; he wanted to tell her how he felt and ask her to wait for him again. He put his hand on her arm, but she shrank away, her eyes slamming closed.

She could still feel the spark from his touch.

It wasn't fair; her only normal place had been taken away, not because Chance was there, but because she couldn't stand that she had misjudged someone so much, someone she had thought would be ok, and she was worried about making a friend and having that happen again, her only love didn't love her, wanted to be with someone else, and no matter how she tried, she couldn't stop feeling for him.

Kurt pulled his hand back, looking at her face as she tried to minimize and hide the pain on it.

His heart throbbed painfully. After a moment of silence he asked, "Kerri, vhy don't you take down your vall und feel how I feel for you?"

Her eyes clenched tighter. "No," she said shortly and walked away quickly.

Kurt watched her go. She was still too hurt to listen to him, but he loved her none the less.

* * *

Kerri had finally gotten _the Princess Bride_ in her hands.

It was a week night, so she tried to go to bed at a decent time, but she ended up asleep with the book on her chest. However, it didn't stay there long; it landed on the floor as she thrashed around.

Her nightmare that night was different than usual; her form stayed the same, but when she desperately needed something, she could find, or make, anything but that one thing; she needed a knife to cut herself free of ropes that held her to something, she couldn't tell what, but all she could find was the wooden floor and a blue sky. Then she'd suddenly have a spoon in her hand. Then a fan, and then a banana, then a stick, she couldn't control anything or get anything she needed, even though she could tell that she needed to hurry because whoever had taken her was coming back.

Kurt watched Kerri for a few days, wanting to talk to her, wanting to be close to her, wishing he could tell her he loved her.

He was waiting to make sure Kerri had had a chance to read the whole Princess Bride book before he approached her.

"Hallo Kerri, how are you today?" He asked as she shelved books in the library.

"Fine," she answered, her ears appeared laying back on her head and her tail twitched slightly as Capra walked up to them.

"Professor, how long are we going to have class in the library? I'm starting to forget what the classroom looks like," she joked, but it came out as more of a whine.

"Professor LeBeau vould know better," he told her, but didn't look at her.

"But, why are we here?" She asked, still in a whine.

"Vhy don't you go ask Professor LeBeau? He can tell you anyzhing you vant to know," he told her, trying to get her to leave while also trying not to sound rude.

Capra slowly walked away, but kept looking over her shoulder as she went.

"Have a fight with your girlfriend?" Kerri asked with a hard tone, her ears facing sideways in a not quite emotionally sure gesture.

"I don't have a girlfriend, I couldn't do zhat to you," he told her.

Kerri's ears turned back a little more in anger. "Don't say that, stop lying," she demanded.

Now was the set up he was waiting for. "As you vish."

Kerri's ears suddenly flicked around confusedly, up into a forward position, the sideways position, then back, then stayed sideways.

It only took a moment, but Kurt could tell that he'd hit something. She looked confused, but then seemed to dismiss it, glancing at him and then away.

She slid the book in her hand into place on the shelf and turned to walk away.

* * *

Kerri sat outside, looking at the pool, dipping her feet in and kicking them. She was just splashing and enjoying the air, it was still nice, despite being late in the year for swimming.

Her toes became webbed, half turning into fins before she stopped them and looked up to see Scott walking behind her, making the rounds around the school.

Her thoughts turned to Kurt, as they always did, eventually.

She thought about in the library, when he said 'as you wish.' It was strange that he had used those exact words in particular.

The second time he said those words Kerri was walking down the hallway.

Gambit stepped in front of her, making her stop so she didn't run into him. "Sorry, chere, Gambit don't mean to be in the way."

Kurt stopped walking where he had been, right behind him, and Gambit continued on his way. Kurt, however, stayed. "Hallo Kerri, how are you today?"

"Fine. Excuse me, I have to get to class in the library," she answered briskly.

"Vhy don't ve valk togezher?" He asked, sounding innocent enough.

"I'd rather walk alone," she told him.

"Aber, ve are going to zhe same place," he told her. She didn't answer, just kept walking, and Kurt followed behind as they both made their way to the library.

Kerri glanced back at him. "Stop following me," she demanded agitatedly.

"As you vish," he said.

She stopped walking, staring at him as he passed her. He'd said it again. Was it still a coincidence?

Later in the library, Kurt brought a couple if books up to the counter and set them down. "Hallo."

"Good evening."

"Kerri, vhy von't you let me talk to you?" He asked.

"Don't you remember? You're the one who said that we have to be apart, you wanted to break up, you have someone new..." She trailed off, trying to keep the edge in her voice.

"Kerri, I don't have anyvone, und I only said zhat because I don't vant you to get into trouble-"

"Stop, don't say that," Kerri cut him off quietly, trying to avoid him by taking the books and walking to the shelves to put them away. "My eyes know what they're seeing."

He followed her. "Kerri, I don't know vhat you're talking about, I don't have any-"

"Shut up," she told him, still trying to stay quiet. "Don't play innocent," she demanded.

"As you vish," Kurt said.

She was agitated now, why did he keep following her, why did he keep saying that? "You keep saying that to me. I wish you'd stop."

"As you vish," he told her.

She was more agitated now. "Who do you think you are? The Dread Pirate Roberts?"

Kurt looked into her eyes, hoping she knew what he was telling her. "Ja."

Kerri gritted her teeth. 'I knew that book wasn't new, Dr. McCoy always lets me open them, and the binding was already opened up a little,' she thought. "You're acting like a stalker, Lehrer," she told him with a rude tone, hoping it would make him stay away, or maybe that it would help her feel for him less.

"I'm not sure how you mean," Kurt told her, confused.

The bell rang and Kerri quickly turned and left, heading straight to Professor Xavier's office.

She knocked on the door and waited until she was invited in. "Professor, I need to talk."

"Yes, Kerri? How can I help you?" He asked, surprised by her coming to him to talk for once.

"I need to change my last period. I don't want to be a TA anymore."

Charles's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "I thought you liked working in the library?"

"I do, but, there's someone who is bothering me, he's come to the library every day for weeks," she told him.

"Who is it? Maybe I can help?"

"I don't think so, his class is there for what seems like a legitimate reason... But... I just, need to be away from him..." She sat down on the usual couch, looking at the carpet.

"Is it Kurt?" She nodded. "I thought you two got along well?" He asked, sounding deceptively uncurious.

She was silent for a moment, and as usual, she refused to give any depth of information. "What can I do instead of being a TA?"

"Well, it is substituting for vocational classes, so I suppose you could get a job," he told her.

"Ok, how do I do that? Wander around and put in applications?" She asked.

"I've got some contacts, I'll ask around and find something for you," he said.

"Thank you."

It took almost a week, but word came that she had gotten a job.

She checked the watch in her pocket, five forty-five, as she walked up the driveway to the low brick building. She passed bushes and trees with large paths between them, garden beds with a few tenacious flowers still clinging to life, and finally a sign just before the door reading, Garden Valley Retirement Center.

She walked through the doors and saw a large desk to one side of the large room. The rest of the room was filled with furniture, a piano, chairs, a few small tables all around. And there were flowers everywhere. Everywhere.

Kerri was a little creeped out by this room. 'Why do they always have flowers... It always makes it look like a funeral parlor...'

A voice came from her side, "Hello, how can we help you today?"

Kerri looked over, seeing a skinny lady with straight, honey blond, chin length hair and a larger lady with shoulder length, brown and blond streaked, curly hair, both in scrubs. She answered, "Oh, I'm the new hire, I'm here for my first day of work."

"Oh, Cathy, was it?" The skinny one asked.

"Kerri," she corrected. The skinny lady shuffled some papers and found one, writing on it before handing it to her while the thicker one called someone on the phone.

She looked at the papers, noticing that they'd spelled her name Carrie. 'I hope they don't drop a bucket of pig's blood on me,' she thought humorously while she waited for further instructions.

A new woman in scrubs came into the equation now. She looked about forty, with shoulder length brown hair, she was about two inches shorter than Kerri, and bigger around, seeming kind of motherly. "Hello, Kerri, I'm Beth," she introduced herself. "I'm the head of the nursing staff here, or caregivers, since most of them aren't actually nurses," she said with a smile.

Kerri smiled back, trying to look pleasant. Beth led her around, giving her a tour, ending in a staff only section.

"And this is the locker room, there is a men's shower and a women's shower, although no one really uses them. They are handy if you get something from a colostomy bag on you, though." Beth smiled laughingly. "These are the staff lockers, you can choose any one that isn't already taken, just bring a lock from home, and use the tape and marker to stick your name on the door. Well, that's it, except for the schedule." She walked over to the cork board and Kerri followed her. "This is where it's posted every week, we have fixed schedules here, so once you get into the groove of things, you'll have a standard schedule."


	6. Work and nightmares

**[AN: Hello again! ... ^.^ Happy third day of 2014! *mutters* even though this was supposed to come out on the 2nd... I don't even have a good excuse like partying, just that I was trying to sleep all day so I could work a grave, then went to work and remembered it was Wednesday, and there was no computer. *Sigh* So at first the nightmares were going to be a bigger thing than they turned out to be, but I didn't want Kerri to have too many problems lol. Anyway, since she doesn't ever talk about them to anyone, they mostly just eat at her subconscious for a little while. However, Mrs. E is really smart and can tell that she's having problems, and since she's a nice old lady, she wants to help. Anyway, here's another chapter, sorry it's late. I hope you can at least enjoy it though, so please, comment, vote, message me, or just read, enjoy!]**

* * *

Kerri walked up to the low brick building she worked in. It had been a week, or two; she was losing track.

Almost every day was the same; get up, go to classes, work in the danger room a little, free sixth period, get ready and ride the bus to work by six.

She probably could have driven, but this gave her more time to read and get homework done on the way so she didn't have to do it in the middle of the night. She still only had half shifts, from six until eleven, just so she could get the hang of how to handle things, then they might change her shifts.

She went to the locker she had claimed and stuck her bag into it as another employee came into the room, a woman who acted more like a petty high schooler sometimes, Niki, if she remembered correctly.

Kerri took her bag out enough to stick in her MP3 player and headphones while Niki pulled out her purse and grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter while giving her an almost dirty look that Kerri was sure Niki didn't think she saw.

It was hard, but Kerri managed not to laugh out loud. It wasn't that she though it was funny, more that she thought Niki was so ridiculous; she didn't like Kerri because she wasn't like her; petty, obsessed with image, covered in make up, just over all girly, she guessed.

Kerri clocked in and clipped her badge to her scrub shirt. She had never known that scrubs were so comfortable, but she was finding out now.

She sat at the nurses station to read all of the reports that had gone on before her shift; Mr. Andrews had gotten a bad case of diarrhea after having been plugged up for two days, Mrs. Domingo had another episode of dementia, forgetting where she was, claiming that one of the staff was trying to kidnap her when they came to take her to dinner... On and on they went.

Since dinner was already served and everyone was already there eating, Kerri sat at the station and read about the patients some more, finding out more about them, until Niki came back and sat in the chair next to her.

"So, Kerri, why don't you wear make up?" She asked.

Kerri looked over at the at least thirty-five year-old and felt bad for her kids if she had any; she had a feeling that Niki was the kind of woman that wanted to feel young, hanging out at frat houses and hitting on teenage boys to do it. "Well, I never really learned how to use it," she thought of Kitty, telling her about some of the things in her make up kit and how they worked as they were getting ready for the formal last year.

"You're a girl, it should come to you naturally, didn't you and your girlfriends ever give each other makeovers when you were younger?" She asked.

Kerri took a deep breath. She didn't go around telling people about how she had grown up, usually, but maybe, if she said it right, it would make Niki leave her alone. "Well, when I was nine, my dad died, and my mom married a giant ass hole. I wasn't allowed to have anyone over, go over to anyone's house, watch tv, or talk to anyone on the phone. I didn't really have any friends, except one, but she decided I wasn't a good friend to have, and left me to join the group of girls that made my life suck. I didn't have an allowance, and my mom never bought me anything like make up, so I never even had a chance to learn or practice."

Niki stared at her for a moment before turning away to look at something else, like what she'd said wasn't deserving of attention. "Hmm."

Kerri almost smiled. 'That should work for a while.'

They went and helped the people to their rooms, making sure they didn't need anything before they went about asking them if they wanted to participate in one of the planned activities for that evening. Then Kerri went around, making sure that everyone was ok, checking on her favorite person, Mrs. Emillo, twice.

Mrs. Emillo was a nice lady, she was kind and gentle, and her voice hardly ever raised, even if she said some strange things sometimes. She was like a grandma, and even though everyone else said she was demented, Kerri felt like maybe she actually saw more of the world than everyone else did, sometimes.

Mrs Domingo, however, was scary. She was always having delusions, she would get hysterical, screaming and yelling about something, hitting and kicking whoever came near her. Kerri kept telling herself that she wasn't afraid of her, per say, just that she was wary, after all, this woman had called another staff a mutant because he had dyed his hair green, and she didn't want to be outed. Again, not because she was afraid, just because she didn't want the complication of everyone else's misguided thoughts about her.

She sat at the nurse's station again, checking the time. It was almost nine, when things got hairy. After that, the nurses went around and checked everyone who had IVs, then made sure everyone had received their meds, then charted and left it to the aides to make sure everyone was still alive and well, and instead of having only the one hall to worry about, Kerri had two.

Kerri went to the locker room and pulled out her small dinner, eating it quickly as she grabbed her school books and went back to the nurse's station. She opened her book and started on her homework, hoping to get it finished before she got back to the school that night. She hated sitting up all night doing homework, even if she was up all night anyway.

By eleven, she had checked on the residents a billion and a half times, she felt, and she could clock out and hurry to catch the bus home.

Niki was standing in the locker room, a smoke in her hand and her purse in her other. She was again glaring at Kerri, and Kerri was again trying not to laugh at her ridiculousness. "So, before, you said that you didn't have any friends."

"Yep," Kerri said, getting her bag out of her locker and closing it. She went to the time clock and swiped her card to leave.

"Hard to believe with your winning personality," Niki said derisively.

Kerri rolled her eyes, 'so ridiculous.' "I know, right?" She mocked a girly tone. "Sorry, I have to go catch the bus. See ya' later!" She walked out, shaking her head at some people's stupidity.

She was making her way down the hall to the doors when Mrs. Emillo poked her head out of her room. "Good night, dear. I'll see you tomorrow, and I'll bake you some cookies," she told her.

Kerri smiled. "Thank you Mrs. Emillo, I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she exited the door. 'Such a nice old lady,' she thought as she walked to the bus stop.

She caught the next to last bus of the night and rode it for a half an hour before they got close to the school, giving her time to relax and calm down, then she got off and walked the rest of the way to the driveway.

It wasn't far, and she enjoyed the walk, having always liked to be outside at night, when everyone else was inside, in bed. It was like she had the world to herself, everything seemed secret, quiet, and still.

She wasn't afraid like most people were, and now that she was a mutant, she felt safe to wander where ever her heart desired, confident that, short of a bullet, she could handle whatever scum tried to harass her; she hadn't made anyone see their worst nightmares in a long time, but it was still a possibility.

She and the Professor had even figured it out over the summer; she was a strict empath, even only getting thoughts as feelings, and when she asked someone what their greatest fear was, they thought of it, she picked up on the feelings of what it looked like, how it was, and made herself feel like that, thus turning into what they feared.

It would be enough to make the biggest, baddest rapist run home to his mommy, and she only had a few people she couldn't use it on; powerful psychics, like Jean and the Professor, and Magneto, what with his helmet preventing any psychic from getting into his head.

She got to the gates to the school and pressed the button. Logan's face appeared on the screen for a moment, and the gates opened to let her in. She got to her room and pulled off her scrub top, revealing a tank top, and she took off her bra and pants, pulling her pajama bottoms on and falling onto the bed and actually falling asleep, for once.

* * *

Kerri was sitting in the library, doing homework, when Kurt came up to her and sat down. She looked up at him and her heart raced faster, still glad to see him, no matter how hard she tried to not be happy.

He put his hand on hers, making her wonder about the rules and why he wasn't worried about getting into trouble suddenly. "Kerri, I just wanted to tell you that you're a nice kid, but that's all." Her eyes squinted in confusion at him. "And I wanted to tell you that you'll find someone else, what about Chance?"

Kerri turned and saw Chance, but he didn't look like he wanted to have anything to do with her. A look of disgust was on his face as he looked her up and down. "Eeeew, you're a mutant, I don't want to be your friend."

"And what about Peitro?" Kurt's voice floated to her, even though she couldn't see him.

She turned to find Kurt, but only found Peitro. "Yeah, I'm right here, but now I'm here, and here," he said, giving her a feeling that he was moving super fast, but he was staying in the same place. "Come on, baby, I know you'll like it, just come closer and let me at you," his voice gave Kerri hives as she shuddered.

Chance was back, "Don't get close to her, she's a mutant! You'll catch it from her!"

Suddenly all of the students from her old high school were in the back ground. "Don't get too close, she's a freak! Don't touch her, she's a mutant! Don't sit there, Kerri sat there yesterday, you'll catch mutant from her!"

Kerri frantically looked around at the room, surrounded by shadowy people all of a sudden. "No," she tried to whisper, but a howl came out instead, "Arooo." She looked down and saw that her fingers were clawed, her feet were paws, her tail was behind her, and there was fur everywhere. She didn't have any clothes on, and even though she was covered in fur and no one could possibly see anything, she still felt naked. She fell to the floor, covering herself. "Kurt, how could you do this, I love you!" She yelled.

Chance and the rest of the faceless people rioted, saying, "You can't love, you're only an animal. Mutant's aren't people, they're like King Kong; stupid and dangerous, sub human..."

Kurt looked down at her and told her, "I could never love you, you're too stupid to even realize it, aren't you? I never loved you, I was just wasting time until Capra got here." Capra appeared, laughing at her with Kurt.

Kerri started crying, and Peitro was at her side. "Don't worry," he said, "I'll love you. We can be together, and my dad will rule the world, then we can hurt everyone who's ever hurt you."

The crowd in the back started chanting, "Freak, freak freak."

Kerri thought of hurting them, it would feel nice, but then she'd be a monster. "No," she said, "I don't love you, and I don't want to hurt anyone..."

Peitro was angry at this. "Fine, die with everyone else!" He and a caped figure that wasn't quite visible started killing everyone by making them fall down.

Panic ensued and they were all yelling at her, "It's your fault, freak! You're killing us! Stay away! Freak!"

Kerri begged them to stop, but nothing she said made a difference. Finally she gave up and started kicking the shadowy figures, trying to make them shut up. Kurt pulled her away, pushing her to the ground. "Don't hurt them, they're only telling the truth."

"They're not!" Kerri cried.

"I'm the good guy, remember, I know when someone's telling the truth, and they are. You're a monster. One of the bad guys," Kurt told her coldly.

"No, no, no!" Kerri screamed. "I didn't do it! I'm not bad, I'm not a monster! I'm a person, and I have feelings, please stop!" She begged and begged, but they didn't stop.

The dead bodies got up from the ground, suddenly rotten and grotesque. "It's your fault, it's your fault, it's your fault," they chanted as the came closer.

She saw Quill walking towards her as well. His arms hung limply, dripping blood down onto the ground from long hollow gashes on his wrists. A dripping line of red flowed down his throat and clothes. His eyes were dead. "It's your fault. You did this to me. It's your fault," he chanted with the others.

Kerri couldn't take it. She curled up on the floor and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep them away. "No," she cried, "no..."

Then they got her, and pulled her up, stretched her out, pinned her so that Quill's dead eyed, rotting corpse could try to take its revenge. Blood dropping in congealed clumps, flesh peeling away to reveal rotting muscles, maggots dripping from a wound in his temple that could have only been put there by a bullet, foam trickling down from his mouth, he forced her to look at him as he came closer.

Kerri began to scream.

Kurt was on his second night of hall monitor duty, his first had gone without any problems, and without seeing Kerri, much to his sadness. He'd hoped he'd see her, that he'd get a chance to talk to her, but she avoided him, like she'd been doing for the last couple of weeks.

As he walked down the hall of the girls dormitory, he heard crying from behind a door. He looked up and realized it was Kerri's door that the half strangled, muffled sobs were coming from.

He looked around, worrying about her. It hurt him to hear her cry, but she was in her room, it was night, he was a teacher... Put together it was a recipe for trouble and expulsion.

There was a soft yell, then a scream. Kurt's eyes shot back to the door. Another scream. "Kerri," he said softly, putting a hand on the door. He looked around, praying for guidance, and Logan came out of a shadow, just as he was about to forget the rules and teleport into the room to help Kerri.

"Don't do it, Elf," Logan told him.

"Aber... Kerri... Listen to her, she is screaming, vhat if she is in trouble?" Kurt looked over his shoulder at him.

"The only trouble she'll be in is if you go in there." There was a softly mournful tone to Logan's voice as he said this, and it was probably the only thing that kept Kurt in the hall.

"I zhink zhat zhey vill understand if I'm only going in to see if a student needs help," Kurt tried to rationalize to him, almost begging.

"That's not why she'd be in trouble. It's her power. No one can be in the room when she's having a nightmare, that's why she doesn't have a roommate."

Kurt looked back to the door, remembering when they'd gone back to her home town and stayed in a motel. She'd had a nightmare, and when he went to wake her up, she was terrified of him seeing her, she'd thrown herself off of the bed, out of sight, covering herself in blankets so there was no chance he'd see her. Her tail had grown out, and he supposed that something else could have happened if he had woken up earlier; her sleeping mind could have thrown off an image, and it would have bounced off of him, shaping her body while she slept, trying to defend herself from whatever was attacking her in her dream.

His hand went back to the door and his eyes went to the carpet as he was forced to do nothing while Kerri let out another tortured scream.

"She'll be ok, Elf. She'll wake up in a second." It was strange to hear comfort coming from the usually gruff warrior, but not unnatural for him, somehow.

"You sound as if zhis happens all of zhe time," he commented.

There was a lowering of pitch denoting regret as Logan told him, "It does."

The screaming stopped, and in a moment he heard sobbing again. "Schatz..." He murmured.

"Come on, let's give her some privacy," Logan prompted him away from the door.

* * *

Kerri sat on the couch in Professor Xavier's office the next morning, a sleepless and haunted look in her eyes.

"Kerri, would you like to talk about it?" He asked.

"It was a nightmare. It was pretend..." She sounded like she was still telling herself. "I'm just tired because I couldn't fall back asleep."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He tried gently.

"No, I don't want to think about it."

"Was it about something in your life? Something that's happening now?" He tried again.

"No, memories," she told him.

Charles sighed internally. He knew how bad memories could haunt you, how they could torture you in your dreams, and this poor girl couldn't even have anyone there to comfort her when she woke up; the only ones she would trust was Logan, who he couldn't see letting her cry on his shoulder, and Kurt, but he couldn't go near her according to the rules, and no matter how Charles liked to bend the rules, it would be a little too obvious if he suddenly told Scott to turn a blind eye and let them have each other. "Would you like me to lock the dream away so it can't come back?"

Kerri looked up at him for the first time that session. "You can do that?"

"I could certainly try, I've done such things with painful memories before," he told her.

She thought for a moment, but stood when the bell rang. "I have to get ready for work," she excused herself.

* * *

Kerri sat at the nurse's station. It was nice without Niki bothering her with stupid stares all night, she had a different partner tonight, a tall woman with hair that was honey blond with bright highlights. She was lazy, though, and Kerri did most of the work, walking around and checking on everyone.

As she was headed back, Mrs. Emillo stopped her. "Dear, come here, I've got something for you."

Kerri walked to her room and asked, "What are you doing still awake? I thought you were asleep last time I walked past."

"I've got something for you," she repeated, using her walker to go to her bookcase. She pulled off a book and turned to Kerri. "This is for you."

Kerri looked at the book, it was a strange color, and she couldn't quite tell what the picture was, or had been, but the title was almost legible. "I can't take that, Mrs Emillo, it's yours," she tried to refuse, but Mrs. Emillo put the book in her hands.

"I think you need it more than me, after all, I'm no spring chicken any more, and you've been looking harried lately. I hope it will help," she said.

Kerri tried to think of a way out of taking the book. "I'll just hold onto it for you," she said.

Mrs. Emillo smiled and Kerri went back to the nurse's station, checking on everyone again as she went. As she sat down, she realized that she had finished her homework, and her book. She sat trying to entertain herself for a bit, but she really had no desire to talk to the woman next to her, since she only wanted to talk about how everyone was taking advantage of her, and what a wonderful person she was.

She picked up the book and started to read. It turned out to be a book that was hand written, but professionally bound. It seemed to be a dream diary, talking about different dreams and what they meant. There were a few dreams in it and they were all followed with the explanations and thoughts of the author.

"... I dreamed that I told him I loved him again, he said he hated me, though. I told him again I loved him, and he said, you're not so bad. This gives me hope that he will forgive me for going on a date with another man.

June 27, I dreamt that I wished I was a water buffalo, but nothing happened. Probably because I'm better off being myself.

June 28, I didn't dream last night. It was more like the perfect fantasy. I was walking hand and hand with George, and we danced along the coast line, watching the waves make love to the beach, and then we were in them, holding each other in our throws of passion, keeping tempo with the waves. Obviously, I'm excited that George has asked me out, and I hope that it means we can stay together this time. As for that other part, well...

June 29, I dreamt of the stars, and how they look reflected on the water. I tried to fly through them, but kept finding myself in the water, flying at the reflections instead. I think that I'm being held back by myself, that I want to fly and achieve new and great heights, but that my fear is keeping me from doing so."

Kerri was jolted from the pictures the words created as the woman whose name she couldn't remember nudged her excitedly. "It's eleven, time to clock out."

Kerri clocked out and headed out through the door at the end of the hall, poking her head into Mrs. Emillo's room. Seeing she was awake, she told her, "I'm not stealing this, I just want to borrow it to finish it," she told her.

"Keep it, it's yours. Good night, dear, I'll see you tomorrow," she answered.

* * *

It had been a few weeks, and Kerri had finished the book long ago, and she hadn't had a nightmare in a long time, either.

She sat outside one night, looking up at the stars, bundled in a blanket against the cold.

It reminded her of when Kurt had pulled her outside in December. They'd sat and looked up at the stars, too nervous to talk to each other much. Kurt's tail had come close to touch her, he'd taken off his hologram...

She suddenly wanted to kiss him.

She'd been trying to stay away from him, and generally succeeding, for almost a month and a half. Of course, she still stole glances at him when she was running away, but at least she didn't have to see him with his new student love, Capra.

'What kind of name is Capra anyway? People think of the stupidest names for their kids,' she thought.

Kurt was in bed, but he couldn't sleep. He desperately wanted to see Kerri, it seemed like it had been forever since he'd been able to actually see her and not just the flick of her long hair as she ran away from him. His heart was aching, and his room had returned to a mess as he lay in bed and refused to come out unless he had a class to teach or Professor Xavier or Logan pulled him out.

He drifted into a fitful sleep, dreaming of being able to hold Kerri close, kiss her, tell her he loved her, but then she would disappear, leaving him alone. He was glad when it didn't last long.

In the morning his alarm went off from somewhere on the floor. He'd knocked it off in the night, tired of staring at it and the time not changing while he went over every time he had kissed Kerri, every time he had held her close.

He reached behind the small bedside table and found the cord. He yanked it out with his tail to silence the noise.

After laying in bed for a while longer he got up and got ready to go teach class.

In class, he sat at the desk, watching as Gambit told them different things to look for when reading a play, then told them to read from the plays they had gotten.

"Now, mon ami, tell Gambit, de little chere still getting you down?" Gambit asked as he sat next to Kurt.

He looked up. "Ja, vell, nein... I just vish I could see her vizh out her running avay."

"Why don't you forget about her for a while?"

"I can't do zhat," Kurt told him, blown away by the thought. "Ich liebe sie... I might as vell ask you to forget about Rouge," Kurt said. { I love her}

"Ah, ami. Rouge forget about ol' Remy all de time..." Kurt looked up at him. Where was this coming from so suddenly? "And Remy never forget about her... I understand, it's hard."

Kurt looked at the class and made sure that none of them were listening. "Vhat do you mean?"

Gambit smiled at him self derisively. "She afraid, jus' like Rouge. Afraid dat we gunna hurt dem, dat de world gunna to hurt dem, dat if dey admit dey love us somethin' suddenly gunna to go wrong."

Kurt looked at him. It made sense. How long had Kerri said she'd loved him before she'd admitted it to him? So long that she'd already tortured herself into believing that she was alone in her feelings, that he'd never love her, couldn't love her...

Was she doing the same thing now? Making herself believe he'd never loved her, making excuses so she didn't have to feel?

He looked at the ground. He didn't want her to do that, didn't want her to think that, because he did love her, needed her to breathe, to be happy, to live...

He needed to talk to her, but he couldn't, not when he wasn't allowed to talk to her about anything between them except a teacher/ student relationship, which they didn't have because she wasn't in drama.

"See I sparked somethin' dere," Gambit said to him.

"Ja. If I could only talk to her, aber... Zhe rules..." Kurt trailed off.

"What about outside of school, no one won't hear you den," Gambit said, smiling conspiratorially.


	7. Good girl or monster?

**[AN: First of all, I forgot to answer corticarte apa lagranges... sorry, when I see a review I get so excited about getting the next chapter out for you guys to read... Anyway, yes, damn Scott and his need to shit on everyone else's joy! lol that's how I always see him, such a kill joy pain in the butt. Also, Shadower, I read your review and had a big grin on my face for the rest of my day, my co workers (who I don't really know yet) were giving me weird looks, I'm sure lol. And to apologize for not being on top of things lately and to say thanks to all you guys who like this story... I happen to have a couple chapters up my sleeve... So three chapters for you today! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter, please feel free to review, message, or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri was sitting at the nurse's station at work, studying for end of terms, since they were coming up fast, and she wanted to graduate.

She looked at the clock on the desk, it was time to do rounds again. It was hard to study when you had to go take care of something every five minutes, or like now, had to make rounds every fifteen minutes.

She finished the paragraph as she stood up, then tried to memorize it as she walked down the hall.

Niki ignored her when she passed, pretending she hadn't seen her as she went into Mr. Sabastion's room.

Kerri went into Mrs. Emillo's room, and found that she was still awake.

"You look so much better, dear. Would you like a cookie?" She looked around for the plate of cookies, but there wasn't one. "Oh, I've forgotten to bake anything for your visit. I'm sorry."

Kerri smiled. "It's ok, Mrs. Emillo, I just wanted to check and make sure you're ok." She stepped back into the doorway and saw Niki in the doorway next to her's.

"You stole it! You little hussy! She stole my watch, police!" Mr. Sabastion's voice echoed into the hall.

Kerri stuck her head out into the hall and looked over at the two people. "I didn't steal anything, Mr. Sabastion," Niki said on a sigh, sounding like she was fed up with him already. Kerri could see the numbered light above his door flashing, meaning he'd paged the nurses, and she heard feet distantly down the hall heading their way.

The steps got closer as three nurses arrived, one of them Beth, the head of the department. They were still too far away to help when the situation burst open.

"You think I'm going to put up with this?" Mr. Sabastion demanded. "I don't have to deal with a hussy thief who stole my watch!" Kerri saw Niki take a step back as Mr. Sabastion brandished a knife at her.

Kerri quickly said, "Stay here," and pulled Mrs. Emillo's door closed, then grabbed Niki's shoulder and half pushed half pulled her out of the way, she over balanced and fell to the ground in front of two of the nurses who had come to check on Mr. Sabastion's page and check IVs, as the old man himself stepped into the hall, holding a steak knife in his hand and looking down at Niki on the ground.

"That's the last time you steal from me!" He shouted, getting ready to use the knife.

Chaos is what would have happened any other time, but it was dark, and most of the residents fell asleep when the sun went down. Also on their side; Mrs. Emillo's door was closed, so she was safe, the nurses were too far away to run into the fight blindly, Niki had stayed on the ground, and Kerri was there. Behind the old man with the knife and dementia.

Time seemed to slow down as adrenaline pumped through Kerri's veins. She was trained, and battle tested. An old man with a knife and a disadvantage was not going to take her down. Even though Mrs. Domingo had just walked out of her room having her own episode of dementia, riling up Mr. Sabastion further.

In a flash, Kerri stepped closer to him and wrapped an arm up, under his shoulder and around so she could put her hand on the back of his head, her other hand grabbed his wrist and straightened out so she didn't accidentally get stabbed.

Mrs. Domingo was at it, now. Her shouts echoed in the corridor, still egging Mr. Sabastion on. She was heading right toward Beth, intent on harming her, for sure.

'I could stop it,' Kerri thought. 'Just put a wave of calm on them...'

She could, her powers were right there, waiting to be used. She just needed skin to skin contact.

The decision was made; she had to get the few doors down the hall to grab a hold of Mrs. Domingo. She couldn't leave Mr. Sabastion with a knife, though, especially not with Niki still on the floor, too stupid to get up.

The two nurses in front of her were torn; Kerri wasn't trained in restraints, and she might accidentally hurt the old man's frail bones, he was certainly yelling loud enough that she might have already, but the usually two person hold Mrs. Domingo was advancing on their boss, and she couldn't hold her by herself, hence the need for two people to hold her.

But Kerri still had it handled. She gave a burst of her calm mind to Mr. Sabastion and quickly grabbed the knife with her left hand, still holding his wrist in her right. She took it from his grip and moved away from him. Throwing the knife at the wall, and making it stick a couple of inches in, then made fast work of the distance between her and Mrs. Domingo.

She came up behind her, wrapping her arms around the woman's stomach. "Mrs. Domingo, please calm down, everything's ok," she tried to push the calmness onto her, but couldn't; she wasn't touching any skin.

Her hands moved up, stopping the flailing arms from hitting her as she put her hands on the almost only piece of skin that was exposed on Mrs. Domingo; her head.

Kerri tried to push the calm, but instead she felt something in return. It felt like a shattered mirror, confused, jumbled shards were everywhere, stabbing through the calm blanket she had tried to lay down. She didn't quite understand, except that this must be what it was like to have dementia; looking into a million different shards of different reflections and not being able to make sense of any of them. Kerri put her head against Mrs. Domingo's, trying to relate the calmness directly. "It's ok, everything is fine, all's well, alles gute, bueno, bellemisio, bien, yoi, dea," Kerri cycled through every language she she could think of a word mean it's ok in, only using the word 'good' for some of them.

Mrs. Domingo's arms slowly stopped flailing, her muscles relaxed, her mind felt quieted, and when the other two nurses had reached them to give Kerri a hand, she didn't need it.

The nurses checked out the two residents and declared that they were fine and had no injuries.

"Wow," one of them said. "How did you do that?" She asked as she tried to pulled the knife out of the wall.

Kerri blushed, but told her what she could. "Oh, I, um, train in self defense and stuff."

"But doesn't self defense stuff usually hurt the person you're defending yourself from?" The other nurse asked.

"Well, I guess, but the head of the school, he doesn't like violence, so we have to practice defending ourselves, but also not hurting others," Kerri tried to explain in a way that would lead to less questions.

* * *

Having left Kurt in charge of the class, Gambit walked into Charles's office, checking that no one else was there who might, complicate things.

"Hello, Gambit. What can I help you with today?" Charles asked.

"More like what Gambit can help you with," he said as he leaned against the wall by the door.

Charles's fingers came together, his fingers making a point. Interesting. "And what can you help me with?"

"Well, Gambit know you like to bend de rules to help people, Gambit also know you know some people in de school who need help. Gambit also have an idea."

"And what is that?" He asked, intrigued.

"Well, if dese people want to talk widout de rules of de school, maybe dey leave de school, neh? If dose who knew dey talking don't care, and dose dat care don't know..." Gambit trailed off, leaving it to the Professor's brilliant mind to fill in the rest.

Charles's mouth turned up gently in a smile. "Yes. Thank you for bringing that up, however, I've tried to to imply something similar, and I don't think our dear friend understood what I was saying to him, and I cannot tell him outright to disobey the rules."

"Maybe you should send him _to_ her," Gambit suggested.

"Now _that_, is a plan." Charles's smile grew wider as the bell rang overhead.

Kurt sat at the desk and collected the draft papers the students were handing in.

Capra made sure she was the last one out, slowly walking down the steps toward the front of the room. "Professor, can I talk to you?" She asked as she closed in on him.

He looked up at her, not wanting to say yes. "Ja."

"So, I've been thinking about how we've been lately, and I think I understand. We have to be more discreet, you know, keep it quiet," she looked at him as she told him this, and apparently not waiting for an answer, she turned and walked out of the room.

Kurt watched her go, confused.

He had no idea what she was talking about.

He shook his head to clear the confusion and went back to work.

On Saturday Kerri went about her normal day; grocery shopping, then getting ready and going to work.

Kurt on the other hand, was laying in bed, wrapped in blankets, ignoring the world. Or at least trying to.

_'Kurt, I would like to see you in my office, quickly, please,'_ came Xavier's mental call to him.

The blankets shuffled a little as he thought about it.

The Professor probably just wanted to make him leave his room, maybe have him do something that he hoped would make him feel better.

Kurt decided that he should at least go and see what he wanted.

He stood, slipping from under the blankets, and pulled on some clothes before leaving. He walked the whole way to the Professor's office, choosing not to teleport.

When he got there Xavier let him in and asked him to have a seat. "Now that you're here, Kurt, I have something I wanted to talk to you about. As you may know, Kerri has a job, in fact, she is there right now. I was hoping to have someone check on her, just see how she's doing and how it's going with the job."

Kurt's heart started pounding in anticipation. He was going to go see Kerri, outside of the school. He might be able to talk to her about them, or, more accurately, tell her he loved her. "Und you vant me to do zhis?" He asked, trying to keep the pleading hope out of his voice.

"Yes."

That word had set things into motion. Kurt almost felt angry at himself for taking so long to get down there, he could have been with Kerri already if he hadn't walked!

He was telporting there now, declining the offer of a ride, wanting to get there as fast as he could.

He appeared on the dark roof of a hospital across the street from the place Kerri worked. He quickly found a secluded area to teleport down to ground level and walked up to the building like any other person might.

As he walked in, one of the women at the large desk to the side of the room called to him, "Sir, visiting hours are almost over, is there something I can help you with?"

"Ah, ja, I came to check on an employee..." Kurt trailed off, unsure what to tell them.

"Oh, you must be Kurt," a middle aged woman with brown hair addressed him. "I'm Beth, Professor Xavier called ahead," she explained.

"Ja," Kurt answered, relieved from the stress of what to tell them.

Kerri was walking down the hall, making rounds for the hundredth time already that night.

She passed Mrs. Domingo who was standing by her doorway, muttering to herself, but not hurting anyone, and decided to stop to talk to Mrs. Emillo, who was sitting in a wheelchair outside her door because her legs were too stiff and swollen to walk on today.

"Kerri," a voice called to her from behind.

She stopped in mid step, confused.

She must be hallucinating. She though she'd heard Kurt, but why would he be here?

She turned around and saw Kurt walking towards her, real and in the flesh, and hologram, of course.

"Kurt, what are you doing here?" She asked.

"Zhe Professor vanted me to come check on you und make sure you are doing ok," he told her.

"I'm fine. Is that all?" Kerri told him, trying to slow her speeding heart.

After so long apart, running away really, she was close to him. He'd walked close by this point, and all she could think of clearly was that he was close enough that if she took a step or two, she could kiss him. It didn't help that her mind kept reminding her how long it had been since she had been able to kiss him; almost three months.

Her hand started to tremble slightly in a sign of withdrawal.

"Nein," he took a deep breath, gathering his courage. "I also vanted to talk to you." He looked around. "Is zhere some place..."

"Why don't we go outside," she suggested and led the way down the hall to the door.

They stepped outside, and the chilly air surrounded them. "So, what do you want?" Kerri tried to sound uninterested, trying to bring her defensive shell closer around herself.

"Vell, I," Kurt took a breath to steady his nerves. "Kerri, I still have feelings for you, und, I vanted... I vanted to tell you, and I vas hoping..."

Kerri didn't find out what he was hoping for; when he said he still had feelings for her, her defenses had stiffened, and now she was trying to get him as far away from her as she could. "What if I don't have feelings for you?" She asked.

Kurt's eyes widened hugely. "Kerri... Bitte, you didn't mean zhat..." She didn't say anything. "Kerri, I finally have a chance to talk to you about zhis-"

"Go away," she cut in.

"Vhat?" Kurt asked, confused.

"Go away from me. Leave me alone."

"Kerri, I understand zhat you are upset, believe me, I am not happy vizh zhe vay zhings are eizher," he tried to get through to her, his voice growing more firm.

"I just want you to leave me alone. You don't know how I feel." She tried to keep her voice hard and emotionless, but the pain was trying to creep in.

"Vhy don't you tell me, zhen?" He asked.

"I'm not mad at you, that would mean I'd have to care enough about you that what you did made me angry," her heart ached as she spoke these words, and so did Kurt's. "I just want you to leave me alone, because... because I..." She fought the tears trying form in her eyes.

Kurt was staring at her, standing as still as a corpse, silent, except for the tearing in his heart. He could see the conflict between what Kerri's mouth was saying and what her face was saying. "Just say it vone time. Say you don't love me and I'll leave you alone," he said quietly.

Kerri's eyes closed, holding the tears in, her face turned towards the ground, her shoulders slumped. "I," she took a breath to make her voice sound normal. "I... No..."

"No vhat?" Kurt asked, still quiet.

Another version of his voice was in the back of her head; "You're one of the bad guys."

His words from her nightmare floated through her mind hauntingly. 'I'm a bad guy,' she thought, 'a monster... Only a monster would do this to the man she loved...' "I- don't-" Her throat closed, trying to keep the lie from escaping. She clenched her hands into fists to keep them from reaching for him, crying into his chest and begging him to please forgive her, hold her and never let go...

Kurt watched her face, having no problems of seeing her in the darkness. He could tell she was very upset. He didn't want her to hurt, but he didn't dare try to put his arms around her, she was still too upset to listen, and pressing her too hard right now would do more harm than good. His one great hope left was that she couldn't say she didn't love him.

"Kerri," he almost whispered. "I'll go, for now, aber, only so zhat you can get back to vork, schatz." He turned and walked far enough that he wouldn't be seen by the cameras when he teleported away.

Kerri's face cracked and she hastily tried to put it back together. 'I'm a monster,' kept repeating in her head, over, and over, and over.

She finally took a breath and, hoping she looked composed enough that no one would question her, she headed back through the doors to the hallway.

She was just passing Mrs. Emillo when she called out to her, "Dear, oh, dear, come here." She was motioning for her to come closer, and Kerri stepped closer. Closer as the motioning continued. "Come here," the old woman told her, still motioning, and Kerri crouched in front of her, her hand on the arm of the wheelchair for support.

"You're a good girl," Mrs. Emillo's hand ran down the top of Kerri's head, and Kerri's eyes widened in shock. "Good girl," she repeated as she stroked her hair like you would a dog's head.

Tears built in Kerri's eyes and she fell to her knees, her hands on Mrs. Emillo's knee, staring tearily at her as she told her she was a good girl.

Was she? Mrs. Emillo would know, she was a nice lady... But then, how could she have said those things to Kurt, the man she loved, just now?

"AHH! Aaaaahhhhhhhh!" A voice assaulted her ears as it echoed off the walls. "Mutant! She's a mutant!"

Kerri looked over to see Mrs. Domingo screaming her head off a little ways away.

In all the emotion she hadn't noticed that her ears and tail had appeared, her tail laying against the ground and her ears laying against her head.

She quickly looked back at Mrs. Emillo, fearing what she would say, but she only stroked her head again. "Good girl."

Kerri jumped up and shook her head, losing the feeling of ears and a tail, looking normal by the time Niki and the nurses had made it down the hall to see what all the commotion was about.

"Mutant!" Mrs. Domingo was still screeching.

Kerri backed away as the others tried to calm the hysterical woman, fearing that she had been outed.

They had to sedate Mrs. Domingo to calm her down, and after they had gotten her settled back into her room in a drug induced haze, the nurses walked past Kerri consoling her with, "Don't worry, no one will take her seriously, she's just a little touched in the head, she doesn't mean any harm, no one will think you're a mutant."

That night when Kerri lay in bed, she couldn't sleep. She kept going over what had happened in her mind, agonizing over it, every word that had been said, every action...

It didn't escape her notice that Kurt had called her schatz again, and that she still didn't know what that meant. She knew she could look it up in the German- English dictionary, but she wasn't sure she wanted to know what it meant.

She wouldn't admit it to herself, but she was afraid he was calling her something awful.

Not that she could blame him...

* * *

Kurt was under the blackbird with Logan as he was teaching him more about how it worked.

Of course teach was a relative term with Logan, which was probably why Kerri had been his first mentee.

"Heard you went to see the Kid at work." It wasn't a question, just a side comment, but for some reason Kurt answered.

They'd become close friends the last few months, and Kurt felt like he could talk to him, as strange as it sounded. "Ja, I did."

"You get to talk to her?" It sounded like just another comment, but, still Kurt answered.

"Vell, I got to say hello, aber, she, vouldn't talk to me, just kept telling me to go avay," he admitted.

"Kid's stubborn," this also sounded like only a comment, but it had a comforting ring to it as well.

"If I vas going to try to talk to her, vhat do you zhink vould help?" He asked as he worked a nut back onto a bolt.

"I don't know, Elf, all women are the same, sometimes it's just a matter of when you catch them. With the Kid, she's got her defenses up most of the time, liable to bite your head off if you're not careful."

Kurt smiled for the first time in what seemed like a long time. "Ja, so I've noticed."

Kerri tried to stick it out with her job after her slip, but as end of terms approached the next week, she found herself consumed by worry that she would slip again and expose herself.

It didn't help that Mrs. Domingo started having problems every time she walked past, not always screaming, but always warning everyone that she was a mutant.

On that Friday, she went to Beth's office.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked after Beth called to her to come in.

"Sure," the older woman answered, taking off her reading glasses.

"I- I think I need to quit," Kerri told her.

"Quit what?" She asked

"This job," Kerri answered.

"And why do you feel this way?"

Kerri hesitated. She didn't want to make it sound like she hated it here, and she didn't want Beth to think that Professor Xavier had sent her a bad employee, so she truthfully said, "Because of the incident with Mrs. Domingo... She still seems rattled by it, and I'd feel bad if she had a relapse every time I walked down the hall..."

"Are you sure? Really sure, I mean?" Beth asked.

"Yes," she answered.

Beth sighed. "Well, ok... It's too bad, you're a good worker, and you aren't lazy. That thing you did with your powers the other day, too. That was really helpful. It's too bad you can't stay."

Kerri's eyes widened. "What do you mean, my powers?"

"When you calmed down Mr. Sababstion and Mrs. Domingo, a couple weeks ago, remember? You used your powers to calm them down," Beth tried to jog her memory.

"What powers?" Kerri was trying to play dumb, but it could never sit quite right on her.

"What do you mean what powers, your mutant powers of course," Beth was looking at her like she was as demented as Mrs. Domingo.

"You mean... You knew about me?" Kerri asked, her pitch rising in surprise.

"Of course, I figured you were when Xavier was asking about a job for you, since he's the headmaster of that school for mutants at the mansion," Beth explained.

"And, it never bothered you?" Kerri asked.

"Did it ever bother you that you're the only mutant here?" Beth asked.

"Well, no... But, I'm not the one who has the problem usually, it's everyone else, even some of the other mutants..." Kerri trailed off.

Beth smiled. "Well, I don't have a problem with mutants. In fact, if you're looking for another job, I have a friend that works at group home for mentally handicapped adults. I'm sure she'd appreciate me sending over a good worker like you."

"I am, in fact, and I'd appreciate it," Kerri admitted.

"I'll have her set it up through Xavier then. I'll be sad to see you go, Kerri."

That night as Kerri cleaned out her locker, Niki stayed in the locker room to talk to her. "So, I heard you were quitting because of that old bat Domingo." The hand holding her unlit cigarette waved through the air and her other hand was wrapped around her cell phone, the latest one on the market, of course. "Don't worry about it, I'd probably quit too, if someone kept calling me a muttie every day," she told Kerri, mistaking the look of disgust at her rudeness for being offended.

Kerri stuffed the last of her stuff into her bag and walked out of the room to go catch the bus home. 'Some people just can't be helped,' she thought.


	8. She's doing what with who!

**[AN: As promised, here's another chapter! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please feel free to review, message or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri dodged a punch aimed at her head, ducking to the side and around Logan.

Her foot slid on the wet floor of the danger room and she fell to her knee.

Thunder flashed above them, blinding Kerri for a moment, making it easy for Logan to pick her up and throw her across the room. Kerri's wings appeared, catching the air and helping her settle herself right-side up on the ground.

The two of them had moved past "safe" fighting not long ago, and Logan's claws shot out from his knuckles as he came at her.

In the dark, rainy, lightning filled space, she looked at the man coming to her. He of course didn't look as frightening as she knew he could, but he was still imposing. 'Cut proof,' she thought, 'something cut proof...'

Of course, nothing could stop adamantium. But...

A memory popped into her head, from her dad's old books, particularly the Dungeons and Dragons monster manual. A pudding, a black pudding, couldn't be destroyed by slashing or cutting, it just split apart. She didn't want to split apart, but maybe if she stayed thick enough, if she only changed part of herself...

That's not exactly what happened though, her body retained it's shape, and she was still obviously human, but her body's tissue had changed, turning a faint green color that almost looked like it was glowing, with a consistency that seemed to be half Jello half blubber. She only hoped that she was as cut proof as she thought she would be.

As Logan's claws came at her, he had a sudden horrifying flash of muddled memory; his claws sliding into skin, a woman's skin... a beautiful woman with red hair and bright green eyes...

"Rose..." The name slipped from his mouth and he saw her in front of him instead of Kerri.

He tried to stop his hand, tried to avoid cutting her, but his will to retract the deadly blades was somehow paralyzed, and he couldn't stop himself as his hand flew forward.

His blades moved through her skin like butter, only catching on her suit as it ripped, and the skin sealed back together as soon as they passed.

Charles was sitting and watching in the observation deck. When Logan quickly walked out, he went down to the doors and caught Kerri as she walked out and Logan passed him, holding his head and looking a little confused. "Kerri, do you have time? I would like to talk to you."

Kerri stopped walking and agreed to come with him.

"I have talked to Mandy, Beth's friend, at the group home," he told her as they made their way to the med lab. "She says she would be happy to have you working there, and that you can start after the new term so that you don't have to worry about getting all of your term things done and learning a new job all at the same time."

"Great," Kerri said. "So, what exactly do you want Dr. McCoy to do to me?"

"Well, while you were fighting Logan in the danger room, I saw him cut you," he gestured to the cuts in the stomach of the uniform she was still wearing. "And I see that you don't seem to be cut now. I was just wondering if your form was invulnerable, or fast healing, and who better to test that than Dr. McCoy?"

Kerri nodded slowly. "So I'm to be experimented on, like a lab rat."

Charles looked up to her face, quickly trying to put out any fires. "No, only things that you agree to will be done here. We do not experiment on anyone, living or dead, that does not give us their permission, or would not want us to."

Kerri looked at him in his sudden rush to assuage her. "I was joking... I'm sorry that my tone doesn't always match my intent, I forget sometimes that I sound hollow."

Charles felt relieved. In truth, he did try to stay to the standard he had just given her, but it was an ideal, not necessarily a reality...

Instead he commented, "I've heard you speak many times, and I must say that you are very capable of controlling your tone when you wish."

There was a gloomy look in her eyes as she smiled down at him. "Why, Professor, are you accusing me of being good manipulating people?" Her tone was light, but deceptively so, and Charles knew she was only playing. Her tone went as gloomy as her eyes for her next sentence. "If I could make people do what I wanted to, I wouldn't have a problem getting them to leave me alone..."

"You mean Kurt," he said, but she neither confirmed or denied it. "Sometimes when the ones we love push us away, that's the time we cling to them the most."

Kerri looked at the floor with a dejected look in her eyes, still saying nothing.

When they entered the med lab, Dr. McCoy was waiting for them. They had Kerri shift back into the form from earlier and sit down.

"How does it feel to be like that?" Dr. McCoy asked.

"Not too strange. It's almost like... being a rubber glove filled with Jello... When I move, otherwise, I can't tell the difference." Kerri told him.

He wrote her answer and looked back up to her. "Can you bend in any new or strange ways?"

She tried, and while she felt like it was possible, her brain stopped it from happening. "No."

He wrote in the notebook some more. "How deep did Logan cut you, how did you heal, and was it conscious?"

"It was barely a nick, I don't know, it did it by itself."

He wrote this into the book and stood, taking a scalpel in his hand. "Would it be ok if I observed this for myself?"

"I guess..." Kerri told him, unsure.

"I'll only do it if you are ready," he told her.

She pulled her fingers out of the little spaces for them and pulled up her sleeve. Dr. McCoy held onto her wrist and made a small nick on her forearm. The blade sliced through her like butter, giving no resistance, and as it passed, her skin came back together.

"Interesting," he commented as he wrote.

They tried a few more times, every one a little deeper, and all having the same effect.

"Interesting," Dr. McCoy commented again as he wrote. "What did you base this form on, and what made you change into it?"

"Well, I was about to get cut," she told them, "and I thought of a monster from a game; a black pudding."

His eyebrows rose. "From Dungeons and Dragons?"

"Yes," she admitted as he wrote this into the notebook.

* * *

Christmas came and went without anything interesting happening, except that Kerri was still working with Dr. McCoy on a few experiments, changing into different forms and showing him her limits.

Of course, she couldn't turn into anything so big that the person looking couldn't see the whole thing, something as big as a whale, yes, something as big as the empire state building, no way.

As she started work at the group home, she found that it was different than she had thought it was going to be; she'd been thinking of people who were severely disabled, in wheelchairs and unable to talk or communicate, but what she found was more like a group of able bodied men who acted a little like children.

There were only three men in the house, each had their own room, and it was a normal house, not a business.

She found that it was pretty interesting to work there, a little like babysitting, really. The staff cooked and cleaned, took the guys anywhere they wanted to go, helped them with their meds, helped the ones who couldn't shower get clean, and just generally give companionship and make life fun and interesting.

During the first week it took for Kerri to settle in at her new job, Kurt had decided to keep an eye on her. He quietly checked on her, making sure she was ok, seeing if she was still too upset to talk to him.

What he saw was that she was quiet and kept to herself.

He'd never noticed how much of a loner she was before, he knew she'd been by herself for a long time before coming to the school, and when she'd gotten here she'd stayed away from everyone after becoming the victim of teasing. After that, she'd been with him, Kitty, and Piotr, but, he realized now, no one else.

She went to class and went to work, and when she got home, she couldn't sleep, so she wandered around, played the active video games on the Wii and Xbox360 Kinect, and tried to finish her homework.

Kurt was surprised by how alone she was most of the time. She only seemed to be around other people by accident.

* * *

Kerri arrived at the house where she worked, going in and clocking in, reading the book where they wrote down what happened every shift.

It was an early morning shift on Saturday, but at least she had the rest of the day to herself after that.

Then she was scarred for life. She had to bathe one of the residents, and old man named Dirk Langstrum, who didn't talk to anyone.

She felt like she should talk to him at least, try not to weird him out while she tried not to look at him.

She was shy and nervous, after all, this was her first time seeing a naked man in real life, and her nerves seemed to humor him.

She let him wash himself mostly, embarrassed about touching him or anything, but one of the senior staff came into the doorway, checking on her.

"You have to help him, he's not as thorough as he once was," Deborah told her. Kerri's face flushed redder, until Deborah took pity on her. "Don't worry, he has a loofa on a stick so you don't have to get into the shower with him." She handed it to her and left.

Kerri put soap on the loofah and asked, "Can- can I help you wash your back?"

"Dumme kuh," he muttered to himself, just loud enough for Kerri to hear as he turned slightly. {dumb cow}

This irked Kerri. "Excuse me? Ich bin nicht ein dumme kuh, Ich willst zu helfin dich," she told him, making him glance at her in shock. {I'm not a dumb cow, I want to help you}

After that, Dirk seemed to prefer her over the other staff, probably because none of them spoke German, and while she was limited in her conversation, she could muddle though basic things, so of course, she became the one who bathed him when she was there on Saturday mornings.

* * *

Kerri sat in the library behind the desk, watching the library for Dr. McCoy while he was in the lab.

She was finishing her homework, which sucked, since it was Saturday after her shift at the group home. She was writing in her notebook when Kurt came to the desk. "Hallo, Kerri," he said.

She looked up, her heart beating a little faster. She couldn't stop herself from being excited, it felt like forever since she had seen him. "Hello," she said, trying to sound blank.

"I vas looking for a book," he said, but he was bluffing.

"You came to the right place," Kerri said, wishing she didn't want to talk to him so much.

They were silent for a moment as Kurt stared at her face.

He wanted to kiss her desperately, but knew he had to keep a hold on himself. He couldn't do that, especially not here, at the school.

Kerri startled him out of his reverie when she asked, "What book are you looking for?"

"Oh, ah, it vas," he tried to think of a book title and out of the corner of his eye he saw Scott coming closer to the desk, wearing something close to a scowl. "I have to pick up several copies of a play for zhe drama class," he told her.

"Do you know which one?" She asked, watching Scott get closer.

"Zhe taming of zhe shrew," Kurt pulled out of thin air, trying to sound as if he had a legitimate reason for being there.

"Ok, let me look in back to see if we have a bunch. Be with you in a moment, Professor," she told Scott as she went into a back room and looked for a stack of books to make Kurt go away.

It was dangerous to be this close to him; she wanted to kiss him so much that she was almost ready to jump across the desk to reach him.

It had only been the first trimester since she had kissed him, but her body was already ready to throw caution to the wind, and never mind if Scott was there, she could handle him...

Probably...

Maybe...

She found the stack of books she was looking for, right next to the Diary of Anne Frank, and carried them out to the desk.

When she walked out, she saw that Scott had left, and Capra had arrived. She was standing close to Kurt, but not touching, except her hand on his arm.

Kerri dropped the stack of books on the counter, making a solid thud, and making Capra jump back from Kurt an inch.

She was no longer interested in kissing Kurt right now.

Or, maybe she was, maybe she'd kiss him right in front of her, make him hold onto her, say her name, then pull back to see the look on Capra's face. Maybe gloat.

"How many do you need?" She asked instead.

They counted out thirty and Capra took half of them, saying, "I'll help you carry them, Professor."

Kurt gave Kerri a look, like he wanted to say something else, but she took the rest of the books and turned away from him. The two of them left as Kerri went to put the extra books back.

She was so frustrated, and she didn't have anyone to talk to about it. She just wanted to punch something, or yell how she felt right in his ear.

She set the books back on the shelf, right next to the Diary of Anne Frank, and as she looked at the book, something came back to her; Professor Xavier had told her, "many people who feel they don't have anyone to talk to keep a journal or a diary."

Maybe writing her feelings down would help. She quickly walked out to the desk and pulled out a fresh notebook. She opened the cover and started writing.

'I can't stand it, I hate that stupid girl! She just comes up to him whenever she wants, flaunting it in front of me as she touches him. And him, just letting her. He doesn't even have the decency to avoid me while it's happening. He was so nice and kind and charming last year. What could have happened? Why doesn't he want to be with me anymore? Is something wrong with me?'

She wrote everything she could think, it started off upset and angry, but as she wore down the anger, her true feelings started to flow onto the page.

"I love him, still, no matter what he's done, I love him. I wish I didn't, it would be better that way. Then I wouldn't hurt, and I could get on with my life. Maybe date someone else. Maybe feel something when someone else kissed me. Poor Chance. He was such a nice guy, and I couldn't feel anything for him. I hope he finds someone that likes him..." her thoughts turned to the time after they had kissed, when they'd run into Peitro. "Quicksilver's name is Peitro. Strange as it is, he wasn't such a giant jerk when he was away from the other Brotherhood members. He has hit on me every time he's seen me, but I don't know if he's serious, why would he be? And he's really confusing."

She stopped writing, feeling better after writing some of her problems and confusion down.

* * *

Kerri was at work, it was after meds had been given, they had finished all of the paperwork, all of the cleaning was done, so Kerri was working on finishing her homework. She got through with her work and pulled out the book she was reading.

She became involved in the story, it was so interesting. But then it took a turn for the naughty.

The main characters were together in the midst of a disaster. They were in each other's arms, kissing, caressing...

Kerri's mind started to wander...

She was suddenly thinking of Kurt, holding him close, him holding her close, kissing, their lips pressing against each other's. Kerri thought of how it felt to run her hands over his soft, fuzzy skin, his lips as he trailed soft, gentle kisses down her throat...

Kerri's heart started beating faster, and she put the book down for a moment.

She started reading again after she had given herself time to calm down.

The couple in the book were trying to come to terms with what was going on around them, and they were kissing, saying they loved each other, more kissing, then, sexy things...

Kurt's hand was sliding down her back, pulling her close enough that even air couldn't get between them, any closer and they'd be inside of each other, or, to be more precise, he'd be inside of her...

Kerri quickly put the book back into her bag and pulled out the notebook she'd been writing in.

"I was reading a book, the characters were about to," she paused, not sure how to write it so it didn't sound like a child had written it, but also wasn't too raunchy. "Go all the way. Suddenly I could only think about Kurt and kissing him and touching him. I wish I could-" She stopped and scribbled out the last line. She didn't want to want to do that with him, she wanted to not think about him.

She was sure he was definitely not thinking of her...

Especially not while reading even slightly suggestive parts in a book...

* * *

Kurt was hanging from his bed, holding a book in his hands.

The pirate had just crashed in through the window of the castle the princess was being held in. He was there to save her from a marriage she didn't want, because they'd fallen in love when he'd rescued her from the other group of pirates that had kidnapped her and held her for ransom.

Glass shattered onto the ground, Godard stood in the mess and Elveline ran to him. She looked up into his eyes as he held her close.

"I knew that you would come for me," Elveline told him, her lips were begging to be kissed, and he didn't make her wait long.

Their lips and tongues tangled, his hands moved to hold her close...

Kurt pulled back to look into Kerri's passion hazed eyes, then kissed her again, leaving her lips to kiss down her neck, his hand moved up, massaging the area near her spine where her wings grew, and his name escaped her lips, and Kurt was...

Glad Kerri wasn't here. "Scheisse," he mumbled to himself, blushing despite being alone.

His mind had carried him away, taking his body with it. He was glad that he at least wasn't pressed hard against Kerri, embarrassing both of them.

He couldn't help himself, though, he loved her, his body loved her, and whenever he thought of kissing her, he remembered how good it felt to press against her, and that set his body to reacting...

* * *

Kerri went about life as normal, going to class, going to work, riding the bus most of the way home and walking the rest of the way.

There was also a lot of writing in the notebook she'd dedicated to her ramblings. Mostly about Kurt; how sad she was without him, how she wished she could be by him, kiss him, on one page it even described a dream she'd had about him, nothing too risque, but enough for her to wake up with a quickly beating heart.

In the Danger room, she fought Logan, practicing shifting into different forms, the jello-y one to avoid cuts, her battle form for flying, but she tried to stay mostly herself, only letting her tail and ears out, giving her better balance and hearing. She was doing it to be able to fight in confined spaces where her long tail and wings would be too awkward.

Two weeks passed this way, and one Saturday morning, Kerri went about business as usual.

Charles had called Kurt to his office again, and, after pleasantries, as he sat in a chair across the desk, Charles began explaining.

"It has been about a month since Kerri has started her job at the group home, and I'd like someone to check up on her. Just a general check up, like the last one, to make sure she is settling in and everything is alright. Could you help me with this again?"

"Yes, Professor, I vould be glad to help you vizh zhis," Kurt told him. He got the address and was on his way.

When he arrived at the address, he was momentarily confused; this place looked like a house, not a business. Did she really work here? But he went up to the door and knocked.

A woman in scrubs with a large bun answered the door. She brushed a few strands of loose hair out of her eyes and said, "Hello, how can I help you?"

Kurt hesitated, but told her, "Hallo, I am Kurt Wagner, Professor Xavier sent me to come check on Kerri and see how she is doing... Is she here?"

The woman smiled almost conspiratorially. "You must be the one she keeps writing about in that notebook. She's here, but she's taking a shower with Dirk right now."

Shock flooded Kurt's mind.

Kerri was at work, taking a shower with a man? What else were they doing in there?! He sped off towards the sound of running water, leaving the woman behind as she called after him, "Hey, wait, you can't go in there!"

Kerri heard a commotion outside, in another room, and commented to Dirk as she helped scrub his legs with the loofah, "Sounds like someone's having a behavior. I'm glad I'm in here, aren't you?"

Kurt's ears picked up her voice, but he only caught, "I'm glad I'm in here, aren't you?" and his brain ran with it. He pushed open the door to see Kerri kneeling on a towel on the floor, facing the shower, and a naked old man.

They both turned to look at him as the door knocked against the wall. He took in what was happening; Kerri was fully clothed and had a scrubby in her hand, an old man was standing in the shower with soap and water running down him, and nothing seemed hinky...

He felt like an idiot.

Kerri found her voice after the initial shock of Kurt busting through the door at her work. "Kurt, what- what are you doing here?" She demanded, confused.

"Vell, I, ah, I came to check on you-" He started, but she interrupted him.

"Close the door, give the old man some privacy, I'll be out in a few minutes," she told him.

Kurt closed the door and followed the other woman back to the living room to sit on a couch. He could still hear Kerri talking through the door, which wasn't too far away.

What surprised him was that she was speaking German.

He hadn't heard her speak German in a long time, aside from calling him lehrer like it was a dirty word, but there she was, loud and clear. "Ver ist er," the old man asked, and she answered, "Ein mann, aus mein schule." {teacher. who is he? A man from my school}

The woman with the large bun was studying him as he sat and waited on the couch. "So, what do you do for a living?"

"I am a teacher at zhe school," Kurt told her.

She leaned away a little, unsure how to take this news; if this was the man Kerri kept writing about in her notebook, and he was a teacher...

The word inappropriate came to mind.

And jail time.

"So," she tried to push these thoughts away. "You look a little young to be a teacher, what do you teach?"

"Drama," Kurt told her. "I'm only a student teacher zhis year, but next year I vill be a teacher."

"Ah," the woman said, nodding. They both turned and looked as the door to the bathroom opened and Dirk slowly walked out, fully dressed, heading down the hall while Kerri followed, holding a basket full of laundry. "I'll just take that from you and get it started," she said as she stood, seeming relieved for an excuse to leave.

Kurt stood as Kerri came into the room. "What do you want, Kurt?" She asked.

"Vell, zhe Professor asked me to come check on you," he started.

"So you bust in on me while I'm showering a client?" Kerri asked him, sounding agitated. In reality, she was just trying to not want to kiss him.

Her hand started shaking. Her withdrawal was getting worse...

"I'm sorry, she said- she said zhat you vere taking a shower vizh him," he felt like an idiot again, having jumped to such a conclusion.

"We say that because it's almost like getting a shower yourself," she gestured to her wet clothes. "I thought you knew me better than that, we were together for almost a year." She looked away. Her tone was blankly dismissive, and it rubbed him the wrong way. It rubbed him the wrong way even more because he knew she was right.

He gathered his anger and told her, "Vell, I'm sorry; you von't talk to me, und I haven't even seen you for almost a monzh because you are avoiding me, how do I know vhat you are like now? And she said zhat you vere taking a shower vizh him. Zhose vere her vords. Any sane person vould have gotten confused, and vhat vas I going to do, let zhe voman I love take a shower vizh anozher man?"

He was coming closer and closer to her. Her breath started getting heavy and fast, her hands clenched around her pants to stop them from grabbing his shirt and pulling him close. He was so close she could almost feel his body heat, now.

"Don't..." her breath came out as a whisper. She swallowed and tried again. "Don't say that... As if you love me," there was pain in her self depreciating voice, but she tried to plow on ahead. "Just stop-" She stopped, though, as he grabbed onto her arm.

"I do love you, Kerri. I couldn't stand zhe zhought of you going out vizh zhat boy, zhe vone in zhe van. I vanted to take him into zhe danger room and put zhe setting on ten. Und Qvicksilver," he shook his head at the thought of him. "I zhought I vas going to explode und punch him in zhe drivevay..." His voice grew calmer as he spoke.

He wanted to kiss her, wanted to show her how much he loved her. His body leaned in slightly, trying to go in for the kiss that was coming.

Her breath was coming faster, she wanted him to kiss her, just a little closer and it would happen, a little closer and his lips would touch hers...

Just a little closer and they'd-

The sound of a footstep coming up the stairs brought them back to reality, and Kurt jolted back. "I have to go," he said and rushed away, out through the door, and Kerri watched him hurry away down the sidewalk, most likely heading for somewhere he could teleport from.

Bernidette came into the room and looked at her, noticing that Kurt was gone. "So, is that guy gone?" Kerri nodded, and so did Bernidette. "Is he the one you write about all the time?"

Kerri looked at her with a slightly guilty look in her eye. "I don't write about anyone..." She denied, but Burnidette just smiled at her knowingly. Kerri looked away and started out of the living room. "Excuse me, I just thought of something I need to do..."

"What's that, get away from me?" Bernidette teased her.


	9. You scare my mother, prepare to die

**[AN: Happy new chapter! The full name is "My name is Domingo, you scare my mother, prepare to die..." This chapter gets kinda tense... But hopefully not too tense for you. I hope you enjoy it, please feel free to review, message, or just read! Also, anyone know where the title came from? lol.]**

* * *

Kerri fumed all morning at work. And on the bus on the way home. And on the walk home from the bus stop...

How dare Kurt just come in to her workplace and tell her he loved her...

It had to be a lie...

It couldn't be true...

It just couldn't...

He was with that stupid girl, Capra, and he didn't love her. There was no way.

That stuff about being upset when she had gone out with Chance, all lies. It had to be.

She worked herself up into an angry mood. She might fall for it if she wasn't mad, and being angry was better than hurting.

She walk up to the gate, and pushed the button on the panel a little harder than necessary. It was a new panel, they'd had to replace it after Magneto and the others had attacked last year; Magneto had just pulled all of the metal inside around and disabled the system. Now it had a camera and a screen so that you could see the person on the other side. It was also set to trip if it went offline without a code.

Ororo's face showed on the screen, and she wished Kerri a welcome home as she opened the gate for her.

Kerri went straight to the danger room, hoping that she could find someone to run it for her, preferably Logan, he always let her actually attack the targets, not just stun them.

As she walked down the hall, almost to the danger room, she saw him. "Logan, can I come in with you?" She asked as he opened the door.

Logan turned back and saw the angry agitated look in her eyes. "Hurry and go change, Kid, I ain't waitin' long."

Kerri went into the locker room and threw her clothes into her locker, pulling on her training suit and heading out the door. She entered the chamber as Logan came back down from the observation room and threw his shirt on the ground.

He got into a stance and prepared for her to come at him. "Whenever you're ready, Kid."

She was so mad by this time, she had been fuming all day trying to keep her anger at a simmer so she didn't yell at Bernidette, she couldn't even make a plan of attack. She just reached back and let her fist fly forward.

This actually surprised Logan, she only ever outright attacked when she'd been taken past the point of reason, she usually tried to come up with clever little plans to fool him.

Kerri's fist connected with Logan, but it still wasn't tough enough to make him fall over. He brushed her off, but she came back. She punched and punched, only aiming enough to go toward somewhere that wasn't being blocked. Logan let her work off whatever steam was built up.

She managed to land a good punch in his gut, if he weren't himself, she would have knocked the wind out of him and he would have been on his back. "Geez, Kid, you and the Elf have a fight or something?" He grumbled.

He hadn't meant anything by it, but she burst out, "He's a liar!" She punched him again and again. "He's a liar, you can't believe anything he says..."

"What are you talking about?" Logan asked as he effortlessly blocked her.

"He said he loved me, but he has someone else he likes... Maybe I should just let her have him," she was mumbling now.

"Kid, don't do that. You really think it would be better that way?" He asked.

"Maybe..." Her punches were weakening.

"Speaking as somebody who's been there, I can tell you that it's not easy," he said gruffly.

She looked up at him. Her emotional shield had slipped a little due to her own emotions, and she could feel what he meant.

Her eyes widened a little.

The emotion coming from him was more than painful, it was almost torturous. It was something he usually kept hidden, and she had no idea why he had let it loose for her to feel.

"Who-" She stopped, it was so painful, and this was Logan, she really didn't expect an answer.

"Jean." It was one word. Nothing more, nothing less, and it was the truth.

She didn't know why he told her.

She could feel the emotions, a little of the story:

He loved Jean. He loved her so much that he had stepped back and let Scott have her, because she was afraid and wanted to make the safe decision.

Not because he didn't love her; because he loved her so much that he wanted her to be happy, even if it cost him his own happiness.

Kerri's eyes started watering, blurring her vision as she weakly tried to hit him still. "How could she do that? He's a stupid- he... He at the least doesn't deserve her..."

She punched more fiercely, now, trying to push her anger away. She hit Logan again and again, but never connected, she was getting sloppy. Her hand was easily deflected again as he repeated, "Don't do it, Kid." Tears started rolling down her cheeks, out of her control, and Logan moved her hands away from him, she had stopped punching.

He turned and walked away from her, picking his shirt up, he tossed it to her. "Here, clean yourself up, Kid."

Kerri took it and wiped her face off, embarrassed that she'd lost control over her emotions.

Logan walked to the doors, and as they opened he told her, "Listen to me, Kerri. Don't end up like me."

He walked out, leaving her there alone, and she was stunned.

That was the first time he'd ever used her real name.

At the same time, Kurt was in his room, sitting on the bars of his bed.

The tv was playing a movie, but he wasn't watching it.

He was too busy thinking about what had happened at the place Kerri worked; he'd had a hold on her, and for all her talk, she hadn't been trying to get away, or even evade the kiss that had been hanging heavily in the air between them.

She must still love him, no matter her words.

After Kerri had cleaned herself up, she tossed Logan's shirt in with her laundry and went to do the grocery shopping.

A few days later, Kerri held Logan's shirt in her hand, freshly laundered and folded, and walked up to him as he talked to Dr. McCoy in the hall.

She silently approached him and when she had gotten his attention by silently touching his arm, she handed the shirt to him, then quickly walked off, a blush evident on her cheeks.

Scott was a ways away in the hall, but he still saw this.

He speedily made his way over to the two other staff in time to see the questioning look on Hank's face and hear Logan say, "-borrow it to clean up. She had a hard time in the Danger room the other day, she was upset."

"Is that right? Or did she wear it out of your room?" Scott asked as he butt into the conversation.

The two men looked at him, shock obvious on Hank's face. Logan glared at him hard and growled demeaningly, "I don't know what you're thinking in that sick head of yours, bub, but it ain't true." He shook his head in disgust and walked off, saying, "stop looking for reasons to hate the Kid."

* * *

The whole next week, Kerri thought about what had happened.

When Kurt had gone to her work, he'd acted like a normal man would, right? Not any pretending liar...

And Logan had told her not to give up on him...

It didn't make any sense, though. If Kurt loved her, why was he with Capra?

But if he liked Capra, why did he keep coming over to her?

And if he liked both of them, why didn't he just say so and let them figure it all out?

And if Capra wanted a fight... Kerri could lay her out. Maybe. She wasn't sure what her mutation was, if she was a strong psychic, Kerri supposed that she'd have to resort to punches.

And why was Logan telling her not to give up? This wasn't like a physical battle, where that would make sense from him. And what was the deal with his sudden tender heart?

She'd known him for a year, and she knew he was deeper than he let on, letting his gruffness keep people away, but she'd never figured him for a self- sacrificing bleeding heart.

This thought always made her laugh when she thought it, because she knew if she ever voiced it and he heard, she'd be dust in the ground.

All of these thoughts and arguments distracted her to the point of clumsiness all week, ultimately leading to her next problem...

Kerri was at work, sitting in a chair, filling out the paperwork from that day. It was nine forty-five, fifteen minutes until the end of the shift.

She got everything done, put away, and closed up, right as the grave shift walked in.

She hurried out to catch the bus to go home. She waited for a few minutes in the dark but finally it came and she climbed on.

As the bus made it's way down the road, she started thinking again about what Logan had said in the danger room. He wanted her to have a good and happy life, not like his.

They pulled over at a stop almost half a mile from the school and she got off of the bus, pulling her heavy coat closer around her in the cold, almost February air. 'At least there's no snow on the ground,' she thought.

She walked through the dark for twenty minutes, but made it to the gate, led by the dim lamp lights. She pushed the button and a moment later Dr. McCoy's face showed on the screen. "Good evening, Kerri, have a good afternoon at work?"

"Same as every day," she told him and walked through the gate as it opened.

Dr. McCoy pushed the button to close the doors, sitting for an extra moment in front of the screen, and thought he saw a flash of something go past.

A wild animal, or a bird landing, surely.

Kerri had hardly gotten three feet inside the gate when she heard a strange noise behind her. She was about to turn and look, but someone caught her in their arms, pinning her arms against her sides, restraining her against their body.

She was caught by surprise; why would someone grab her inside of the gates?

People inside the gates were mostly ok, it was the people on the other side that she needed to be wary of.

She was quiet as she tried to figure out what was going on and not panic.

"I found you, at last," a mans voice said in her ear.

"Why did you need to find me?" She asked making a note that the voice didn't sound familiar.

He had her so tight that she was having a little trouble breathing easily.

He ignored her question, asking one of his own. "Do you remember my mother?"

"I don't know who your mother is," she said, testing his grip on her. She couldn't break it easily, this man had gotten her good, if only she could get her arm out...

Wait, she didn't need to bother with that. She could just fall into her old habit; turning into his fear.

Her mouth turned up in a half smile, and she asked, "I'm getting bored. What is your biggest fear?"

She didn't get anything from him, but chalked it up to his self satisfaction and adrenaline. She was going to turn into something scary anyway, something big that would break through his grip.

She closed her eyes, taking an image in her head, and pressed her body out.

Nothing happened.

She opened her eyes and looked down.

She tried again, but still, nothing happened.

She was starting to panic a little. What was going on?

"Starting to realize, huh? I've learned your little trick, you can't change if I can't see you, right? I've been watching you for a while, ever since you scared my mother so badly they had to sedate her. They were calling her crazy, because she kept saying she had seen a mutant. That old bat, Mrs. Emillo wouldn't back her up, so they just kept sedating her. She's laying in bed, sedated, not even able to get up and go to the bathroom, and you get to walk free. A mutant freak, free to walk where you like and spread your disease." She could hear anger, hatred, and disgust in his voice.

She was really worried now. Even if he was closing his eyes, touching him should make him feel the transformation enough for it to happen.

Of course, it was freezing outside and she was wearing a big puffy coat, and he probably was too. Cancel out touch as well, and her powers were almost useless.

Her breath started coming quickly as her mind floundered.

She had never thought about something like this happening. Of course, it was always a possibility, especially if she was trapped somewhere, but to be held against her attacker and not be able to do anything?

She knew she had a habit of asking what people's worst nightmares were and turning into them, but now she had just found one of hers.

What was she going to do?

What could she do?

She was helpless, a helpless, hopeless little girl caught in this man's arms, and there was nothing she could do.

He could rape her, kill her, disfigure her, kidnap her, lock her in a box and bury her in the ground alive...

Really, do whatever he pleased with her. "What are you going to do to me?" She asked nervously, her voice fighting panic breathlessly.

"I'm going to do what should have been done to you when you were born. They can test for the muttie gene at birth now, you know. They should test for that, just like they do with everything else, and weed out the freaks like you." He was trying to move her now, but she was tenaciously making it difficult, stepping on his feet so he couldn't move, wiggling so he had a hard time holding on, after all, he was doing this blind, and she could see.

At least she could do that...

It took her a few more stomach churning, blood chilling, terror filled moments, but she finally caught her breath after her almost panic attack, and she was ready for him now.

Or she could pretend she was, anyway.

He might have taken her ability to effectively use her powers, but she was a trained fighter, and while it might be a challenge to be at a disadvantage and fighting someone so much bigger than her, the mighty Wolverine was her mentor, and she was used to those conditions by now.

He was still talking in her ear, telling what a horrible creature she was, how she and her kind didn't deserve to exist and share the earth with humans.

She dug her feet into the ground and stopped him from moving. He tugged, but she didn't move.

"You know what's wrong with bigotry? It's blind, like you. You don't even know what I'm doing right now, I could have already changed into something and now I'm ready to kick your ass..."

"You haven't. You're bluffing because you're scared. You should be. I'd take your last words, if the last words of a monster meant anything," he taunted her.

Kerri's toes curled in her shoes angrily. She wanted to tear out his guts right now. She took a deep breath and let it out.

"You're messing with the wrong girl, buddy," she told him.

She stomped on his foot as hard as she could, but he had steel toed boots on, and laughed at her.

She didn't let that get to her, she kicked backwards and hit his ankle as hard as she could muster.

He let out a curse and she bowed her head forward, smashing it back as hard and fast as she could manage, catching him in the nose.

"Ah! You bitch! You broke my nose!" His arms loosened a little, and she elbowed him in the ribs with enough force that she hoped she had cracked one.

The Professor, Jean, Beast, Storm, and Cyclops were hurrying down the lawn to her, alerted that something hinky might be going on by Beast, but she didn't see them as she turned and saw the man who had caught her.

His eyes were still closed, and his short tightly curled dark hair was messy. His hand was on his nose, blood running through his fingers. He was tall, and his thick brown coat made it hard to tell exactly how well muscled he was, but he'd obviously spent years in a physical trade, which was why he'd been able to hold her so tightly.

She pulled her arm back and landed an open handed slap across his cheek so hard his head turned and his nose came free of his hand, making blood gush a little more.

"You're the one who doesn't deserve to exist with humans on the earth, you filthy scum," she told him with as much force as she could.

His head turned back to her, and his eyes opened as he automatically watched for another physical attack.

She took her chance; she could hear people coming now, and she wanted to leave, her false bravado draining from her. "You should think better of attacking "defenseless" little girls before you try it next time." She leapt into the air, her cat body leaving her clothes as they fell to the ground.

She turned and ran as fast as she could to the door, getting in and going straight to her room, huddling in the corner, stuck because she couldn't open the door, no one was there to open the door or see her for her to change, and even if they were, she'd be naked in the middle of the hall, and that wasn't the most appealing thing either.

Kurt hurried toward the gate, teleporting forward quickly and arriving in seconds.

He'd received a mental call from the Professor, telling him that Kerri had been attacked at the gate, and had hauled ass.

As he appeared next to Jean, Storm, and Xavier in a cloud of smoke, he looked around, seeing only a pile of disheveled clothes on the ground, and a bag.

"Vhere is Kerri," he demanded.

"Don't worry, Kurt, she made it away. She went into the school, I believe, most likely to her room. Please take her clothes and go check on her," Xavier told him.

Kurt picked up Kerri's things and teleported his way back to the school, close to her room.

He quickly walked the last few feet, and saw a grey tabby cat with more of a swirled pattern and white feet sitting in the corner, looking afraid to leave it.

"Kerri?" He asked.

She went to the door and put her paw on it. He opened it for her, and she ran in, diving under the sheets on the bed.

He stepped in to put her clothes and bag on her desk, and saw a shape grow under the sheet on the bed.

Kerri grew out, kneeling on the bed, facing away from him, holding the sheet to herself in front, mostly covered in the back, too, by a sheet and her hair.

She was safe, no thanks to him. Now all he wanted to do was go to her, hold her in his arms, kiss her, tell her he loved her and that it was alright, he was here to protect her... but he couldn't, wasn't allowed.

He pulled his feelings closer to him, trying to be satisfied with the knowledge that she was ok and safe.

He was sure that she wouldn't want him to be there. She didn't want to be near him at all lately.

She was also naked in front of him, with only a sheet on. He blushed and looked away.

He turned and was about to leave when her voice stopped him.

Kerri had been panicked, scared for her life, terrorized, and she still felt a little scared. She'd pushed her powers away for such a long time, who would have thought that not having them at her beck and call tonight would have rattled her as much as it had.

"Kurt," she heard him stop moving as she called his name. He turned back to look at her back as her voice came out in an almost whisper, "What's your biggest fear?"

"Kerri," he took a step forward at the terrorized pain in her voice, but stopped himself from rushing to her, even though it pained him to stay away. "Don't you know? I love you. My biggest fear is you being in danger and not being able to protect you... Like tonight..."

Kerri's eyes closed, to keep the tears in.

She didn't say anything, and after a moment, Kurt turned and walked out, softly closing the door behind him as the first tear rolled down her cheek.


	10. Reves les plus fous

**[AN: Oh my freaking god... After today, I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow. Why does quitting feel like getting fired? First I had to decide which shift I want to work for the next rest of my life, then I had to decide if I wanted to quit my other job, then I had to buy two new tires for my van, then I had to go tell my client that this is the last day I'll see her. She had a panic attack when I cut my hours, but today, I'm surprised at how well she kept it together, but I did see her crying... Also, it was said that I'm a great catch, as a wife, not as an employee lol. Wow... twelve hours of making that flow and trying to sort it out before other stuff, then Monday I start again. Anywho, let's just get on with the story, right?! lol. Please enjoy, feel free to review, message, or just read!] [AN2: OMG! I thought I had put this out last week! Sorry guys! :O]  
**

* * *

Kerri was excused from classes the next day, and the next.

Luckily she was only a part-time part timer at the group home and when Professor Xavier called to explain that she wouldn't be in, they could cover her easily.

She stayed in bed for most of the next day, which was Friday.

When she got up, she got ready and went down stairs to go catch the bus.

Ororo saw her and stopped her in the hall. "Kerri, where are you going?"

"To work," she answered. Her voice was distracted and dull. The whole time she had been off, she had been in her room, asleep, or too scared to sleep, as every time she drifted off she had nightmares.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Ororo could tell how hard it had been on Kerri; when she'd brought her some breakfast the morning after the incident, she hadn't answered the door. When she had opened it, Kerri had been sitting on the bed, wrapped up in a sheet, but naked. There were tear stains all down her face, and her hair was a mess from rolling on it as she tossed and turned and tangling her fingers in it. Her eyes were unfocused and bloodshot, staring into the space where her bedpost was. When the light from the hall had spilled in on her, she jumped.

"I have to get back on the horse. I'm not going to let him win." Anger and defiance was in her voice, now. 'No matter the nightmares, I know I'm strong. I kicked his ass in the end... Even if it took a minute...' She thought.

Ororo watched her go, closing the door in the fading afternoon light.

Hank was coming down the stairs, but stopped next to her as she watched the girl walk down the driveway through the window. "I could put myself at Logan's mercy. If I hadn't just brushed it off at first..."

Ororo turned to look at him. "But, you alerted Charles, and got the rescue into motion," she said.

"Ten minutes. For ten minutes I wondered if it was anything to worry about before I finally called Charles," he said with a tone of sorrow. "She didn't even need our help by the time we got there, and who knows what would have happened if I had not done anything at all..." The real question was hidden; 'What if I had done nothing and she hadn't been able to save herself?'

Ororo heard it, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "She is Logan's student, and there is a reason for that. She can handle herself in severely adverse conditions, even if she doesn't realize how fully, yet. He's made sure of that."

"I'm just surprised she didn't do more to harm him than a broken nose and a bruised rib," Scott said from behind them, but his tone was gentler than usual.

"I am personally amazed at how fast she recovered," Charles said from the other side of the room as he came in through the hall. "It makes me wonder what other extremely horrible things she's been through to be ok so fast."

"Don't worry, Professor, that's a tolerance that's been built up over a long period of time, leaving painful memories behind, but no physical scars," came Logan's voice from a shadowy doorway by the stairs.

"I think we can all agree that mental scars are usually the worst ones," Charles commented to everyone, but no one in particular.

* * *

Kerri walked through the door of the house and clocked in. She headed straight to the office and found Mandy at her desk, thankfully.

Mandy looked up in surprise. "Kerri, I thought for sure that you'd be out today and tomorrow, I even got someone to cover your shift."

"I'm sorry that I didn't come in for the past few days..." Kerri started, but didn't know what to say, or how to explain.

Mandy patted a chair next to her. "Come sit down, honey. Professor Xavier called and said that you'd been assaulted by a maniac and that you needed some time. What happened?"

Kerri sat down next to the older woman and took a moment, but told her most of what had happened, leaving everything out about powers and mutants. "I thought for sure he was going to kill me, or at least try..."

"Those anti mutant nuts are getting out of hand," Mandy said, making Kerri look up at her in surprise. "It was someone who was anti mutant, wasn't it? A protester or something?"

Kerri shook her head slowly. "Well, kinda... His mother was at the nursing home I worked at before..." She sounded unwilling to give the information.

Mandy smiled at her and smoothed a hand down her back. "You're not the only mutant here, Kerri. I've known Charles for a long time, if only in passing." Kerri would have looked surprised if she hadn't been stuck in the Twilight Zone for a whole day and gone another day without sleep. "Here, let me help relax you," Mandy put her hands out and Kerri hesitantly took them.

She pulled her close into a tight embrace and stroked her hair. Kerri felt like she was being put into a trance. Her mind went blank, her nerves relaxed, her muscles untensed.

When Mandy let her go, she felt like she'd just gotten the best rest she'd ever had. She reached up and ran a hand through her hair, but found that it was smooth, not frizzy or tangled like she thought it would be.

"I help people's potential beauty rise to the surface, it has an after effect of having been asleep for a long time. Are you sure you're ready to return to work?" Mandy asked.

"Well," Kerri's hands went to her lap. She felt guilty after Mandy had just done something so kind for her. "Actually... Because that guy's vendetta was personal, and he followed me... I think I have to quit... For everyone's safety, just in case he told anyone else..."

Mandy's eyebrows rose up her forehead. "Well, if you feel that way, I suppose you know what's best. I can't blame you for thinking about everyone here. I know Dirk will miss you; you're the only one who speaks German," she laughed.

Since there was someone there to cover her for the rest of the day, she headed back to the school.

She decided to walk the whole way, to give her some time to think about what she was going to do now.

She had gone through two jobs in less than six months, no one was going to hire her...

Maybe she should stop trying to have a job. Every time she was doing ok, it was messed up because she was a mutant...

How was she going to be able to move out of the school after she graduated? She had to move out. She still wasn't sure about what Kurt had said, or how Logan had defended him, but maybe time apart would help...

Who was she kidding? She was distant from him now, and it hadn't helped at all.

She was passing an abnormally reflective window and stopped as she caught a side glance of her reflection.

Mandy's words came back to her,_ "I help people's potential beauty rise to the surface."_

And boy did she...

Kerri's hair was nice, not limp or tangled, full bodied, shiny, even in the ponytail it looked good. Her cheeks were rosy smudges on her almost pale face, her eyes stood out like sparkling pools of the sea, her lips were like pale rose petals...

In her eyes, she wasn't beautiful, not by any means, but cute, she could maybe pass for cute...

She pulled out her pony tail and watched her hair bounce as it flowed over her shoulder and she flicked her head, making it flash as it moved to cascade down her back. She leaned closer and her fingers moved to her cheek, trying to see if this was reality or illusion.

"Hey, babe, you're gorgeous enough, you comin' to apply for the job?" A deep New Jersey accent asked aways from her left.

She turned and looked at him in confusion. "Job?" She asked.

He wasn't much shorter than her, maybe 5' 5", wearing an apron over a slightly worn and dirty white shirt and black and white striped pants, his belly stuck out quite a bit, and his greying hair was only around the sides of his head. "Jeez, always brains they send us," he muttered to himself, but loud enough for her to hear. "Yeah, sweetheart, the job that's advertised in the window you're lookin' at."

Kerri looked back to the window and sure enough, a few inches lower, there was the sign saying help wanted.

It couldn't be that easy, could it? Just walking by a place hiring and getting offered a job?

She looked back at the man. "What kind of job is it?"

"Well, we're lookin' for talent, but we need a few waitresses too," he said.

The way he said talent made her wary. "What kind of talent?"

"Don't worry, kid, I'd set you as a waitress, you actually have to be a little talented to be talent, this ain't no easy breezy strip joint," he told her.

She wasn't quite sure what to make of this. "Can you show me around? I'm still a little confused... I actually didn't come to apply, but I am interested in a job," she admitted.

He looked her over a few times, finally nodding his head like he was deciding on something, then turned and went through the door to the shop. "C'mon in, I'll show you the digs."

Kerri walked in and wasn't sure what to think.

There was a large room, plenty of tables and booths, a large stage that had a pole in the middle of it with two small raised catwalk like paths leading away from it, each had a small circle with a pole in the middle, and you could see that it had once been made to look like a woman opening her legs wide, a foot on each of the smaller stages at the top of the poles.

The stages were a sort of teal color and looked like they reflected lights, or were lighted, she wasn't sure. The floor was a dark wine red color. The structure above the stage and at the top of the poles that had been the woman's outstretched legs had been re-purposed; at the front, behind the main stage pole and at the apex, was a large neon sign that said, 'reves les plus fous' and all down the legs were different kinds of disco lights that would paint the room different colors.

"Rêves les plus fous?" She asked, and the man turned back to her.

"You speak French?" He asked.

"Non," she replied, in French because she was strange like that. "I just have a good accent."

He gave her a weird look, but continued walking to a large desk, a coat check of all things.

There was a girl in there, wearing a mid rif shirt, white with bright pink stripes down the cap sleeves and bold dark pink letters spelling 'Club Reves Les Plus Fous' across her breasts. The shirt was a little tight, so it did highlight them a bit.

"'Ey, Stacy, come out here and let this girl see the whole uniform, would ya'?" He asked her.

"Ye-ah," she said and came out from behind the counter. The rest of the outfit was as cover/noncover. Tight short shorts almost like old style gym shorts, going to mid thigh and the same bright pink as on the sleeves of the shirt with white stripes down the seems. She also had on pink running shoes that matched the rest of the pink.

"Shoes can pe pink or white," the man said. "Basically, waitresses wear this, go, get drink or food orders, come over here," he walked over to an order window and she followed, "drop 'em off, get the finished stuff, and take it to the tables. Not rocket science."

Kerri nodded. Definitely not going to need a degree to do that.

"The talent is mostly on the stage. It ain't a strip club no more. Was when I bought it, but I turned it into club reves les plus fous." His accent was horrible. "So, no bare strip stripping, a little, but never more than down to a bikini. Mostly the clients come in for the uniqueness of the club."

"And what's that?" Kerri asked.

"It's in the name, reves les plus fous; wildest dreams. We're kinda like a fetish club," he told her.

"Like, whips and chains?" Her eyes widened.

"Nah, well we do have a lady that does that, but that's not what we're all about. Everybody has different tastes, right? Some people like normal stuff, some people like princessy types, some like librarian type, cop types, you know, those you can find at a normal strip club. This is more about different things that get people off; some people like it when the girls ignore them, some like it when the girls call them somethin' specific, like master, or daddy, or that oh-knee chan stuff from that an-ee-may, some guys are into feet, not sure why, but they are. Hell, some of the guys are turned on by watchin' the girls eat food. So I get the diversest crowd of talent I can get, and open up shop, get it?"

Kerri nodded. An almost strip club that catered to fetishes not considered normal.

Probably got a lot of business.

"So, you interested in the job or what?" He asked, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Being a waitress?" He nodded and she looked over at Stacy again, thinking about the uniform. Not too horrible, she supposed. "Sure. I can carry food and take orders."

* * *

Everyone in the school had heard about the incident with Mrs. Domingo's son, who's name would probably be Mr. Domingo since they were related, and they stared at her, giving her looks of sympathy as she passed.

The strangest reunion by far, though, was the one with Logan.

They met at the door to the danger room after she had gotten changed to go in.

"You're here." It was a comment and had little emotional inflection to it.

"Yep," she answered.

"Good, try not to get thrown to the floor," he commented again before they started fighting.

That was it. She wasn't really surprised; other than that one fluke when he told her not to give up on Kurt, he never seemed to show emotions besides anger and indifference.

* * *

Kerri was sitting in Professor Xavier's office, on the usual couch.

"So, Professor... I've got something to talk about..."

Charles was surprised, she didn't usually volunteer information. "And what would you like to talk about?"

"I quit my job at the group home..." She trailed off.

"Yes, I received a call from Mandy informing me," he told her.

"I got a new job..." She trailed off again, unsure how to put the details.

He kept his eyebrows from raising up, but he was surprised. "Really," it was only a comment, but the interest was plain in his voice.

"Yes... I was just walking down the street and someone offered me a job... And I checked it out... It seems ok..." Her nerves made her drag it more than was needed.

"And what is this job?" He asked.

"Being a waitress... In a club," she said. He was silent as he waited for her to continue, but she didn't.

"What kind of a club is it?" He asked.

"It's... a dance club... Like, gogo dancing, no nudity beyond bikini, just different things people are into... It's kinda strange, but I'll just be serving drinks and food and stuff." She tried to explain it so it didn't sound dirty or disgusting. She wasn't sure, but she had a feeling that Professor Xavier wouldn't let any of the students work in a place like that.

"What do you mean, different things people are into?" Charles asked.

"The owner, Mr. Salerari, Sal, he said that some of the customers were interested in things that were considered a little strange... Like watching girls eat food, or feet. There's a girl who works there, and her job is to model different shoes, and she dances around like the other talent, but her main talent is that she has beautiful feet," Kerri smiled, thinking it was kind of silly.

Charles nodded. "And what would you be doing there?" He asked.

Kerri shrugged, and he could tell she wasn't hiding anything when she said, "Normal waitress stuff, taking orders, getting food and drinks, bringing it to people..."

"And what does your uniform look like?" He asked.

"Like the Hooters uniforms, I think..." Kerri said, trying to describe it. "A shirt, a pair of shorts, they look like the old-fashioned gym shorts, bloomers... And pink or white shoes."

"Is it something you would wear around comfortably?" He asked.

"Well, not really, but I wouldn't wear my training uniform around either. They're about the same, except without long sleeves," she said.

Charles thought for a moment, then nodded. "What are your hours?"

"Well, the club is only open from nine until two, but the staff have to get there at eight to get it ready to open and sometimes they stay late to clean, until three," she repeated what Sal had told her.

Charles was silent for another moment, knowing that if he tried to talk her out of it or forbid it, it would only make her more determined to do it, but he said, finally, "If it doesn't interfere with your schoolwork, I suppose it sounds alright."

* * *

Kerri had found a pair of white walking shoes to go with her uniform, and she made her way down the stairs to head out to the garage.

She was going to take a car, of course, there weren't any buses that late, and she didn't want to walk home at two or three in the morning.

She was wearing her normal clothes, expecting to get her uniform when she got there.

When she got to the club, she pulled around and parked in the lot behind the building.

When she entered the building, Kerri wandered a little, unsure where to go.

"Hey, hey you," a voice called from the coat check desk. She looked over and the girl there said, "We're closed, what do you want?"

"Oh, I'm new, I'm supposed to start today," she told her as she walked closer.

"Aoh, ye-ah, the girl from before. You got the wattressing gig, right? You look different," the girl, Stacy, said. Kerri nodded, standing next to the counter by now. "Sal told me to get you set up, come in the back with me," she stepped out from behind the desk, wearing a tank top this time, but the rest of her uniform was the same as before.

Kerri watched Stacy's shiny brown curls bounce as she followed her to a back room. Maybe she looked different because Mandy's effect of rising beauty had worn off.

They walked to the end of a hall and into a room that was carpeted all the way up the walls. One wall was covered with cubbies, while the opposite corner was a large vanity that wrapped around the corner, covered in make up, and two large hanging racks held costumes that looked like they had been freshly washed.

Stacy opened a closet door next to the bathroom on the same wall as they entered. Kerri followed her into the closet and saw cardboard boxes stacked there, a few shirts spilling out from the open tops.

"So, these are the uniforms, help yourself, shorts are over there," she pointed, "and you also have to keep your hair out of your face, y'know, so it doesn't get into the food. Anyway, take a few of the uniforms, they get dirty easy, get changed, Sal's in the kitchen when you're ready."

Stacy left, and Kerri dug through the boxes, finding a few long tops loose enough to not be skin tight, and a few shorts that were a little loose too.

She pulled the top on, and it was a little tight across her chest, but loose on her stomach, and the shorts were thigh length, and a little loose.

She headed to the kitchen and Sal showed her around, and they got ready to open.

Her first shift went well, but was very strange. She was the only waitress who wasn't wearing skin tight clothes; everyone else had on tight uniforms or costumes.

There was a vampire, a gothic lolitia, a tattooed girl, the girl who modeled shoes at one of the booths, a woman who wore a a short leather outfit, a cheerleader, a woman covered in piercings, and other costumes, too. The dancers, as they were refereed to by the waitresses, danced.

That's all. No one got down to anything less than a tutu and bikini top, and only a couple of the girl's did that, followed by a costume change.

Kerri was surprised how much the male customers seemed to like this, she thought that they would be upset because there was no nudity, but they seemed to eat it up.

The room was dark and the different lights flashed around, changing the colors of everything and everyone, making it hard to tell exactly what color food or drinks were when she delivered them, and it was hard to hear some times over the loud music.

She couldn't remember anyone's name, except Tammi, who she was shadowing, and Danni, one of the dancers. The other waitresses seemed to be giving her the stink eye, and as she went to the bathroom one time, she heard a couple of them whispering.

"Who does she think she is? Like the rest of us are sluts or something because our clothes are tight," girl number one said.

"Maybe she thinks she's too good for us," another snooty female voice said.

Kerri wondered why they'd think that, but she let it go. She had worked on not caring about what others thought about her, so she ignored them and went about her business.

She finished her shift and headed to the door, but Tammi caught her before she could make it. "Hey, that door's locked, we go out from over here." She walked out through the kitchen and Kerri followed her into an ally in between the neighboring building and the back wall of the kitchen. The only things in the ally were a dumpster and a couple of smaller trash cans by the door, and they had an easy time walking down to the end and into the visible parking lot.

"Where did Danni and the rest of the dancers go?" Kerri asked as they got to the lot.

"Oh, well all the "talent" clean is the dressing room, and then they get to leave," Tammi told her.

When Kerri got back to the school she felt like she was still wound up from all the loud dancing music and excitement.

As she paced the halls, Logan stopped her. "Hey Kid, you're kinda restless tonight, you need to work out some frustration or somethin'?"

"No, just still hyped up from work," she told him.

* * *

Kurt was sitting in the kitchen, staring into a mug of hot cocoa he held in both hands.

Kerri was on his mind, as usual. Her smile, which he hadn't seen in a long time, her laugh, also unheard since long ago, her lips as they came closer, the softness as they pressed against his, the feeling of her waist in his hand and her chest pressing against him as he pulled her close...

He shook his head to derail his train of thought, and his heart ached. She was the only woman he'd ever loved, and she had successfully been avoiding him for a few months, even if he had been able to see her a few times, more often than not she got away unseen.

Gambit sat next to him, holding a sausage wrapped in a sort of pastry crust. "So, mon ami, how you an' your little fille doin'?" He asked.

Kurt looked up at him then took a drink of his now cold cocoa to distract himself. "Zhe same, I still can't break zhe rules, you know..."

Gambit was about to start on him again about how important it was not to give up and keep trying, insisting that if he gave up she might think he didn't really want her, and that she might leave, but thankfully Kurt was saved from his weeks long lecture by Rouge entering the kitchen.

"Chere, you are as radiantly beautiful as ever. You wanna bite of ol' Remy's Cajun sausage?" He offered the food item to her with a suave and suggestive smirk.

"Remy, you get your Cajun sausage by my mouth, and I'll be sure to bite it off," she answered nastily as she grabbed a drink out of the fridge.

"Oh, Chere, you hurt me wit' your lack of faith in my manners. I only want to offer some of dis dat I ordered from New Orleans, just like mama used to make," Gambit motioned with the item in his hand, and Rouge left the kitchen with a disgusted snort. "She can't resist me," he told Kurt confidently.

Kurt felt a laugh coming, but took a drink of his cocoa to hide it. "Obviously, zhat's vhy she left..."


	11. Title on the inside

**[AN: Weird week so far... I've drawn the power puff girls and Professor Utonium, and did the Mojo Jojo voice for stuff at work... So over all... Just keeping me from writing and editing! lol. Anyway, here's the next chapter, I hope you guys enjoy it, feel free to review, message me, or just read!]**

**Anger, jealousy, and love, the most destructive forces.**

* * *

Kurt was in the danger room during a practice with the X-Men team.

Storm was flying, sending bolts of electricity at the holographic enemies, Jean was sending psychic blasts and throwing the enemies towards each other, Cyclops sent optic blasts at structures, causing them to fall and trap some of the enemies, Wolverine was over in a whole mess, causing catastrophe...

Kurt was grabbed from behind, he was surprised, and teleported randomly, appearing too high to land normally on the ground.

Wolverine grabbed the enemy on his back and pulled them over onto the edge of the building he was standing on, ripping the hologram's body off of him and throwing it away. "Keep your head in the game, Elf, I can't save your skin all the time," he growled as he knocked another enemy off the side of the building.

"Ja," Kurt blushed and teleported onto one of the enemies, teleporting them above a group and dropping him, another puff of smoke and he was knocking two guys through the air off of the building then another one, and he landed on one, holding on and rolling, stopping at the edge of the ledge and throwing the guy off.

The simulation ended, and they walked out, Logan pulled his cowl back as he and Kurt brought up the rear. "You gotta take a breath and forget about your problems when you're fighting, Elf. Otherwise you might not be alive enough to see who you're thinking about at the end of the fight," he said as he passed him, headed to the showers in the locker room.

Kurt followed more slowly. Logan was right. He needed to focus more during training, or he might accidentally teleport into someone or something, and there would be no coming home from that...

Then he'd never see Kerri again...

* * *

Kerri walked to the dressing room after her shift at the club. She felt like she was still buzzing with the music and energy from all the people who had been there.

She went to her cubby, expecting to find her clothes, but when she opened it, there was nothing except her coat and the bag she'd brought her uniform in, and it was empty.

She heard running water and faint giggling, and followed the sound to the bathroom doorway.

As she looked in, she saw her clothes, soaking in the sink.

"That'll teach her to think that she's better than us," she heard a voice from behind her.

Kerri closed her eyes, focusing on taking all her anger, gathering it into one spot, and letting it go, just letting it wash away. Interestingly enough, Logan had taught her this as a part of meditation training.

Tammi put a hand on her shoulder from behind. "Oh my gosh, who did this?"

Kerri opened her eyes and went to the sink, taking her clothes out and turning the water off before she wrung them out. "A couple of children," she answered.

Tammi helped her wring out her clothes, but they were far too wet to wear, especially in the February air.

"Don't let them get to you," Tammi told her as she pulled on her own jeans.

"They're just ridiculous," Kerri said as she pulled on her coat. She was going to have to wear her tiny uniform home.

"Yeah. You know, they'd go easier on you if you wore the uniform tight like everyone else," she commented.

"It's just uncomfortable to wear tight clothes, embarrassing..." Kerri told her. "I- I don't look good enough..." Kerri mumbled the last part.

"Sure you do, you know, I saw a couple of the customers looking at you, too," Tammi told her.

"Nah, I don't think so..." She took her wet clothes and pushed them into her bag.

"It might help to get used to wearing them around normally. How much did you make on tips today?" Tammi asked to change the subject.

Kerri pulled the wad from her bra, the only place to keep anything in her uniform, and counted it. "Eighty," she answered. "How about you?"

"Two hundred," she said as she moved it into her purse.

"Wow," Kerri said. "You're training me, how did you do that?"

"Well, it's about how the customers see you. You'll get more if you wear make up and do your hair all special, you know," she said.

"I um, I don't really know how to put on make up or do hair or anything..." Kerri admitted.

"What, really? You're eighteen, right? You never learned how to do make up or hair?" The shock was evident on Tammi's face, and Kerri shook her head in answer. "Here, come over here, I'll show you a couple things."

Kerri followed her to the huge mirror and watched as she took a cold curling iron and showed her some techniques to style hair.

* * *

Kerri pulled up into the garage. It was almost three thirty, and everyone should be asleep, she should be safe wearing her uniform in.

She got out of the car and grabbed the wet bag that held her clothes and made her way into the school.

As soon as she got in, she took off her coat and wrapped it around her bare legs, hoping to warm them up by rubbing them.

She heard the sudden sound of a glass falling on the carpeted floor, and thankfully not shattering.

She shot up dropping the coat and bag, her ears and tail escaping into reality as she looked up wide eyed at one of the other students.

He stared at her, especially her long looking legs and her chest in it's still semi tight shirt.

Kerri started feeling weird, no one had stared at her like that before, not even Kurt, or, at least he was gentleman enough to avert his eyes when he started thinking like that.

Finally his voice broke the silence, "Hi."

"Hi," she said, grabbing her coat and holding it up to hide herself and taking her bag as she ran up the stairs to her room.

When Kerri got to her room, she caught sight of herself in her mirror. She wasn't pretty like Tammi, her hair was just in a ponytail to get it out of her face, and her face was free of make up, but she could put some on, and she could put her hair up...

She'd never thought she could just look cute, but maybe she _could_...

Maybe get some decent tips...

When she woke up in the morning, she went through classes, but was distracted by planning how she could try to do her hair, getting dirty looks from Scott, concerned glances from Ororo, and interested stares from professor Xavier.

After class, she showered, shaving her whole legs, not just to the knee, then went to the Walmart with her tips from the night before, and found a curling iron, hairspray, and eyeliner, she ran out of money before she could figure out what else to get.

She got back to her room and dumped the contents in the bag onto her bed, ripping through the packaging and pulling out the items.

She spent three hours on her hair, trying to remember how Tammi had shown her to move it. After the first little bit, though, she had gotten an idea of how it worked to make it nice, the rest of the time was because her hair was now past her butt, since she didn't ever really get it cut.

She trimmed her own bangs, making them frame her face, and curled them a little to help them fall cutely without effort. 'This isn't so bad,' she thought, 'pain in the ass at first, but doesn't get messed up easily, so you don't have to keep worrying about it.'

She finished her hair, pulling it up and doing multiple small ponytails, then gathering them all into a ponytail on top of her head, so that the strain didn't hurt and pull her hair. She sprayed it with hairspray to try and keep the curls, going over it again to make sure it was still good. It was a nice effect; a high ponytail, her long, long, long, hair falling straight, and the last five to eight inches curled cutely.

She took the eyeliner and one of the pictures from the dance last year, trying to make the same pattern on her eyes.

It turned out ok, not awful, but still not beautiful. Oh well, it was her first time using it, who could blame her?

She pulled on her uniform, not going to take any clothes for the two girls to soak today.

The only problem was that everyone was still up, and probably around in the common areas she'd have to walk past.

She thought for a moment.

Before, last year, Kitty had told her to wear a long coat to cover up when they'd gone out to a club, did she still have it? She looked through her closet and triumphantly pulled out a long jacket.

It wasn't really warm, but she'd have a car.

She put it on, and it only went to mid thigh. 'Well, it's long, but not long enough...' She thought. She'd look like a flasher, wearing only shoes. She pulled out a pair of workout pants to wear under it, then looked at herself in the mirror and headed out.

She kept her head down as she passed the areas where other students were, trying not to draw attention to herself, but of course, here that only worked the opposite way.

The other students noticed her, even though they didn't say anything, and they noticed how she looked, too. Her eyes were highlighted, and she'd gotten them close enough to Kitty's work that they looked good, and her hair looked nice...

What was up? A date? Or, was she finally starting to care about how she looked?

When she got to work, Danni and Tammi were sitting in the dressing room while Danni put makeup on for the night.

Kerri walked in and they looked back at her. "Oh, you look cute!" Danni exclaimed. She was looking very cheery in her nurse outfit. The kicker being that she was almost finished with nursing school and actually knew all the terms and procedures, which is what the customers really wanted to hear.

They were strange fellows.

Kerri ducked her head and pulled her jacket and pants off, stuffing them into the cubby, and Tammi called her over to them.

"Kerri, come over here, Danni, can you believe that she doesn't know how to do make up?" Danni and Tammi showed her some stuff with the make up, painting her face to look young, cute, and natural.

When they were done, Kerri looked at herself in the mirror.

She was cute, really cute.

The whole rest of the week, Kerri made a lot more tips, bought make up and practiced using it, bought a long duster coat that hid her uniform, and showed up to class looking quite a bit more dressed up and pretty than usual, mostly due to hold over make up that she just couldn't quite wash off, which the other students noticed.

One day when she arrived at work, she saw a poster that said there was going to be a Valentines Day party on Valentines Day, and realized that Valentines Day was next week.

She'd completely forgotten.

As she drove home, she wondered; what was Kurt going to do for Valentines Day? Last year, they'd gone to a movie together, but this year, they couldn't be together.

Kerri really missed him, she thought about him all the time, no matter how much she tried to remember that he was supposed to be a liar.

She snuck through the door into the school.

She knew it was his night to be the hall monitor, and she decided to find him, see what he was doing. She snuck along the halls, but it wasn't until she walked along the outside wall, peeking around the corner to the spot they had watched the stars so often last year.

He looked unhappy, gloomy... maybe even depressed...

Her heart throbbed painfully at the thought that he hurt. She didn't want him to hurt.

Shouldn't he be happy? He had a girl for Valentines Day, she didn't have anyone...

But wait, if he was really with Capra, why was he moping over in their special spot? Was he thinking about her?

Kerri's heart throbbed with hope. If he was thinking about her, sitting in their special spot, maybe he really did still love her...

He did keep telling her he did...

Maybe she was just to afraid to believe him, afraid to get hurt...

She turned and went to her room, quietly so he didn't hear her.

Kurt watched as the stars glowed brightly above him.

He'd never really celebrated Valentines Day before he'd come here from Germany, not because they didn't have it, it was just hard to get a date when you looked like a fuzzy blue demon and all the girls screamed when they saw you.

His first Valentines Day in America, he'd asked a girl out, a normal human girl that didn't know he was a mutant, and they'd gone to a movie, but when it came to the end of the night and her hand had held onto his...

She hadn't been pleasantly surprised.

Then the year after that, he'd asked a fellow mutant, but when she kissed him, of course she found out what he really looked like, and, again, wasn't pleasantly surprised.

Then last year, he'd asked Kerri out.

It had been their first date, out to the movies, they'd watched a horror movie, and they hadn't kissed, or properly held hands, but it had been the best date in his life.

She was the odd one out, she seemed to really dislike it when he wore his image inducer, genuinely liking the way he looked...

He felt a squeezing in his heart. He wanted to plan something special for her, a real romantic Valentines Day...

If only he could.

Scott seemed to be keeping his eye on them, still.

'Kerri... Kerri Kerri Kerri, mein lieb, mein schatz...' he thought to himself as a shiver ran down his spine. He decided to go back inside where it was warm. {my dear, my... there's that word again! lol still not telling you until the climax!}

As he turned to stand, he thought he saw a flash of sandy strawberry-blond hair at the edge of the corner. He wished it was Kerri, but it was probably just wishful thinking on his part.

* * *

Kerri walked into the building where she worked, taking off her long duster and folded it a little before sticking it into her cubby.

She was distractedly thinking about if she should do anything for Kurt for Valentines Day, after all, she still loved him, even though she tried to stop, and if he really still loved her.. It would at least be nice to give him something...

"What's on your mind?" Tammi asked as she and Danni walked into the dressing room.

"Um... Just thinking about Valentines Day," she told them.

"Oh, you have a boyfriend?" Danni asked.

"Well..." Kerri didn't know how to explain the complicated situation, or if she wanted to.

"Ooo, I feel drama coming on," Danni said and, pulling Kerri over to a chair by the vanity so she could start putting on make up, exclaimed, "spill!"

Kerri tried to not tell them for a few minutes, but with these two, it was as impossible as trying to keep something from Kitty; eventually her guts spilled.

"Wow," was all they said.

"I- I can't... Wow..." Danni stuttered, staring at her in the mirror, her hand hovering in the air.

"Yeah," Tammi agreed. "That's tough... So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I keep seeing him with that girl, I don't even know how he really feels about me..." Kerri told her.

"Of course you do, he told you he loves you, and she's his student, right? Maybe she just has to talk to him about class," Danni said.

Tammi rolled her eyes. "You're such an air head, she's probably more interested in learning about bedroom studies from him than drama."

Kerri glared at the vanity table where her hand was.

"Don't say that, he sounds like a really nice guy," Danni tried to comfort her. "I think Tammi meant what are you going to do for Valentines Day?"

Kerri looked up at the kind but silly nurse in training. "I don't know, I'm still not allowed to see him."

"Well, you could leave him something, you know, something he'd know was from you, then he would at least know you still liked him," Tammi said.

"Yeah, maybe," Kerri said.

Valentines Day was upon them, and Kerri wandered around the school during her free period.

She decided to go find a something small for Kurt, having decided that maybe it was worth risking her feelings.

She wandered around the store for a while, finally finding something to get for him; a small box of chocolates with a chalkboard front and a small piece of chalk.

She made it back to the school with enough time to get ready for work and sneak over to Kurt's room to leave the candy.

She quickly touch up curled her hair and pulled it up into a ponytail, pulled on her little uniform, and large duster, then took the heart and tried to think of something to write on it.

'I love you is too bold,' she thought, 'hearts isn't telling...' She tried to think of the right thing to write, but she was having a hard time; this was the first time she'd gotten something for anyone. After a while she had it, and when she got done the front said, "To Kurt, from my heart, Kerri."

She nodded and put it into her large pocket, then, holding her duster closed, she made her way into the hall and over to the boy's dorm.

She snuck up the hall to his door and was about to put the chocolates down and ding dong ditch when she heard voices at the end of the hall. She hid behind the edge of a doorway, flattening herself against it, and tried to tell who was talking.

"Nein, I couldn't," Kurt's German accent floated to her.

"Don't be so modest, I just wanted to give these to you, you know, since it's Valentines Day. In America it's a day when everyone gives chocolate, not just boyfriends and girlfriends, so it's ok." It was Capra's annoying voice echoing down the hall.

"Vell, I guess," Kurt trailed off.

Kerri felt rage flow through her. Anger was flooding from her and she didn't care.

He was with that girl again. On Valentines Day.

Of course he was, how could she have thought any different? He didn't love her, never had, probably.

She took out the heart and spat on it, smearing her hand across it, trying to wipe it off. She didn't get it all off, but she didn't care. She thought, 'I got these for him, let him have them,' then threw it at the bottom of his door, hoping it would crack or scatter everywhere, she wasn't sure what she wanted, only that she was mad.

She stormed out of the hall and down the stairs, not noticing that her coat was open and flowing out behind her, showing everyone her uniform.

Kurt walked to his room, holding the big bag of candy kisses from Capra. He looked at them and sighed.

He didn't want to accept anything from her; the only one he wanted Valentines chocolate from was Kerri, but she was still avoiding him and wouldn't talk to him.

He was looking at the ground when he got to his door, and it was a good thing, because he might have missed the small heart shaped box on the floor if he hadn't been.

He picked it up and turned it over. He saw that the front was like a chalkboard and it said, "To Kurt."

The rest of it was streaky like something else had been there, but it didn't matter; he recognized the hand writing, and it belonged to Kerri.

She had gotten him something for Valentines Day. She was thinking about him today, the day of lovers.

His heart soared in hope and happiness. Maybe she wasn't as mad at him as she seemed; she had a pretty thick shell when they'd met, maybe she'd just gone back to self preservation mode.

When Kerri got to work she slammed the car door and went into the building. She jammed her coat into her cubby, and Tammi came up to her asking, "What's up?"

Kerri took a breath to calm herself down, not wanting to slip and grow a tail or anything. "Fuck him, that's what," she said as a pain pierced her heart. It hurt her to speak about him so harshly, and that made her madder. "He was with that other girl, I saw him. Stupid..."

Tammi put her hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

It turned out that the waitress's part in the Valentines shenanigans was to wear little cupid wings while they worked.

Kerri walked through the dark room and placed a large slice of cake on a table where a tiny blond sat, surrounded by five men who were waiting to watch her eat it.

Kerri shook her head as she walked away, to another table to take their order. The two men at the table looked her up and down, taking in her large, outgoing smile, then ordered, and Kerri went to the kitchen window to stick the order in. When they left, they left a nice tip.

She wasn't twenty-one, so legally she couldn't serve alcohol, but she took the orders and delivered any food or other drinks.

She spent the night running around, doing her job, and was the only one who didn't seem to have troubles with the added girth of the wings. One of the other waitresses, however, turned at the window and knocked a pitcher of soda on her.

Kerri took a sharp inhalation of air as the cold liquid washed down her. "I'm so sorry," the girl told her.

"It's ok," Kerri said, shaking her hands and shorts before following Sal's order and going to the dressing room and digging in the boxes for a dry uniform.

She took a quick sink bath so she didn't get sticky when the soda dried.

Unfortunately, Kerri couldn't find another loose uniform, and had to put on a tight one to finish the rest of her shift.

After the shift Kerri and Tammi walked into the dressing room, and Tammi threw her wings off. "Jeez, I hate those things, I almost knocked over almost everything!"

"I don't know, they're not so bad," Kerri said as she took her wings off.

"How did you manage to be so graceful? I didn't see you hit anything!" Tammi demanded with exasperation.

"Guess I'm just graceful," Kerri said, not wanting to mention that she sometimes had wings and these little ones were nothing compared to hers.

* * *

Kerri was coming in from work when Kurt found her. He'd waited for her, and, wanting to give her something for Valentines Day, he'd gotten a cute little leopard cat that had a heart patterned ribbon around it's neck. He hid it, holding it with his tail so he could surprise her.

She stepped out of the car and her coat swung open as she stood, revealing her tight and tiny uniform.

Kurt stepped forward, but stopped as he saw the barely there uniform.

Kerri looked up and stopped walking as she neared him. She looked down to see what he was staring at, and found that it was her uniform. She looked back up to him and her heart started pounding in her chest.

The look he was giving her stirred something in her, made her want him to keep looking. It was a possessive wanting look, like he wanted to claim her.

She shook her head and closed her jacket, hiding herself from view.

Kurt looked up to her face. "Vhat vas zhat?"

"My work uniform," she told him.

"Vhat?!" He demanded. "Zhat is a vork uniform?!"

"I'm a waitress," she said.

"A vaitress? Dressed like zhat?! Vere is it zhat you vork?!"

"At a club," she told him.

"Vhat kind of club is zhat?!" He demanded.

"The one I work at," she said, her agitation at him from before surfacing.

"How can you valk around in zhose clothes and..." He gestured vaguely, unsure how to say what he was thinking.

"And what, work? Earn money? Be around other men?" She asked with a harsh tone. Her hands clenched into fists and her breath came fast and ragged. She dodged past him and went into the school, up to her room.

Kurt stood in the garage for a few minutes, confused and agitated and... jealous.

He teleported to his room and laid on the bed, holding the valentines cat in his hands, running his fingers over the soft fur, trying to calm himself.

Her clothes had been so revealing. She said she worked at a club, and with how she had looked right now, her hair done up, make up on, tiny clothes...

Every time he thought of her uniform it seemed smaller than before, and his pulse raced at the picture it presented.

She was so beautiful, and he was so attracted to her...

And she wore that uniform to work, at a club, where he was sure other men were...

How was he going to keep other men away from her when he wasn't allowed to be around her...

He groaned in agony at the position he was in.

As Kerri got to her room, she slammed the door behind her. Not that a door could keep Kurt out if he wanted to get in, but it made her feel better.

"How can you walk around in those clothes and..." she gestured around vaguely and muttered under her breath as she paced back and forth agitatedly. "What, he doesn't want anyone else seeing me in skimpy clothes? Wants to have me all to himself, but that stupid girl too? He's so..." her fists waved through the air. She stopped pacing and turned to her closet. "If he's worried about someone else seeing me in revealing clothes... I'll show him something to be afraid of..." She dug around in the back of her closet until she found the bags of clothes Kitty had given her at the beginning of the year.

"Won't know what hit him..." she muttered darkly.


	12. Tail Talent?

**[AN: Sorry it's taking me so long to get these chapters out lately guys, the hours for the training I'm in are getting switched around, then put back, then mentioned as different, then... lol, and when I got home today, my husband was applying for another job, tieing up my computer. Anyways, here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it, please feel free to review, message me, or just read!]**

* * *

Kerri walked down the hall, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. The pants she was wearing were nice looking, but a little tight, her shirt was almost like a second skin and she had a light jacket on to cover so she didn't feel naked.

She made sure to pass by the drama class, but missed Kurt.

He saw her later, though, as she went to work, letting her coat hang open as she passed by him a few feet away.

Kurt watched Kerri pass, flaunting her little uniform, and heard a group of the students talking.

"Wow, I can't believe she's wearing that out in February!" "She works at a club or bar or something..." "Wow, maybe we should go check that place out." "Yeah."

For the next week the school was abuzz about Kerri's job, wondering what she did at work, talking about how she'd changed as she wore her tight shirts and jeans, and that when some of the juniors tried to go check out the club, they brought back whispers of refused entrance because of a rule about having to be eighteen, and the couple of seniors that had gone brought back reports of women dancing, but not stripping, and of seeing Kerri, serving them drinks and food.

Even though she didn't know it, or think so, Kerri had been thought of as pretty, but now, she seemed to have gained some kind of cool beauty, and some of the underclassmen had started looking up to her a little, although she didn't seem to notice that either.

Kerri sat in the library, trying to finish her homework before she had to go get ready for work.

She stifled a yawn, trying to concentrate on the book in front of her.

Her schedule was hectic, but somehow she made it work; school from morning until afternoon, homework during her free period until school ended, a nap, getting ready for work, work from night until early morning, come back with enough time to take a nap before school.

She ran her hand over her face trying to stay awake a little longer, there was only half an hour left and she still had her math work to do.

The drama class filed in, heading to the shelves, but Kerri didn't see Kurt anywhere, so she got back to work, but her head drooped and she eventually dozed off.

Fifteen minutes later, the bell rang and the drama class headed out.

As Kurt slowly moved toward the front of the library, letting everyone go ahead of him, he saw that Hank was gone, and thought that he was alone until he saw Kerri leaning forward with her face on a table.

He was surprised for a minute that she wasn't in the back, but then he noticed the way her tight shirt hugged her body, then the curve of her waist, her back leading up the spot just above her shoulder blades by her spine; the spot that made her moan his name.

His fingers twitched, aching to touch her skin, run up to that spot and make her turn so he could kiss her...

She lifted her head from the table and stretched, her shirt riding up so he could see her back.

Kerri sat up and her hair fell, covering her back as she stretched. She'd fallen asleep, and now her homework wasn't done, but at least she wasn't as tired now.

"Hallo Kerri," Kurt said from behind her, making her heart beat faster.

She looked around, noticing that they were alone. "Hello."

"So, you're a vaitress?" He asked, trying to sound neutral and mend some fences.

She looked up at him. He sounded calmer than the last time she'd heard him. "Yes."

"Vhat else do you do zhere?" He asked.

"Clean," she answered, looking at the watch in her pocket. "I have to go get ready for work," she told him.

She didn't really have to quite yet, but being around him was making her heart ache to hold him close, her lips wanted to kiss him, her hands were starting to shake as she kept control to keep them away from him, her brain was forgetting that she was supposed to be mad at him. She stood up and quickly gathered her books before hurrying away.

"Kerri," he paused. "Have a good night at vork," he told her. "Schatz."

Kerri paused in her steps out the door. Schatz, he'd called her schatz again. She still didn't know what it meant. 'Maybe I should look it up,' she thought, but wasn't sure, still worried that it was something she didn't want to know.

* * *

Kerri went up to the pick up window and took all the items for the table she was going to. She walked over to the table where Annallia was sitting surrounded by five men and placed a tray of hot wings, a piece of cake, and a bowl of ice cream onto the table along with the drinks they ordered. Of course, the men weren't going to eat anything, they paid for the food, but they also paid to get into the club to watch Annallia eat it.

She walked to the next booth where Joy was sitting with her feet on the table, putting on another pair of shoes. Those men had come to watch her try on and model shoes, also she rubbed her feet in massage every so often for the ones who liked just feet and not shoes.

"Hi guys, still doing ok? Can I get you anything?" She asked, smiling pleasantly.

"Hey, babe, could you get me a rob roy? And a pitcher of something on tap. Oh, and when you get back, maybe you and some of the other waitresses can have a wet T-shirt contest, huh? There's a good girl," he said, smacking her on the ass.

Kerri's eyes widened and her eyebrows rose. This was the first time she herself had ever been sexualized here, usually the clients had at least the normal courtesy to the waitresses because they handled the food and drinks.

This guy, however, was being a jerk, making her wonder why he wasn't over in the "lap dance area" where the dominatrix and "slave" were doing their thing; the dominatrix whipped the ground and tables with a riding crop, walking around, telling the men to do things, sounding like a drill sergeant, while the "slave" did things she was told, within the rules of the area.

She smiled and took his order anyway, taking it to the bar. She saw Tammi and told her, "That guy over there wants booze, and he wants to pour it all over us. He smacked me on the butt, too."

Tammi looked over at the guy she had pointed out. "Yeah, not happening," she laughed. "I'll take over the booze."

Kerri went about her work, making sure everyone was happy, but when she made her way back to get the empty plates from Annallia, the man at Joy's table got her attention.

"What can I do for you?" She asked, trying to be pleasant as she stood next to a table of men watching the dancers.

"Yeah, I said I wanted to see a wet T-shirt contest," he told her.

"I'm sorry, sir, the waitresses don't do things like that," she tried being polite but also firm.

He'd smacked her a few more times on the butt as she walked past, when ever she came to see if they needed anything. Her fifteen minute nap was long forgotten, her body wanted to lay down to sleep, and with the way he was acting, she was getting agitated.

"Maybe I'll make my own show, then." She wondered what he was talking about for a second as he picked up the pitcher, looking like he was going to take a drink. Her tired reflexes were making her slow to react to anything, and next thing she knew, the front of her shirt was soaked and she smelled like beer. "There we go," he said, setting the pitcher back into the table.

Anger rose in her. Her jaw tensed, her eyes narrowed, and her hands clenched as she tried to hold her anger in so she didn't do something that would get her fired. The other men at the table stared at him and Joy was stopped in shock, half way through changing her shoes.

Kerri felt her tail hit against something as it and her ears grew out, laid back against her head.

The man behind her, who she had hit, turned, and his hand touched her tail, stroking it. "Ohhhhh, a furry," his voice came out soft, but loud enough that she could hear over the music with her improved hearing.

She turned, horrified that one, someone was touching her tail, two, her tail was out, and three, people were looking at her, one of them being Sal, who was making his way over to the situation with two large men in tow.

"'Scuse me sir, yer gunna hafta leave," Sal told him, and he was escorted by the two men. Kerri had managed to get rid of her ears and tail, but she couldn't take the memory of the image of from their minds. "Kerri, can I talk to you in the dressing room?"

As she turned and headed into the dressing room, she heard the man who had touched her tail talking to Sal; "It's about time you got a furry..."

She stood there, waiting for Sal to find her, listening to the music as it came through the wall.

The door opened and Sal walked in, tossing her a towel. "Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah," she told him, waiting for the firing.

"So, you have a tail," he commented after a minute, and she nodded, looking at the ground. "Do you know what a furry is?" She shook her head, and he continued. "A furry is someone who looks like an animal, like with a tail, ears, and fur. Can I see your tail?"

She wasn't sure about letting him see, but there was no one in the room except for them, her brain was having trouble making good judgments due to lack of sleep, and he didn't sound angry or disgusted, so she nodded and let her tail sway down as her ears stood up on her head. "How far can you go?"

Her eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"Can you grow fur, or a muzzle, or anything else?" He explained.

"I could turn all the way into an animal, but I don't want to," she said.

"Are you interested in becoming a dancer? I've been looking for someone to wear ears and a tail to dance as a furry, but they've been reluctant because they're worried about people thinking they're mutants," he explained.

"Yeah, who'd want that," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't worry, I'm not against mutants, they're people like everyone else, with their own problems, and besides, some of the mutations, like yours, could make some big bucks, and that's good for business. So, you interested?" He asked.

Kerri looked at him, her head tilting to the side and her tail flicking back and forth as she thought. "You want me to dance on stage, like this, or more, thereby revealing my identity as a mutant? In front of people like that guy who threw the beer on me and kept smacking me on the ass?" She asked.

"He's been escorted out, and invited to not return. I don't let the customers do whatever they want," he told her. "Should I have a time set for you to audition?"

Kerri's tail flicked back and forth for a few seconds as she thought, then she put her head straight and made her ears and tail disappear. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

"Go ahead and get changed, finish your shift tonight, I'll get it set up and get back to you," he said as he walked out the door.

Kerri barely made it home and into bed before she crashed into dream land.

When she woke up the next morning, she went to classes as usual, and for her free period, she asked Dr. McCoy if she could use the computer while she was in the library.

He let her, of course, and she went to YouTube, looking up 'nightclub dancers' and finding a video. She watched it, studying the dance moves.

They seemed pretty simple; just shaking what they had, dancing around to the beat, and having fun.

Kerri blushed, though. There was no way she'd ever look that good, and she'd definitely never look that sexy, even if she used her mutation to look like those girls, there was something about the way they moved that she didn't think she could replicate.

She decided to look up pole dancing, too, not for the dirty stuff, but to see the moves, and was surprised to see that there was a few pole dancing for exercise videos on there.

She went to the pole dancing for beginners and watched a few spins, trying to remember them, watching them over and over to memorize them.

* * *

Kerri was in her room, about to go to sleep, when she passed her mirror. She looked at herself and assessed what little prettiness she thought she had.

Her eyes were a nice color, but no one would see them in the dark. She liked her hair, but it really needed a trim about now. Her breasts stuck out farther than her stomach, and while that might not sound like a lot, she was glad about it.

She turned and looked over her shoulder at her butt, lifting her shirt and pulling down her pants a little to see it in her underwear. The girls at the club wore clothes that were very skimpy, sometimes even skimpier than her uniform, and the girls in the night club dancing video were wearing bottoms that were so short and tight that they were almost lost.

Would she be able to wear something like that in front of anyone else? Probably not...

She straightened her clothes and went to her bed, thinking, 'There's no way I'll ever be sexy, and definitely not sexy enough to do that job.'

It was the next week when Kerri had her audition to be a dancer, and she went in to work early.

When she opened the door and entered, she saw Danni sitting at a table with Sal and another dancer. She went up to them and set her bag on the table; she'd worn her work out clothes and brought her uniform with her to change into.

"You're here, alright, go up on the stage." The three of them went up to the stage, Danni and the other girl on either side of her. "Ok, Danni, show her the basics," Sal ordered from the table.

Danni showed her a few different things, stuff she'd already seen on the videos. Kerri followed it without much problem, only having trouble with the rhythm because there was no music. "Good, Jane, show her some advanced stuff."

Jane turned to Kerri and said, "Now, just because you can't do anything like this, don't worry."

She dropped into a set of splits and Kerri shrugged. "I can do that," she said.

"Really?" Jane asked, and Kerri stretched a little, then slid into a set of splits and stretched some more. "How about this?" Jane asked, turning to a side split and laying on the floor of the stage.

"Sure," Kerri said, turning to a side split and laying down, supporting her head on her hands.

"What else can you do?" Sal asked from the table.

"A bit, I do a lot of stretching and flexibility stuff," Kerri said.

She brought her toes up so that they were pointed in the air, even though she was still in a split, making her look like a goal post. She moved into a seal stretch and touched her head to her toes, then put her toes back down and laid flat, putting her hands on the floor and slowly pushing so that she was standing on her hands and her feet were under her, then kept going so that she was only on her hands and her legs moved straight up before dropping into a split.

She hand walked so she was by the pole, then hooked her right knee around it, holding on tight as she put her other foot onto the ground and took her left hand from the ground, moving it to hold onto her right foot behind her before she took her other hand off of the ground, holding it in the air as she leaned up until she was straight up against the pole. Her right hand held onto it and her left hand let go of her foot to hold the pole as well. She moved into a split again, then pulled herself up until she was standing using the pole.

The other three were silent as they watched her. "What, was that weird?" She asked. "How about this, is this better?" She held onto the pole and did a tilt, a standing split, before swinging her top leg down and around, hanging onto the pole and spreading her arms out like she was flying as she spun around the pole until she was sitting with her leg still around the pole.

They were still staring at her and she started feeling self conscious. "So... I'll take that as I didn't pass the audition..."

Sal found his voice finally. "No, you pass, that was amazing. Where'd you learn that?"

"Um, it's just some stuff I like practicing..." She left out that she liked practicing it so that she could survive Logan's obstacle courses in the danger room.

Seeing that she wasn't going to talk about it any further, he sent her into the dressing room with Danni and Jane.

"Wow, that's amazing, how long did it take you to learn that?" Jane asked her.

"Well, I did a little of ballet and gymnastics for a few years when I was little, then I lapsed in classes for a few years, then when I transferred to the school I go to now, I get to practice as much as I want, and I even have a class period for that stuff. I've been steadily working at it everyday for over a year," Kerri answered.

"Wow, why didn't you try out to be a talent before?" Danni asked, digging through the racks to find her an outfit.

"I didn't really... I still don't... I don't think I'm going to be good at it..." Kerri muttered, sitting in one of the chairs at the vanity.

"Why not?" Jane asked as she opened her cubby and dug out her bag of clothes.

"Well, there will be people watching me, and I don't really know how to dance... And I'm not at all sexy. Kinda hard to entice men when you have no allure," she admitted.

"You danced well enough when you followed me," Danni said as she pulled out a skirt so small it hardly took up any fabric and a set of shorts to match that were even shorter than her uniform. She dug out a shirt that had ribbon ties down the back, leaving ribbons hanging, and the sleeves were cap sleeves at the top, but they went all the way down on the bottom with strips of fabric across the top every so often to keep it as a sleeve. "Here you go, this should be a good outfit for your first dance. Don't forget to wear a bikini under it, sometimes the mood takes you and..." she giggled. "We had a girl who stripped her whole outfit off, but she only had her underwear on under it, so she got into trouble because it was all lacy and you could see through it. She almost stripped that off, too." Danni couldn't stop laughing now.

"What do you mean?" Kerri asked as she took the clothes.

"Well, when you do your first dance they let you have the center stage so you can show off what you have and gain customers. There isn't really any choreography, just the music and the men, and your imagination. You're supposed to get caught up in the music and have fun dancing, it looks better that way, although Katie, the girl who plays the slave, she had a horrible time and looked abused and mistreated, which led to her current position, because there are guys who like that.

"You're going to be the furry, right?" She paused just long enough to see Kerri nod. "Then it will probably be just dancing and shaking your tail, literally. Don't do it too hard, though, the tail might come off." Kerri was startled by this until she realized that Danni thought she was going to be wearing a fake tail. "Anyway, as I was saying before, it's just the music and the customers and your imagination, and some girls get so crazy they strip down. Oh, and if you want to strip anything, just wear that and you can put something to take off on top of it," she said, gesturing to the outfit she'd given to Kerri. "Don't worry, you don't have to do it until you're ready, Sal's not an idiot; if he made you dance before you were ready he might lose customers."

Kerri sighed in relief and changed into her uniform for work, wondering, 'What did I get myself into?'

* * *

Kerri was in Professor Xavier's office, sitting on her usual couch.

"Is there something you want to talk about, Kerri?" He asked, noticing the distraction in her eyes.

She looked up at him, startled back into reality, and realized how cushy she had it here; she could afford to let her mind wander, unlike when she had lived in her alley, she'd had to be on constant look out for people or animals who wanted to hurt her.

"I- I was wondering... I was wondering why I can turn into what ever I want, but when ever I slip and just change I have a specific shape," she said.

Charles put his fingers together under his chin as he thought for a moment. "Do you know anything about Native American legends?" He asked finally. She looked back up to him and shook her head no. "Well, a lot of them believe that each person has a totem or spirit animal. Maybe your spirit animal pokes it's head through when you change," he suggested. Her eyes narrowed in confusion as she stared at him. "If you want to know more, Logan knows a lot about the Blackfoot Indian legends and stories."

She nodded and looked back to the floor. "There's another thing." He waited patiently as she struggled with how to word her next sentence. "I... got a promotion at work."

Charles's eyebrows rose as he asked, "To what?"

Kerri's cheeks flushed a little as she studied the carpet. "Talent."

"How did that happen?"

"Well, I was working, and everything was going well, except there was this guy, he was a jerk. A real chauvinist pig. He said he wanted to see a wet T-shirt contest and tossed a pitcher of beer on me. I managed to keep my calm, but my tail hit one of the guys behind me, and... Do you know what a furry is?" She asked and he tilted his head in denial. "It's someone who likes to wear or see other people wearing tails and ears and fur and stuff," she told him, then wondered for an instant if she was a furry since she loved Kurt, who had a tail, pointed ears, and soft fuzzy fur on his body, before she remembered that she was supposed to be mad at him and brushed the thought off.

"What does this have to do with your promotion?" Charles asked.

"Well, my tail hit that guy, and I guess Sal has been trying to get someone to be a furry for a while, and... He asked me to dance on the stage with my tail out. Please don't let it get out to Kurt..."

"Are you ashamed of it?" He questioned, wondering at her worry about Kurt finding out.

"No, I'll probably only last long enough for my first dance, I just..." She trailed off.

"Why are you worried about Kurt finding out?"

"Well, he saw my waitress uniform and... I don't need him harassing me." It was a bluff, but she hoped it sounded legitimate enough to stop him from asking questions.

Charles was confused and concerned by what he was learning about the two young mutants' relationship. He knew Kurt loved her with all of his heart, even though he was pretending he didn't so they didn't get into trouble, but Kerri...

The words that came from her mouth about him were always so angry. "I'm sure he's just worried about you, trying to protect you," he said, testing the water.

"I don't think so." Her voice was dark and sullen.

"I know he must still care about you, even if he's not able to show it," he told her in an attempt to assuage her hurt feelings, but in reply he heard a short throaty growl come from her, and he suddenly knew what the problem was.

She was afraid.

It was as simple as that; she had come far out of her shell last year, far enough to get hurt, and now she was struggling to get back in before she got hurt.

Only she was too afraid to admit that maybe she still loved Kurt, because in her eyes knowledge was power, and if someone knew, someone could use it against her, and she was afraid enough to think that person was going to be Kurt.

Charles closed his eyes and shook his head in disappointment, saying, "I won't tell him."

* * *

Kerri stood on the stage, wearing the outfit Danni had pulled out for her, and listened to the music as she practiced walking up and down the stage in the three inch heels that Danni had also lent her.

"This is ridiculous, I'm going to fall over on my face, and as weird as the people who come here are, I don't think any of them are going to think that's sexy," she complained.

Danni giggled. "That's because you have to walk a little differently than normal. Walk with loose hips, like this," she said as she walked, her hips swaying exaggeratedly. "The 'sexy walk'."

Kerri swayed her hips a little more and found that it was easier. She practised for another half hour or so until she had to go change and get ready for work.

On Saturday, Kerri went to the mall and got a pair of shoes to start practicing walking around in before going to do the grocery shopping.

She practiced walking around her room and over the weekend gradually became good enough to walk through the halls without being too self conscious.

She ran into Logan as he headed to the kitchen for another beer. "H-hi..." she said nervously.

He looked her up and down with a slightly questioning eyebrow, but said nothing as he turned and headed into the kitchen.

During classes the next day, Kerri wore her new shoes, getting strange looks from the teachers and students.

She noticed that she was taller, almost as tall as the tall boys, and an inch taller than Kurt.

As she passed the drama class on her roundabout way to History, Kurt saw her on his way past the door, and he couldn't help but stop and stare as she passed, watching as her hips swayed temptingly.

Gambit stepped next to him, watching her as well. "Ah, ami, Gambit tink dat little chere teasin' you," he said by Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt cleared his throat uncomfortably and stepped back into the classroom.

* * *

Kerri sat in the library during her free period, finishing her homework, when Gambit walked up to her table. "Hey dere, little chere."

"Hello, Professor," she answered, looking up at him.

"Now, chere, tell ol' Gambit; why you wearin' dose tall shoes?" He asked.

"I'm practicing walking in them for work," she told him.

"Mmm-hmm, you sure you ain't baitin' someone?" He raised a brow at her.

Kerri's eyebrows met in confusion. "Uuuuummmmm... I don't know what you're asking, Professor..." she said, unsure if he was talking about himself or someone else.

"You know who Gambit mean. Your fuzzy beau," he told her.

Kerri was silent for a moment, then her voice came out with a deadly calm, belying her anger. "I don't have a beau, and certainly not a fuzzy one. I believe you at least know the rules, even if you don't choose to follow them. At least that was said fuzzy male's voiced reason... Even if I don't believe him and that little..." She trailed off as her tail began twitching angrily. Gambit's eyes widened at her vengeful mumbles until she suddenly caught herself and stopped. "I have to go, I have to get ready for work. See you later, Professor," she said as she got up and gathered her things before leaving.

Gambit watched her leave, muttering to himself, "Whoa, dat one mad little fille."

When Kerri walked in through the door to the club Sal immediately pulled her aside. "Hey, kid, I let you have a week to get ready, you gunna do your dance now?"

"Uh, yeah, I can- at least not fall on my face, I hope," she told him.

"Well, ok, then. I'll head you up for tomorrow," he said as he walked away.


End file.
